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home we came across Mr. Overend. Don't think he knew us. Had singing lesson & soup at night. Got into disgrace to-day - we two through staying too long before dinner. Felt bit bad over it. 11th. Thursday. Studied good bit to-day. C. & Mrs. T. went over to Eagle Farm this afternoon & brought back Rose & Poppet. They are going with us down to Sea Beach to-morrow. C. has tarred & painted the boat. He was not home till late. We had very nice dance after tea & singing. Enjoyed it very much. He says he's proud of me. Mrs. T. told Rose today. 12th. Friday. Great day of hairbreath escapes. Certainly believe that but for God's Providence we would have been drowned. We landed at Sea Beach side first & went for a stroll along the beach. Then got into the boat to come over to Wyndham's but there were too many in the bow of the boat (Edie had shifted there from beside me) & she dipped terribly & went on just like a cockle-shell. I thought every moment we should be swamped. However when C. could manage to turn the boat (we were drifting out to sea every minute) we put back again & Edie got into her to her own place beside me & we got over safely. I got such a scare. We had a nice day. Edie & Rose went with Miss Wyndham to her farm "we two" stayed behind & amused each other. I sat in the boat & talked to him while he cleaned it. We gathered black apples & lemons & started home about 1/4-5. Things went all right till we got nearly home excepting that the boat kept on dipping about time we moved a finger. It was dark too tho' starlight. As we crossing the shallows we ran aground. We were scared & were nearly upset. It was dark & shadowy too & we were trying toavoid[sic] the rocks. However C. had to get out & push her off & we got clear again & reached land safely & home at 8 o'clock much to our relief. It was a very risky thing altogether 4 of us going in that small boat. God was very watchful us today I'm sure. Lovely time "we two" afterwards. My own darling boy. Memorable day. Going into town Edie & I tomorrow. 13th. Saturday. went down to the boat with Charlie for a walk this morning. were away about 2 hrs. Said "Good-bye" to each other there. Got ready for town & left at night. Got my broach-pin in ~ Meanwhile we listened to the [...] a bit & then went to the Reading Room. There saw Rosie D. She had notgone[sic] home yet Going to-morrow by Emily May. Very cold to-night. Got my parcel with blouse & skirt in at Nina's. 14th. Sunday. Very cold. went to church twice. After morning service Blair H. came rushing after us & greeted us most effusively. Quite overwhelmed we went over to Bareen Pt after dinner for walk then church at night. Good congreg. An officer off the Man of War in the Harbour conducted the service. It was very nice. The singing was nice too. we went into Gibson's girls for a while after tea. I wished my boy had been with me to-day. 15th. Monday. Dreadful day to both of us. Nina & I went for walk on to the Jetty. Every view from there There is no prittier view anywhere I've seen. Then we met Edie at Friend's. She had 4 letters for me ~ 1 from Alf ~1 - Jim ~ & 2 from Ma. I was really stunned on reading Ma's & Jim's. Poor Ma. She is in a terrible way & Jim !!! Well I think he must have taken leave of his senses. Wants to break off the marriage now[double underline]. because he thinks there is something wrong with him & Edie's married life would be a disappointment. Thinks it's dishonourable. Good gracious! It's ten thousand times more dishonourable togo[sic] & spoil her[underlined] life - his own ~ for he would go to destruction. Mine ~ for I never could look any of them in the face again & - maybe ~ Charlie's - if he is so very much attached to me. And all of them & us it would cast a shadow over. We both wrote to him plainly - very plainly about it. Poor Edie. She too had a most dismal letter. It made her heart-broken. We took a ride out to the cemetery after posting our letters Intended going to Levy's but there was time. Went & saw Mrs. Wanmer. She gave me 27/- ~ rent ~ Went after tea to see Mrs. Hetherington. Didn't feel a bit like going - didn't want to see anyone but we had promised. 16th. Tuesday. Neither of us slept much last night. Poor Edie. She cried all night. I went over early as possible to the Telegraph Office & sent a tel. to Ma to know if Jim was better. While there got a tel. about Gibson's. They want to see me as soon as possible to arrange before midwinter. I can't go now before Tuesday. Got fright Thought it was about Jim. Waited in till 4 o'clock to see if my answer would come but as none came we went on home. Didn't get home till nearly 8 o'clock. but it was slightly moonlight. The road seemed terrible long. Ma said Joe had gone up to [?Wawoon] to work at Skyring's new mill Boyne River. Too dark coming along to see if he was anywhere about. Rosie & Poppet still here. Had a cry to-night but was comforted by my own dear comforter. The thought of having anything coming to remove him[underlined] from me seems terrible 17th. Wednesday. Threatening rain. Poor Edie cried all day & I stayed with her all I could & comforted her. We went for a walk in the afternoon but had to come back for the rain. C. wanted to know very much what made me cry last night & made me so sad but I told I couldn't tell him now - might have to some day, if it parted us. Postman brought me the answer to our telegram. "No improvement Letter by coach". 18th. Thursday. Raining. Charlie went into town to-day for letter. Got one for me from Ma. She does not seem well. Wishes I was home. Thinks I can do more for Jim than anyone. Enclosed note from Miss Gibson. They want me

