95

Windsor, Dec. 16th Sat. night, 1837. -

I believe much of my unhappiness arises
from my not joining in company and
enjoying conversation, giving full and clear
expression to my opinions - my feelings; and par-
ticipating in fine humor and intellectual feasts.
And why I am unfortunate in this, is bad health.
When in bad health, I feel no humore - have no im-
agination and feel extremely unlearned and more
ignorant than those who could afford me
grateful Society and joyous pastime, but not
more ignorant, I may well say, than many who
prate foolishness and nonsense about games,
dogs, and horses, and who, thinking me beneath
them, would not deign to be high met, with
and caught arm locked, with me. But when
in health, I feel as it were a being returned
from a sleep of stupor, to life and fresh [illegible]
ation: then it is, I can combat the frowns and
greet the glee of the world - of sneering
g jibes, teasing with - the bustle and busi-
ness of the topsy turvy world man. While unwell
I not only can not talk but can not write:
the reason is I have no thought, which if
I solicit, can not find a channel through which
to reach intellect. In this state I can hardly
sympathise for myself if I can, it is all I can
do: and feeling that none else does for me - I
am miserable. - I feel a little better to night. -

In reference to conversation I had this evenign,
I learn, that a persons should mind how they
make abstract remarks which seeming to shoot
thousands may be thought to shoot an individual
not intruded.