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5th. Saturday. Practised & poked round all morning. Afternoon went for a drive with the two gentlemen. Bob drove. He & I have taken quite a fancy to one another : he is a very nice boy. We three went for a stroll down to the river after tea for violets & ferns. We had great fun. I laughed till I was tired. In the evening had a concert 6th. Sunday. Quite a lively day. Church morning. Funeral afternoon. A man at the Siding died yesterday & they asked Mr. G. to read the burial service. We two[underlined] had settled ourselves for a quiet afternoon in the verandah but as W. seemed anxious for us to come out to the cemetery in the buggy with them we went. I thought it just as well to go out as sit at home doing nothing. It was nice out but fearfully dusty. We two[underlined] had a bit of a rift at bed-time over a definition of Love. I shocked Bob quite by saying that I had been in love five or six times : am afraid he must have thought me a big flirt. He didn't like it I know. However I've no business with hangers-on now[underlined]. We made up after church though & created quite a comment here at home. Mr. G. was going to tell Bob's mother on him & Mr. Lake was sorry he had not a licence. we might get it done up at once. I didn't mind tho' & I'm sure Bob didn't. If I like anyone I don't believe in hiding it. Got a surprise too to-night. Yesterday Tom Wilson was talking about Harold Little at the table as I had heard him speak of the same before. it suddenly struck me that it might be the Harold Little I used to know so on asking Tom about him I felt sure it must be. So to-night as I was going out of the church who should stop me but the same young man. He too had often wondered if I was the same he used to know. He said he wondered if I had noticed him often staring at me. We walked slowly home & yarned over old times. He seemed very glad to see me & I felt glad too. Both strangers in a strange land. He was the same youth that came to the Kolan Social with Mrs. James G. Slept with Mary these two nights. Talked till 12 last night. 7th. Monday. Feel stupid & out of sorts to-day. As long as I keep on working I don't feel so bad but holidays don't agree with me. Am afraid I'm on the foolish tack again. 8th. Tuesday. Bob Gellies left this morning for Thornhill : he comes back on Friday or Sat. I shall miss him : he is nice fellow & he & I seem to fall in altogether Felt quite "distraite" all day little fool that I am : 9th. Wednesday. Went up to Mrs. Wilde's this afternoon & stayed to tea & till pretty late after. Young Gibson & Sterling were there & we played eucre & cribbage : I won the latter Heard two astonishing items to-night : that young Jim Walker was in love with me & that the only Mr. Muller thought I was a very nice girl indeed. Cold night. Feel better. 10th. Thursday. Miss Boreham came up to-day to stay for a few days : she looks very thin but seems to be well enough. Felt nasty all day. Mon ami est venu encore & n'y a que quinze jours que je l'ai en. Q'est trop. 11th. Friday. Felt sick all day & was glad & thankful when school was over. Went straight into bed when I came home. Lizzie brought a cup of cocoa & I had my tea in bed. A Miss Saking came up to-night. They had music & singing & I laid in bed & listened. Didn't half like having to make a fuss but I coundn't stay up. Going down to-morrow. Ma anxious about Artie. Wishes she had gone down last Sat. I wrote telling her to go on Monday. 12th. Saturday. At breakfast Mr. Gibson informed me that he was going to preach at Sharon to-morrow if I liked to wait for the buggy at North B. at 1/2-3 to-morrow afternoon I could wait & come by that. Very glad. Will be able to have a good rest home. Went down by train & found Ma gone yesterday. She left a note for me. she was so anxious about Artie. Glad tho. that I'd come to keep Edie company : she would have felt lonely. Rested all afternoon : in bed Feel as weak as if I had been sick for some days. Don't know what has caused it Carrie H. came up to try my body on. She spoilt the collar of my pink blouse

