William Audley Couper papers

of what was to be got for each dear child - The mail came in late & good brother Henry went down to the Office he brought us your letter to Lord - I begged Georgia to open it & let me know why Tootee had not written. I soon too soon heard the sad cause. Oh! what hours have since been past!! How for-tunate that dear Cousin Amanda was with you at that try- -ing moment. May God! reward her for all her kindness to us - My poor child! May God! preserve you - & you my William what a task to write that letter - I fear much for you my Tootee. Remember my child there are yet 3 precious children left. Oh! may they be spared to you. How I long & yet dread to return to you. How different from the happy meeting we were so fondly anticipating. Oh! my Tootee my Tootee may God grant no further misfortune awaits us. Your letter of the 4^th I have never received. I hope I may not be too soon by taking passage on the 30^th. We have had severe frost here & hope the cold weather has extended to Savannah & the Isld. I have ever regretted leaving you this summer each mile which took me from you seemed to drag back my heart to you & those beloved children. Too late too late now for repentance - Oh! could I have foreseen this event no power would have induced me to leave you . But my children remember It is the Lord who gave & it is the Lord who has taken to himself this darling child - He knows best what was for her good. Had you possessed the wealth of the world you could not have provided for her as God! will - Had she lived she may have become unfit for her now happy home. Had she lived through this illness - she must sooner or later have died - Let us try to grieve no more - but place

[top right of page] Hamilton 18^th October 1852

My beloved Mother

What shall I write you - I cannot write I can only think & feel and suffer - William wrote Lord on that dreadful day to tell you of our agonising loss - and Cousin Amanda wrote you on Tuesday the 12 - no one has written you since - We are all here still and as far as mortal can tell free from disease May God in Mercy preserve us so - no words can tell our anguish I cannot with any thing of all our loss & suffering - You can know it - Poor William - God above can help us - Oh may he draw us to him in the right way - oh may he pity us for his dear sons [sic] sake - Cousin Amanda and her kind husband were obliged to leve [sic] us a few days ago - We are all alone in our sorrow -

William thinks you can with Gods [sic] will leve [sic] in the Steamer of the 23 - by the time you get home it well we trust in Gods [sic] mercy be safe - but my Mother dear use your own judgment - life is so uncertain your Negros [sic] that you left are all alive and though there has been some very ill all are now well - or only one or two complaining a little. I hope you may find them all when you return - Your house will in a few days be ready to receive you and Oh I pray to the Great and Merciful God that you one and all may return to it in health Oh Heavenly Father break not the bruised reed but look in Mercy on us - . Oh my Mother my Mother pray for us - We are better calmer now - I trust you are not to be uneasy and unhappy for us God will watch over us and he alone has any power in life or death - Anna Willie & King send you kisses - Our angel who is in Heaven spoak [sic] of you the last day she was with you us you & her beloved Appy - [Also?] Flora & Georgia -

Mrs Gale is here better & stronger than I have seen her for two years - She sends love - & appears very sad for us - poor old woman - All your people long to see you - Oh Mother loved Mother may God help us all in pity - I can write no more - Praying and hoping to live to see you one and all ever more in health - William joins his warm love with ours - Oh I pray to God to keep us all in life - Oh to see you again Oh may Our Heavenly Father watch over us one and all - Do not grieve more than you can help - Do not wear mourning for her who is now an angel rejoicing with her God - Oh her poor Mothers [sic] heart is nigh broken - May God have pity on poor us - You shall know all about her if we live to meet - with it I never can - Goodby [sic] my beloved Mother -

Your poor child [signed] H

you have two bright Angels in Heaven. Will you not try to join them there - ? God! grant you may! Oh! what is this life that we should desire to cling to it. All is vanity & vexation of spirit & sooner or later death will overtake us. How blest are those who have made their peace with God! before how unutterably wretched those who have not. If the spirit of that sweet angel was permitted to speak to you - She would implore you to begin at once to enter into that strait [sic] & narrow path which will surely lead you to her now happy happy home. Cannot you imagine her now stretching out those beautiful arms - & with her bright winning smile begging you to come up to her ? I think I see her now my own blessed baby. I know that this is a bitter trial to you It is so to me. But let us not presume to murmur. Our ins only endeavour should be to strive to meet her & our other loved ones in that world where there is no more sickness - pain or death. I would she could have been spared - ! I know this is a selfish wish. Oh! my Tootee my William your poor Mother would give you comfort if she could. But tho' convinced our precious Bob is now a bright angel in Heaven - my poor sinful selfish heart will pine for her. I know my beloved Anna & Willie grieve for their darling Bobby. My poor babes may you be spared to your parents. I hope you will be careful that the heat on darling King is not struck in. I know how you feel towards those beloved ones - When my Willie died I looked on the rest of you as mere shadows. I was thinking this morn-ing as I lay in bed - / every one else asleep - for now I sleep but little I was calling to mind every acquaintance I had made in New Haven - & not one lady there but [one] had been afflicted more than either you or I have as yet been - We have / praise