to come up as soon as possible. Wish I could go home to-morrow. Long long day to me. What will I be like away from him altogether. 19th. Friday. Raining all day. Miserable day. Would be nice if everyone was happy. Studied as much as I could. 20th. Saturday. Lovely bright day. Rose went home in the buggy & Edie & I went too. Said "Good-bye" to Sarah. Mrs. Mann wasn't there. I said nothing.. I told her why[underlined] I was home that was all. Is going to be cold. Mrs. T. said something at tea to-night that hurt me very much. Said she would live with any of her daughters in preference to her son. "Your son's your son till he gets a wife". Well. she knows that I would be only too willing to treat her like a mother if she would receive me as a daughter & treat me like Rose or Edith. She has been very strange to me lately. Don't know why 21st. Sunday. Very cold. We two went for a long walk this morning I made a goose of myself first thing this morning but he ~ my precious comforter ~ soon made me feel better. I had not much sleep last night - thinking ~ I wish Mrs T. would say straight out what it is that makes her so strange to me. She was nice to me at first I would never[underlined] come here if I thought I was not welcome. Perhaps she thinks now that I would not be a fit wife for her son. We went on the hill overlooking Paradise. I talked things plainly to him but he ~ dear fellow wouldnot[sic] see things in the same light. We had another walk in the afternoon over to "our tree" It does stand out clearly now Singing at night. My darling Laddie. What shall[underlined] I do without him. Life would be a blank to me if he were to go out of it. 22nd. Monday. My boy away all day. I think he feels the coming parting as much as I do.. Our Good-bye this morning was a foretaste of what the final will be. Edie & I went for a ride over to try & see Joe at 8 mile. We couldn't get started till nearly 4. We couldn't find anyone. saw some man working in the distance. but as it was getting late We couldn't stay any longer. Had a very nice ride. My last. Dear old Lucy. I wish I could take her with me. C. did not come home till late but we had a nice time to ourselves afterwards. He wanted badly to have a dance but Edie wouldn't play. Poor girl. She seemed brighter to-day. My boy brought me a bit of his hair this morning. It's in my birthday book with his name in : I wrote my name in his & put a violet & forget-me-not in it. Must be up at 3 in the morning. Got all my things packed. Very cold. 23rd. Tuesday. Did not undress last night. Slept in fits & starts till 3. then got up. Had breakfast. Then my boy & I had our last time together ~ for ~ I wonder when ~ He seemed to feel it agood[sic] deal. So do I God knows but I kept up for his sake. We promised to look at our souveniers every night (I gave him a bit of my hair) & remember each other in our prayers. My own precious Laddie. God bless him. He has been a blessing to me & such a comfort to me through all this time. What shall I do without him. I have to write to him in a fortnight's time. We went down to the road at 5. He asked me if I was game to kiss him down at the coach. I said "yes" & I did[underlined]. It was dark & cold for long enough. but warmed gradually. We had breakfast at Dalton's. At Miriam Vale I sent a telegram. Had a theatrical young man for companion & a half-cast & Tommy[underlined]. Felt the journey terribly long Got to Rosedale about 7. The girl there saw me down to the train & Mr. Charles hasn't gone yet. He spoke to me at the train for a minute. The teacher is not yet appointed. They still think I am coming there. Felt so dreadfully tired. Didn't get home till 11. Jim met me. Thought everything was right. 24th. Wednesday. Most miserable wretched & unhappy day I ever spent in my life & I hope & pray I may never spend another like it. Ma said something before she went to sleep that keep[sic] me awake a good part of the night. Got up as soon as possible. Oh the terrible awakening. I knew it would come. My own darling. To think it has come to this. ~ what I most feared. Poor darling Edith too. I cried & cried for hours. Jim seems so determined & persistent over it too. I talked & talked to him till I was sick. Poor fellow. It makes my heart ache to see him & think of what he must have gone through & suffers still. But I tell him it is[underlined] a delusion & he will wake up bye & bye when it is too late & I tremble for the consequences then but he thinks his is doing right I told him all that Edie suffered & what she will suffer still when she gets his other letter to-day. He wrote to her again in the same strain. He had left Knockroe for good. Foolish fellow. I prayed to die this morning in my utter despair. For the first time in my life I lost Hope & it is a terrible state to be in. I don't wonder people with no real fear of God before their eyes commit suicide in that state of mind. Poor Ma. She frets too to see me but I can't