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so I sent it down yesterday to be ready for to-day. Tried my other one too. Grace came up. We went down town at night but was glad to get home & to bed. 13th. Sunday. Church this morning. Anniversary services. Mr Pennington from Maryboro preached a nice sermon. Good congreg. Quite enjoyed being back again. Went over the river & 3.30 after sitting on river bank for a while. Waited there till 10 to 4 for the buggy. Mary G. & Miss Saking were in it. We had a nice drive home & reached about 1/4 to 6. Church at night. Bob G. didn't come home. He must have missed their message 14th. Monday. Katie's birthday yesterday so I got her a little book in town. Mr. Boreham came up this morning & with him Bob & another visitor. We had music to-night. Tells me to-morrow will be his last night. I'm always saying Good-bye to someone I care for. 15th. Tuesday. School till 3-30. At dinner Mr. G. said he would be driving the visitor back to town & would be giving an address at the Church Social to-night & if I liked, I could come too. I did care particularly about going but thought Edie might like to see me again & as there was a particularly eager look on somebody's face who said he would go "if there was room" I made up my mind to go. So we went about 4.15. picked up Mr. Scott from B-g on the road. Had a full buggy. Had a lovely drive down - it was so nice & cool. He begged me to come round to the Social so I promised to be there sometime. They were surprised to see me at home. Stayed till nearly 8.30. singing &c. Then we 3 walked down to the church. I went in & they went back. Heard a few items & came in for refreshments Bob sighted me after Mr. G's speech was over & came at once to the back where I was sitting & we had a nice time to ourselves. I think thought he was my young man. Very enquiring looks were cast my way. Well let them think so : he is not to be ashamed of. Folks very surprised too to see me down. - thought I must have given Bingera best. We had a lovely drive home. Quite romantic. We sat in the back. B sent Tom to the front & we settled ourselves behind & had a good time ~ singing ~ & I think someone knows what something means tho' he said not more than a week ago he didn't. I felt a bit amused too at the way he worked round me ~ if I was free ~ it might be serious for me but I must never forget that I am not my own. Got home at 12.30. Think someone was sorry it was over. 16th. Wednesday. Our "Good-bye". We two had a while to ourselves this morning in the sideverandah. I asked him to put his name in my birthday-book which he did & in return asked me to let him write to him as a friend[3 words underlined]. I never thought it would come to this. Poor boy. He certainly does like me. Well it won't do him any harm & he is a nice fellow. His friendship would be good for me as he is good[underlined] too. A Christian I believe. He seemed to be in a quite a state of emotion judging from his face. He reminded me of someone else at a certain time. Only he will get over it I'm sure. I shall miss him a great deal. More than I ought too. Felt not a bit inclined for school. He kept me till the last minute. Said he had had no sleep all night. I know why. Felt all out of sorts. Youngsters seemed specially trying. Went up to Mrs. Wilde's for tea & afterwards. Don't feel quite unhappy tho'. Didn't think things would have so amicable an ending. Don't know though whether I'll write or not. If they here don't like it I won't. 17th. Thursday. Feel not myself yet. Am going to start school at 1/4 to 9 next week. Leave myself more time afterwards. 18th. Friday. Another week ended thank goodness. Going home in the morning. Mary G. going to town with W. & he will drive back at 8. Good. 19th. Saturday. Went down this morning. Had a long tramp round afternoon. To town toget[sic] a hat at Marsh & other things. Went to Carrie H. She had my dress finished so she brought it home for me. Looks quite nice. I shall be a swell when I get them all on. Picked William up at Blaikie's & had a nice moonlight drive back. Got there at 20 to 11. Wished my boys either of them had been with me. W. was a bit confidential on the road. Bob will be having a gay time of it in Maryboro amongst the girls. He'll be forgetting all about me. He said he'd have stayed a day longer if he had known ~ that I cared I suppose ~ N. Crabtree in M's was very anxious to know if it was "my boy" & Mrs. Hussey was quite interested in the nice-looking young man I had the other night.