be to God! yet many blessings left. & tho' death has taken this one sweet lamb - how much greater may have been the bereavement - You my daughter & you my son - must seek consolation from God! His affliction is sent in mercy to you or to her. & to me. We loved her too much - we must love her memory as long as we live - We must earnestly try to meet her go to her - for she can return no more to us. I can write no more tonight - May God! bless you my loved ones & give you comfort - 19^th How are you this gloomy tempestuous morning ? Has one ray of comfort been shed on your agonized hearts. Have you been praying to God! for resignation - Let us my children feel that this chastisement is from the hand of a loving Father. We chastise our children from the love we have for their bodies - Our Father in Heaven chastises us from the love he has for our souls: Tootee my darling I left at home a little book which Mrs Timmons sent me after my William died - Get this book & read those offers of consolation to bereaved parents. I found great comfort from that book. I had hoped never again to read it on my own account. How comforting are the promises we find in the New Testiment [sic] "And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them and said Verily I say unto [you] Except ye be converted and become as little children ye shall never enter into the kingdom of Heaven." / "Take heed that ye dispise [sic] not one of these little ones; for I say unto you in Heaven their Angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven." And they brought little young children to him that he may touch them & his disciples rebuked those who brought them - but when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased and said unto them - suffer little children to come unto me and forbid them not for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven God! Verily I say unto you whosoever shall not receive the Kingdom of God! as a little children child - he shall not enter there in - And he took them up in his arms, put his hand upon them and blessed them. Our Saviors [sic] holy arms have encircled one precious child for me - two for you - Our darling Bill is now lisping words of praise & adoration to that blessed Savior - Oh! why can we not resign her to him with perfect cheerfulness. He has provided a far brighter inheritance

for her - than you or I could have done. he will save her from all future pain - which is more than you or I could do - Let us no longer think of her, as the bright darling - the pride of our poor sinful hearts as a child of earth. - try & forget her bed of pain & death - look not in her narrow grave - but with the eye of faith picture her in her new her happy abode - then picture (amidst millions of Cherubs) our beautiful our darling child - forever happy forever blessed - I fear I grieve too much for her - I know I do - I hope my own beloved Tootee that you will not attempt to write to me yourself - I know the agony it will cost you I hope you my William will just let me hear of the living I am painfully anxious for you all - Oh! my children let us cast our cares at the feet of Jesus - he will not not put more on us than we are able to bear - He will enable us to bear the punish-ment we receive for our sins - Oh gracious God! our sufferings are great, but not to be compared to those of our Saviour; yet we know that even the hours of our sufferings are limited by thy Providence, and thou countest them to us. Thou appointest their beginning and end. Grant that we may acquiesce with our whole heart in what thou art pleased to inflict, who orderest every thing for the good of thy creatures - Thou wilt not only limit the period of our sufferings, but wilt Preserve us, Oh Lord, from the gloom of unbelief, from the darkness of spiritual blindness, and from the eternal night of the dark abyss Sanctify to us every pain and every sorrow, that we may pass through the furnace of affliction, as gold purified in the fire; and when we come off more than conquer through Him who hath loved us and given himself for us. My beloved children it does seem my only comfort to write to you - to pray for you - I know my letters are confused. I feel - I feel such anxiety for the living. We know not on whom the draft of death will descend Oh! how little I dreamed it would fall on my sweet Isabel God! grant we may soon meet & be a comfort to each other You know how much I loved her - you know how much I grieve for her - We can together weep - we will together seek comfort and consolation from the only true source Oh! may her death be the means of drawing our hearts closer to God -

