Austin Fanzine Project

Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck.

Ok, so my daddy gave me a free ticket to see the Rolling Stones in San Antonio a while back. Now, I knew they were gonna suck, but I didn't realize how sad it was gonna make me.

Two of my dearest friends went with me- the poor saps actually paid for their tickets- and when we got there (even after days of speculation and anticipation of a sick spectacle) our mouths fell open in sheer disgust. There were thousands of people there who had paid $62 each to see this once- great band suck.

We sat with my pop and his friends, which turned out pretty well, since whoever else we would have sat next to probably would have strangled us for our lack of enthusiasm. Not that Dad was particularly pleased with our group cynicism, but I'm his kid, so he has to love me and all.

So anyway, somewhere lurking in the back of my mind was the faintest hope that the Stones would actually put on a decent show and maybe play some old shit like, say, "Stupid Girl" or something. Of course they didn't. The show sucked hard. They mostly played their new crap and some old stuff which peaked at the level of, oh, "Beast of Burden." Aack!!

The two highlights for me were when the great plumes of red flame shot from various parts of the set (instilling hope in our hearts that we might get to witness a Michael Jackson/Pepsi-type incident) and running into Bill Jeffery

[image from a toothbrush package reading, "Replaceable Heads ...Ecologically Correct!"]

were offering ? and the Mysterians t-shirts, bandannas, glossies, and "sunglass". The sunglasses were random design -- all black, all different, by no means a signature style. I saw both the Shakewells and the Sir Finks for the first time and they were both excellent. And when they were done a ? and the Mysterians pitch man took the stage and told the crowd about the most recent rave reviews found in various organs of the mass media. He also pitched the items for sale at the merch table, and finally, he introduced the band. The various middle-aged Latino men, all dressed in orange-and-black ? and the Mysterians shirts and bandannas swung into a snappy sixties garage-psych-rock ditty. It was really good. I was trying to guess which one was Mr. ?, when he came bounding on stage. OH MY GOD! I DID NOT EXPECT THIS. This guy was a spandex-panted-flamenco-shirt-wearin'-cowboy-hat-bandanna-(wig?)-headed animatronic cross between Prince and a Latino Richard Simmons. [see photo] So, long story short, they were fucking great, played "96 Tears" last, did a six-song encore including two new songs (to be released on their upcoming Norton album) and"96 Tears" again, and, as I was finally leaving, some of the band had left the stage to be replaced by Joe King Carrasco who was dueting with Mr. ? on the Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction". It was all I could take. But they are coming back this summer, so you gotta go. I'll definitely be there.

Those Bastard Souls 1.17.98 Emo's

Missed the openers, but I had come expressly to see how this band could pull of what the Grifters' Dave Shouse had created in the studio ot come up with the only release under the name Those Bastard Souls: the fantastic Twentieth Century Chemical. The lineup at this show consisted of Dave Shouse on guitar and the late Jeff Buckley's girlfriend on violin and some other guys. (Sorry about the lineup vagaries -- I can't seem to find the letter that Dave sent me, which is where that info resides.) Anyway, the show was incredible. I am really tempted to give up hope for the rest of the year and proclaim it the best show of '98.

George Jones 1.24.98 Billy Bob's Texas

This was not so much a show as it was a weekend-long Texas experience. My friend, the bluegrass superstar Miss Emily, my boyfriend Cooper, and I left Austin on Saturday morning. Miss Emily is from Nashville and is the biggest country