Last edit 2 months ago by Taase
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20th. Sunday. Church this morning. Two young men came up last night here. evidently they were unwelcome. It is[underlined] a nuisance having their Sunday broken into by strangers. They went away after tea in the evening. Church at night. Feel [?heishe] a bit to-night. Always am after Sunday. Ma wrote yesterday saying that Art. was better but his head was still bad. May have a consultation. Doesn't know when she'll be home. I wrote yesterday. 21st. Monday. School. Hate school on Mondays. 22nd. Tuesday. Letter from Herbert. Thought I should get one this week. He does not seem to have seen Arthur yet. Wonder who played bagatelle at night. This night week[sentence underlined]. Seem to miss him a lot. I must be foolish. He will get home to-night wonder if he remembers 23rd. Wednesday. Mrs John G. wanted us to go over there to-night but as noone felt inclined we didn't go. Norman Menzies came up so we entertained him with singing &c. Are going to organise a Quartette & Glee party of musical folk soon. M. & I seem to be falling in more now. 24th. Thursday. Wondering if I shall get my promised letter this week. Perhaps he'll forget. 25th. Friday. Last day - thank goodness. The thought of the Xmas holidays makes me glad. My letter[2 words underlined] came to-night. It was dated the 24th (yesterday : A nice letter - just like himself. He seems certainly in earnest. Don't know what I'll do. Anyway my conscience is clear on the point of encouragement. I didn't do anything in that way. I just treated him in a frank, friendly fashion but he evidently takes matters seriously. Mr. Gibson is[underlined] deep. He says "He did lead me on a nice dance when I went to say good-bye to him that morning. I was glad you were not around". He only told me a bit of what occurred I could imagine the rest. I can't forget my own dear Laddie. I shall never love anyone as I love him & I shall never get any one to love me as he does that's certain. Still if Ma & all of them are against it what can I do. I know I esteem highly in this instance but don't love. He does me I am certain of that. More's the pity. Anyway he would be a true friend & he's a Christian I'm sure of that. So I'll just leave things in the Lord's hands. He knows best. He knows I want to do what's right 26th. Saturday. No home for me to-day. No letter from Ma either. Can't make it out. Nor none from Edie. We 3 were going over to Franklin's across the river this afternoon but Mr. & Mrs. Ellison were coming up to stay over to-morrow so we couldn't go .. Had a terrible headache all day. 27th. Sunday. Church. Had to play. Mary sick. Wore my new [?toffery]". everyone likes it Went to Sharon this afternoon with Mr. Ellison. Was glad of the outing. Church at night. Played. Feel homesick again. Dreamt night before last of my Laddie. The first time I have. Thought he knew all & was so sad & I couldn't comfort him. My darling boy. I want none but him if things would be straight & right. 28th. Monday. School seems always hateful on Mondays. Am looking forward now to Xmas holidays. M. & I went over to the Mill to meet Miss Beatson the dressmaker who is coming up here to sew. We saw Mr. Müller & I was quite offended at him - he didn't know me. Maybe I've got so fat since he last saw me .. Letter from Ma .. Art. is still mending. Doesn't know when they're coming home. 29th. Tuesday. ~ Wrote to Ma. Home at night 30th. Wednesday. Off early this after. Bathed & practised. Wish I didn't feel such dislike to my duties. 1st. October Thursday. Miss Workman & her aunt came up this afternoon to stay till Sat. morning. We had great time over the 'fortune' board & a ring on hair - suspended. My initial taps on the glass were 2. G. the ring fell into the water at 2. Very ominous. must have meant R. Couldn't get it to move after. am to be settled in 3 or 4 years according to the board & to have 4. We all went over to the Mill & looked over it 2nd. Friday. Last day - Bliss - went down to the river-bank to sit yesterday afternoon & this evening. & Mary is chaffing me - says I must be in love - It is lovely down there. Hoped to go home to-morrow but the 2 relations that were to come to* My goodness. Forgot the chief thing. Sir Samuel Griffith honoured us with his presence at tea to-night. He & Mr. Graham his associate. Felt all queer especially as Mrs. G. & Mary went to the Flower Show this morning. Mrs Wilde came to the rescue however & Mr. W. so with them present I didn't feel so bad

