Mary Emma Jocelyn diary, 1851-1852.

has passed away. But I had at that moment no recollection of her death. She was turned from me and lay perfectly motionless on the sofa and was dressed in deep mourning the somber hue of which contrasted strongly with the delicate whiteness of her neck and face. Mrs. Guernsey was by her side and bending fondly over her. neither of them observed me. My first feeling was that of delight -- we had long been separated now are again near each other, I could see her and in a moment I might embrace her; but with this deep joy there was mingled much sadness. I knew not what it was but the tears [sprang] to my eyes and I could scarcely control my feelings. After a moment's hesitation I stepped eagerly forward as I came near Mrs. Guernsey hastily approached me and whispered, you must be careful for she is very weak; do not talk much to her nor say any thing that may agitate her. Suddenly I became conscious that something dreadful had happened or was going to happen but [illegible] which of us it was connected * could not tell. I was deeply distressed and springing forward I sank beside the sofa on which Sophy was reclining with her sweet face still turned from me and threw my arms up around her as if clinging to her for protection and it seemed as if she could protect me. Yet my sorrow overcame me, I

He too seemed much affected, and perhaps on this account he shortened his stay. After he had gone I seated myself in the large rocking chair where he had been sitting a few moments before, and there sat absorbed in thought for the remainder of the afternoon. I took no notice of the flight of time -- it seemed but a moment when the shadows of evening began to close around me, and I arose and went sadly down to tea. While at the tea-table Cornelius brought in a couple of tickets for the Concert of the Musical Association, which had been politely sent us, accordingly Natty and I attended. It was very fine, but did not close til half-past-ten and I was very much fatigued. Harriet and Caroline spent the afternoon and evening in the city. They with Mr. Murphy reached home at the same time that we did. Tuesday. Very warm and pleasant. Was quiet and thoughtful all day but quite happy in my mind. Thought much about H.-- and could not reconcile myself to the thought that he is not a Christian. He says that he has given up his religious hopes entirely, and has decided to put off this all important subject till a more convenient season. His mind has been weakened by disease temptations have surrounded him and he has yielded to the allurements of the world. But to our Mighty [God?] save, the compassionate Saviour I committed this young friend faith and hope and I trust my earnest petion will be heard & answered.

Kate Hudson and Miss Griffin called early in the afternoon. Mrs Stone, Mrs Prince and Mrs Cummings also called. CAlled on Mary R. as soon as I found an opportunity but did not stay long, it being already later. Kate H. and Miss G. were there when I went in but they soon left Mary and I alone to have a talk. Dear little Mary: what should I do without her. Wednesday. Pleasant. Went out shopping in the morning, also called on Mrs Tucker. Mary Willet called in the afternoon. Wrote to Ellen Seager in the evening. Thursday. Mild. Served in the morning. Mrs Jarvis, Miss Sparks, and mary Reeve called P.M.--Mary and I called on Hannah Wilde. H. Hudson called and accompanied me to Lyceum in the evening. Mr. ?oughton lectured on "High and Low Aims in Life." Friday. Cloudy. Rained in the evening. Wrote to Ellen L. in the afternoon and evening. Natty on his return from N. Y. brought the intelligence that Mr Samuel and Miss Sarah Wilde have this day reached home in safety. Natty and Father attended prayer meeting at their house. Saturday. Very pleasant. Quite busy as usual. Caroline prophisized that H. H. would call in the afternoon though I did not expect it but he came and invited me to attend Ms. Bucher's church with him to-morrow evening. He gave me permission to inform Father of the state of his mind and talked very seriously with me about it.

Sunday March 14th Stormed all day I attended our church twice and S. School as usual In the morning I told Father about Henry. Father preached all day from Mark 10:17-23 The sermons were solemn and appropriate and I was much interested in them Samuel and Sarah Wilde attended church all day Sarah looks very natural but is very fleshy Mr [?] met me with a polite bow in the afternoon Joseph accompanied me home Evening at home Monday Delightful day . Called on Mary R--- in the afternoon Kate H- and Miss G came in, in the course of half an hour Carrie came in soon after We all returned together Samuel Wilde spent the evening at our house He looks the same as formerly and is as talkative as ever He staid till about eleven o'clock I felt quite tired when he left and I must confess I did not enjoy the evening much I cannot respect him and who can respect one whose words are as light as air Whose truth and honour are as nought? - Strange how I was ever blind to faults that now appear so clear and yet even now I can wholly condemn and despise him Strange wayward and complicated being with so many good traits of character and yet with so many of absolute meanness with so many friends and so many enemies; friends whose confidence and affection he is constantly betraying