Untitled Page 105

Herr and Frau Krauter. She apparently handles the money as part of her housekeeping and
cooking responsibility, but he may either give her a specified amount each week or
may even receive an "allowance" from her. I'm only sure that she has money on hand
for groceries and also more for undetermined uses (she gave some to an aunt who stopped
by, after a discussion in Schwäbisch). Large projects, such as the remodeling of the
dining-sitting rom, are decided jointly. When Herr Krauter arrives home in the evening,
his wife passes on the news of the day - "Fitz has worn through another pair of pants at the
knees;" "the wall-papering man will be here Monday." "the cabinet piece estimate is 650 DM
[$160] and we must see him tomorrow to discuss it." They discuss briefly such news and
defer further details until later. From this series of observations, I would conclude
that they try to decide major matters together, and apparently without consulting the
children.

A second incident illustrates Frau Krauter's tendency to common council in family
policy. She considers her frequent reception of several Stanford students as guests in the house
as a problem, because some of them drink too much wine and she thinks this an
undesirable experience for the children. She is trying to work out a solution which
balances her desire to welcome all students alike and her feeling of responsibility as a
mother. Apparently she has discussed with Herr Krauter and finds him less
concerned with the problem. Her response to this impasse is continued wory, and the
resolution: "I cna't do it alone."

I have observed only one specific area of conflict between Herr + Frau Krauter: she
objects to his drinking as much wine as he does, and frequently complains of it. He in turn
makes mention of the objection to others. This matter is treated lightly, jokingly, by them
both, particularly Herr Krauter, though it seems to be a legitimate issue. Perhaps this
acts for them as an escape value, for as often as it is brought up in public, it cannot
be very disturbing.

One of the most important roles which Frau Krauter sees for herself is that of mother
and counselor to her children. Most of her attention is dictated toward Fitz; Dorothy
is apparently not considered a "problem" anymore, and few parental criticisms are
directed to her. She has one more year of mittelschule [grammar school - 9 grades from age 6]
during which she will learen among other things the basic techniques of cooking and
housekeeping. Frau Krauter has made no great effort to teach Dorothy to cook or bake, and apparently
both consider this the place of the school. Dorothy does help with keeping the house clean,
decorating cakes, going to the store for groceries, and serving guests, but otherwise she has
no noticeable duties to the family. She is reserved and quiet, seeming a conscientious
student. Her relation to her parents is passive, submissive; that is her training is seemingly
completed, she doesn't have to be scolded, and she doesn't seem to attempt to declare and
personal independence, as is so often said of the American teenager.

Fritz, on the other hand, is considered more of a "problem"; at least by his mother. And
this is not seen as a typical case of bringing up children, nor merely as one of the boy
conforming adequately to expected standards of obedience and behavior. Instead Frau
Krauter sees the problem in terms of Fritz's own personality - "he is too 'unruhig' (restless,
turbulent, uneasy)." She sights as further evidence for this condition the concern of the
doctor (who recommends much sleep and certain patterns of diet) and repeated complaints
from Fritz's teachers that he is constantly moving around and disturbing the class.

In light of this view of Fritz, how does Frau Krauter train and discipline him?