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but both are subjects of grave
anxiety just now –

I have to go up & down fm here

I cannot leave my Baby for
more than one night just now
and altho I am better I am
scarcely well enough for such
work – Once we are settled in
Sydney. I shall be too glad
to go to you for some days rest
Even if I go alone or take one
child & nurse with me!!

But just now you will gather
from this long history that
such a pleasure is not in my
power – I have often felt
very tantalized at being so