I expect to leave this on Thursday & or Friday for New York No own Sister could be kinder than Mary has been to me or could an own brother than Henry. My own blessed children

[top right] New York 22 October 1852

My beloved Children

I was in hopes before we left Allentown I may have heard further from you - as Amanda said she was expecting M^r Woolley over on the 13^th he could have written just to let me know how you were. I would not have you write my darling - I know what a trial it would be I would not have dear William write for the same reason. God! grant my precious ones you may have received some com-fort. Your trial is great - but how much greater it may be. God! has taken unto himself the one most fit to adorn his Kingdom that lovely spotless babe - How much greater the loss my William had your wife been taken - & oh! my Tootee what would be your state had William left you! Oh for faith to believe that "all is for the best."

Oh! what short sighted creatures we are. Could I have dreamed that such would be the termination of this fatal Summer - no persuasion would have induced me to leave you my Tootee. Oh! how merciful God! was to spare that darling until her Father got back - he permitted dear William to meet her in health - When I reflect on the greater losses I may meet with - My beloved husband - my 9 beloved children - my William - my Anna my Willie - I tremble to think I may out-live all these. May God! be merciful to me a poor sinner that I am.!!!

We left Allentown yesterday morning - could I two weeks ago have foreseen the cloud then bursting over my head - I would not be now here - but I had to come here to prepare for my departure for home. Your kind Uncle & Aunt were

were so considerate - so kind - Oh! how much better could I have remained there until my final departure from the North. She bids me tell you - how much she sympathises with you - She lost her only child - & tho' he was but 6 weeks old - he was her all. Rest assured my children that God! does not willingly afflict the children or me - This affliction grievous as it is, is sent in mercy & loving kindness - to her or to us - Let us look beyond to grave - let us picture to ourselves that babe a bright angel in Heaven - Let us give our hearts to God! Let us believe in the merits of our Saviour Savior. Oh! how much he suffered for us! than think of his life of trial & his agonizing death - Oh! that I could speak words of comfort to you. Ours is the common lot of man. Look around - & you will see how few have raised large families without losing any It is true some have - but yet these must all die We cannot live forever. Sooner or later all must die. How blest are those who die young & sinless - We cling to the lives of our children. We would keep them with us, forgetting that God! knows best for them - "Thou alone knowest what is good for us - Thou art God! of all; do therefore what seemeth thou best; Give to us, or take from us. Conform our will to thine; and grant that with humble and perfect submission and in holy confidence we may be disposed to receive the orders of thy eternal providence;" ---------------------------------------------------

In one week from tomorrow we will turn our faces homeward - That home I left in distress - that home I shall return to in far deeper sorrow than I have felt for near twenty years - How merciful God! has been to spare me so long. Oh! my child - my child - let us

at sunrise. O Thou comforter of the afflicted, be nigh unto us, and let faith and hope, the blessed tokens of thy presence fill our hearts. In faith would we follow this departed child in its ascending flight The tie which bound it to us is broken, but it can never can be separated from Thee. (Oh! blessed thought) We called it ours, but it was thine, and to Thee it was it united far more intimately than to us. It was sent hither in accordance with the will of Him who doeth nothing in vain, and by the same wise will it is summoned hence. Help us to recognise it as the sacred property of God, as it were an Angel alighting among us for a little while upon a mission of love. May we rejoice, with a joy deep beyond utterance, at the thought of that goodness which lent us this precious treasure to gladden our hearts, altho [sic] but for a brief space. A messenger from heaven has been here. May the heavenly tidings which it brought be graven on our inmost souls, not to be erased by the grief of the present hour, but deepen'd by the tears which we shed. Sanctify the memory of this beloved child, and may it prove a fountain of blessed and saving thoughts. May that other world which thy gospel hath unveiled rise before our imagination in new brightness as the home of our beloved. O may we hence forth be more earnest in the great work of life. May we strive more diligently to prepare ourselves for communion and fellowship with the pure and blessed in thine everlasting Kingdom. Almighty God, what shadows we are? What is our life? We suffer and we enjoy It is a vapour which appeareth for a little while and then it vanishes away. We take a few steps in life. We suffer, and we enjoy, and then we disappear from the face of the earth forever. But blessed be God! we are not wholly dust. There is a spirit within us which can never taste death,