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Eventually I am very wide awake in the dark.
And [pink]I recognize that during winter [comment]Like so many other times I felt Apr + Sep can be nice but Oct-Mar are bleak.[/comment] in
Seattle I have to lose myself either
in my work
or by traveling
or by drinking
all of which diminish my ability to have a
lover, let alone one I could live with.[/pink]
Yet if I want a better home, I need
to find a condo, like Creswick, but nicer, OR
a lover so that we can share house duties.

Well I haven't found either, so I'm still
at Creswick, and likely to remain so, since
no condos I haven't seen, AND
[pink]it's hard for me to be social in winter,
so I can't live with anyone, in Seattle
This all seemed so clear.[/pink] IF I want a nicer
home I need to leave Seattle. On the
other hand, maybe I should travel a lot,
so I just don't notice need for better home.
[orange]If I go back to work,[/orange] [pink]presuming I have a
condo or house with lover, then[/pink]
[orange]I must get 4 wks of vacation/year[/orange]
[pink]Lover must be able [comment]money + freedom to go[/comment] to travel with me.[/pink]

5:00 Neighbors quiet for awhile, but then CRAZY,
so move to living room to sleep. Have very
strange half-dreams. Interesting to see
vividness of what I dream probably usually.
Sort of like UBC Codeine dreams.

SUN APR 9 '89

7:30 Get up. Shower. Denny's for pancakes.
[pink]Newspaper says LA was 100° again Saturday
so my first week there would've been a hot one,
had I gotten apartment.[/pink]

Back to room and change.

7:15 Leave. Eatonville is nice.
[pink]Feeling "lack of sleep as a mood," like grass.[/pink]
Quite a long drive, but very scenic.
[pink]I never stayed very long in SF in 84, 85,
often just for one day or two.[/pink]

-----

[blue]Think about Sum '84 + Sum '85 diaries, the
only 2 that preceed new 1986 format.
I won't destroy them if only because each
holds a review of something.[/blue] [pink](But I will continue
to condense 1986 and write something on
issues that are still outstanding like summer
emotional trips, Bill, etc.) These diaries were
probably reviewed for writing "Where to live next"
in Sep-Oct '85, but I should look at them again (more...)[/pink]