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Sir S. was not a bit stiff. Indeed seemed very homely. Things went very smoothly. Will G. drove them back to town. He wanted me to come down with him but I didn't like to in that company. Anyway Aleck G. was going to meet his sister so it didn't matter. Would have rather liked the drive too many came back at tea-time. Mrs. G. stayed till to-morrow. Brought back the sad news that Mrs. Pollven died this morning. Poor thing & she was to take an active part in the Show to-day. Only ill a week of inflam. of the lungs. It will be a shock to everybody. All the home is in gloom over it. In the midst of life &c. came to-night. Will would have driven down if he had had the ponies but Mr. G. took them to Watana. he won't drive Prince. Don't wonder - after last time. Feel disappointed. Mrs. G. & children going down - must send word by them to Edie. Mrs. William G. invited us 4 up to-night so we went. Had nice evening. Harold T. there - had bit of a yarn coming home : He is leaving at Xmas. Says he ought to have come up to see me but ~ I know he meant didn't like to - I nearly offended him Fortunes again to-night. My ring wouldn't budge an inch so my fate must be settled at 2. G. Am loved by C. T. H. W. is going to propose - I love A. W. whoever he is - & am to marry 2. G. Quite serious. 3rd. Saturday. We 3 - M. Miss Beatson & I only ones at home M. & I read our fortunes again. I wished - that I might be settled in 3 years or so & it came out. Seriouser. Wrote to Bob. In just the same strain which I used to talk to him. Parcel from Edie containing letter from Ma. They expect to come home next week. Went over to Mrs. James's. We 3. W. M. & I. to spend the evening. What a host there is there. 4th. Sunday. Church this morning. Read bit this afternoon & went for walk down to river-bank with the children. Home at night. Gave Mr. Wilde B's letter to post [...] him. 5th. Monday. School. Hate it on Mondays more than ever. We sang to-night - M & I. 6th. Tuesday. Sad night for me. When I came home this aft : & got dressed Mrs W. came to my room & asked if I had heard from home lately. I said not since Sat. Said she. Didn't you hear anything about Rock. "Your brothers little boy is dead & buried." Jack Dawson telephoned up to tell me & a letter would come for me to-night. I felt completely stunned. Jack - dear little Jack - that lovely boy - Gone - dead - buried I could not realise it. My poor poor Alfie. May God help you for it will crush you. I felt it almost as much as if he was my own. I went up with Mrs. W. Then came back to get my letter. from Edie with a telegram inside. Diptheria - poor little dear. He went on Sunday night. Ivy's birthday. My heart bleeds thinking of poor Alfie & Alice too but Alfie - his idol - the joy & pride of his life. Maybe he made an idol of him & the Lord took him away or perhaps as he was such a peculiar child he was taken from the evil to come. I stole away to my room as soon as I got a chance - the two old ladies were here & I had to play a bit for them. Wrote as comforting a letter as I could to both of them. 7th. Wednesday. Sad all day. Long for home & some one to talk to about it. Must try & ride down on Sat. Tom Wilson & Archie Sterling could come with me all the way. was going out for ride to-day but felt not inclined & then was not well. 8th. Thursday. Went to-night. Miss Beatson & I up to Mrs. W.'s William came up too after a while. Letter from Mr. Benbow last night advising me to see Mr. Harrap. He would be in town to-day examining P.S. candidates. I can't go down that's certain through the week. but Tom W. says he'll be here at S. Kolan to-morrow so I'll ride out to see him. 9th. Friday. Telephone message for me to-day that Brother was coming from Brisbane Mrs. John [...] going to Rockn. Monday. Good. I'll stay till Monday morning & get Art W ride back with me. Edie will be delighted to get away at last. Went out with the two boys to S.K. this afternoon. after 5. Saw Mr. Harrap. He seems a nice man. Told me to come out on Thursday next. I rode Bob that the children ride & he is rough & a mouth as hard as iron but he's quiet. I got rather sore too worse luck. Going to bed early to prepare for to-morrow.

