ksul-uasc-mscc208_005

OverviewTranscribeVersionsHelp

Facsimile

Transcription

Status: Needs Review

pale beauty, fired my heart. And yet she is
mine," I said. "Shall I send for her? What,
to abuse, mistrust and starve her? Never."

I called for my money, and had it laid upon
the table before me, and then came a mighty
struggle; but God was stronger than the devil.
I rolled the bills together and threw them across
the floor.

"Lie there, curse of my soul," I cried - "lie
there, till I have conquered myself, ay, if the
victoroy is not won till you are rotten."

I shut that room and scaled it up. For one
year I toiled like a penniless man. By constant
exertion I place my business on a successful
footing, and began life a new man.

It was only another phase of the malady, my
friends cried, but I knew what I was doing. I
wrote to Lilly once or twice before I laid bare
my heart. I dared not, even now, trust myself.
I asked if she would come back if I proved my-
self a changed man; and, woman-like, angel-
like, she said yes.

Well, she came. On the day of her return I
opened the sealed door. The bank notes lay
where I had flung them. I took them up with
the pride of a conqueror, and placing them in
her hands, I said,-

"They are no longer my tyrants, use them as
you will"

Now I am a man, redeemed from the thral-
dom of covetousness. I can look on my wife
without a pang of regret, save that I should
once have caused her to suffer. I think of my
good benefactor without shame. I am redeemed.
Yes, by the forbearance of God and the strength
He has given me, I am what Iam. ALMA.

THE DEFORMED CHILD.

When summer days are long and warm, they set my little
chair

Without the door, and in the sun they leave me sitting
there;

Then many thoughts come to my mind, that others never
know,

About myself and what I feel, and what was long ago.

There are no less than six of us, and all of them are tall
And stout as any you may see, but I was always small;
The neighbors look at me, and say I grow not with the
rest;

The father strokes my head, and says, The least are
sometimes best.

But hearing I was not like them, within my head one day
it came (strange thought that children have!) that I'd
been changed away!

And then I cried; but soon the thought brought comfor
to my mind,-

If I were not their own, I know they could not be so kind.

For we are happy in our home as ever people were,
Yet sometimes rather looks as if his heart was full of care;
When things go wrong about the house, then mother
vexed will be;

But neither of them ever spoke a cross word unto me.

And once, when all was dark, they came to kiss me in my
bed.

And though they thought I slept quite sound, I heard
each word they said.

"Poor little thing! to make thee well, we'd freely give
our all;

But God knows best!" and on my cheek I felt a warm tear fall.

And then I longed to sit upright, and tell them not to fret,
For that my pains were not so bad, I should be stronger
yet;

But as the words came to my lips, hey seemed to die
away,

And then they drew the curtain close, and left me as I
lay.

And so I did not speak at all, and yet my heart was full;
And now, when I am sick and ill, for fear it makes them
dull

To see my face so pale worn, I creep to father's side,
And press it close against his own, and try the pain to
hide.

But it is best within the house when nights are long and
dark,

And two of brothers run from school, and two come in
from work;

And they are all so kind to me, the first word they will
say

To mother at the door will be, "Has Bess been well to
day?"

And though I love them all so well, one may be loved the
best,

And brother John, I scarce know why, seems dearer than
the rest.

But tired and cross as I may feel, when he comes in at
night,

And take me on his knee and chats - then ever thing is
right!

When once, I know, about some work he went quite far
away,

O ! how I wished him back again, and counted every day;
And when, the first of all, I heard his foot upon the stair,
Just for that once I longed to run and leave my little
chair!

Then when I look at other girls, they never seem to be
So pretty as our Hannah is, or half so neat as she;
But she will soon be leaving us, to settle far away,
With one she loves, and who has loved her well this
many a day.

I [sometlmes] think because I have few pleasures, and no
cares,

Wherewith to please or vex myself, they like to tell me
theirs;

For sister talks to me for hours, and tells me much that
she

Would never breather unto a soul unless it were to me.

One night, when we were quite alone, she gave the fire a
stir,

And shut the door, and showed the ring that William
bought for her,

And told me all about her house; and often she has said
That I shall come to live with them, when she and Wil-
liam wed.

But that I think will scarcely be, for when our Hannah
goes,

What we shall do for want of her, not one among us
knows;

And though there is not much in me the place she leaves
to fill,

Yet something may be always done, where there is but
the will.

Then the kind doctor says, and he is very seldom wrong,
That I some day, when no one thinks, may grow both
stout and strong;

And should I be, through all my life, a care unto my
friends,

Yet father says there are worse cares than God Almight
sends!

And I will think of this, and then I never can feel dull,
But pray to God to make me good, and kind, and dutiful;
And when I think on Him that died, it makes my heart
grow light,

To know that feeble things on earth are precious in His
sight! DORA GREENWELL.
***************************************************

Notes and Questions

Nobody has written a note for this page yet

Please sign in to write a note for this page