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10th. Saturday. The two boys were up at some unearthly hour this morning 1/2-3. I think we left at 5. just light. Thet wanted to hurry .. I would have given anything to have gone slow. We got to the ferry 25-7 town time. I made the boys come home with me & have some breakfast. Was disappointed - No Artie. Twas a mistake message. should have been "Mother coming" Art not fit to leave B. yet. Coming later on. Anyway was only too glad to see my little Mother again. She does not look too well either. Worry I suppose & not much rest. Edie busy packing up. Boat goes off Heads to-morrow. She goes by that & her luggage via Brisbane. Feel sore & stiff 11th. Sunday. Up early this morning. Went down to Shipping Office at 1/2-7. Conveyance left at 8. Edie seems quite glad to go at last. She must have been very lonely here for a whole month. poor girl. I rested all day. Ma & I went out at night to church. Got Marsh's little boy to come all the way with me to-morrow. Must up early. Poor Alf & Alice have sad hearts to-day. Looking at dear little Jack's photo makes one's heart ache. No word from them. Don't know how they are. 12th. Monday. Up at 4 this morning. Went round to Nelson's & got the old man to saddle Bob up. Ma walked with me to the Ferry. Waited there for my boy but saw none. Then went over the ferry & found him on the other side waiting for me. We walked nearly all the way up - got home little over 3 hrs. I was very sore indeed. Couldn't bear the sight of a chair. Felt very tired & out of sorts too. Retiring early. Mr. Beasley's entert. to-night but I stayed home. Trying to study for old Harrap on Thursday but can't. 13th. Tuesday. Still 'tis sad to have to sit down. Never thought I could feel so. Mr. Ellison here for service to-night. I went not. No pleasure in sitting down. Wrote to Ma. 14th. Wednesday. Wrote to Mr. Harrap telling him I couldn't come out to-morrow. He wants me there at 9.30. & that's impossible. Feel a weight off my mind now. We three went up to Mrs. W's. after tea. They got news to-day that Mary Sterling - Mrs. White was dead. Poor thing. A short & unsatisfactory married life. a martyr to Bright's disease Her mother will feel it a lot : hereldest[sic] & she only one she has ever lost. In that far away place too. it is sad to die so so far away. Miss Beatson told me she was 26 to-day - older than I am & I'm sure I thought her 3 years younger. 15th Thursday. Another letter this afternoon from Bob G. He evidently takes things in a seriously serious light. Wish he wouldn't. Anyway my conscience is clear. I did nothing God knows to encourage him or implant any such ideas in his mind. I thought what I used to say to him & the way I treated Him altogether was sufficient to shock him but it seems it has done the opposite. Poor me - I am[underlined] in a dilemma. Shall take the letter to Ma next time I go Home & ask her advice. I don't know what to say to him. Suppose I should not have allowed him to write - & yet - if my own wishes are not to granted me in the only way I care about - I might do worse - he is a good fellow - I'm sure - but then - so much younger than I - Perhaps he'll get over it but he seems too serious & in earnest over it to please me. Must pray over it 16th. Friday. School. Going home in the morn. Shall stay till Monday morning's cane-train. 17th. Saturday. Went down by this morning's train. The dear little Mother gladdened thereby. was gone up to see them at S.B. but felt not inclined. We went down the city at night. Telegram from Art. He's leaving per Yaralla to-day Will be here to-morrow sometime. Ma & I had good old yarn about my affair[underlined]. Showed her my first[underlined] letter. Not the 2nd. I feel rather worried over it all. Don't know what to do .. She doesn't. 18th. Sunday. Church morning. Went to S.B. to see the folks there. Janet looks well. Will went down & heard that steamer was not expected till 1/2-5. We went down afterwards for Art. & we went home & waited. They came about 1/2-7. Art. looks very flushed & does not seem like his old self. Poor chap. He is a tender-hearted creature. Thoughts of to-morrow weigh on my mind.

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