help it. Oh the Heavens do seem as brass & God has forsaken us. Kept with Jim all day & he seemed bit brighter to-night. Perhaps I may influence him. 25. Thursday. Talked some more to Jim. Got him persuaded to go up to H. on Friday anyway & see them. He ought. It's his duty. I had to go to Bingera to-day & see Gibson's. Left at 2. Got up there safely. Had to ride over on the engine. They were very kind. Mr G. was just leaving for town when I got there. Don't suppose I shall see him. Mrs. John G. has changed her mind. Must see her to-morrow. Mr. Ellison came in after service. I wanted him to drive me up & back again to-day but he couldn't. 26th. Friday. Went round this morning & saw Mr. James & Mrs. John G. with Mrs. Angus. Mrs. John said they misunderstood her. She wants her children taught State School routine. I said I taught no other

so we soon settled that. Did not settle about the salary. They are to let me know that. So far so good Was in a hurry to catch the train so set off walking. Didn't bother anyone to take me down. Got there in time & came home at 12. Saw by Ma's face that all was not right. He want[sic] back to the same old state after I left. & doesn't want to do anything now. Seems as if he was afraid to meet them. I felt awful again. Told him it looked cowardly - not giving the people a fair chance of saying anything or giving their opinion. Got quite put out with him & said I wished I was dead. That settled the matter & he jumped up & started to pack up. I flew round & got Ma some things together & their tea. Willie came up & Ivy & he went with them down to the train. Fearful hurry but I am so thankful he has gone. 27th Saturday. Ivy here nearly all day. I tidied up &c. Didn't go out anywhere. Thinking about their reception. 28th. Sunday. Didn't go to church all day. Went up to Grace for dinner. then went to see Will instead of going to S.S. Feel better for going out. Didn't feel inclined to meet anyone but came across Mrs. Ellison coming home. She followed us home & wanted me to come for tea but I didn't want to. Will go on Tuesday instead. Wonder how they are getting on. Whether they are at Christie's or Heidelberg. Well they need not fight. Don't think they will with Ma there. Willie says it will make no difference to him with them whether they ever get married or not. But not so with me. Mrs. T. would never forgive us. I thought of last Sunday & our lovely walks together. My boy! I feel that he is almost lost to me now. 29th. Monday. Young Alf's birthday. 10th. Ivy went home after dinner. Studied a bit. Went over to Mrs. Reddan's at night. Don't know what to say to the people when they ask me about the wedding 30th. Tuesday. Waited all day for telegram but none came. Mr. Marsh came up at dinner with a letter from Mr. Gibson. He offers £60. 12/- wk board. Music taught after school. Wonder whether music & all is included in the £60. Gracious! I'd have precious little left. But then as there are so many advantages perhaps I had better take it. Mr. M. said "It would be a living & no more". True. Eunine Skyring & Miss S. came up this afternoon. Ivy said they told her on Saturday she would be up. She does look blooming. I'm going down on Thursday to see her. Went round to Mrs. Ellison's for tea. Old Mr. & Mrs. Sandevin there. Went down with Mrs. C. to Teachers' meeting. That passed away the time for Ivy & I till 1/4-10. We had to wait then from that till 1/2-11 but noone came. Cold 1st. July. Wednesday. Very cold morning. Grace & children up. No letter from Ma to-day. Can't make it out. It must have missed the coach surely. Feel quite anxious. Studied bit. 2nd. Thursday. Wrote to Mr. G. yesterday asking him if music was included in the £60.. Ivy & I went down to Skyring's. This afternoon. The baby is a fine youngster. fat & good-tempered. Like Jack too. I washed this morning. Had to do something to take my mind off other things. 3rd. Friday. No telegram again today. We went down to Limelight behind Mr. Bowes at the Church. Very cold. After we got home Ivy & I went down to the train again thinking perhaps Ma might[underlined] be there but no one was. Perhaps there's letter to-morrow. Very busy to-day. Wrote to my boy. A hurried one too as Janet had been here. then Mrs. Reddan & her sister. Anyway I promised him Letter from Mr G. It includes everything. Mean old thing. Perhaps I may get other music pupils there. Anyway I'll try it for 6 months. 4th. Saturday. Sent Ivy down this morning early to see if a letter was there. There was one from Ma. Detained as I thought. written on Monday. She was fearfully sick going up. Jim was frightened. When she wrote she felt grand & ate well. She doesn't know yet how things are. The two[2 words underlined] are always together & she hopes all is right. She hasn't asked any questions. Do pray that it may be. If I had got her letter sooner should have sent a parcel on with her dress & Jim's clother in. Sent a telegram c/o Nina M. Hope she has the sense to give it to John to take out. Went to practise at church. 5th. Sunday. Church twice & played. Home all afternoon thinking of him[underlined] & all of them. They will be at church to-day. Wonder if he too is thinking of the last time there was church there. Went up to T. B in afternoon. Bertie's birthday - 3rd. - 6th Monday. Busy writing all morning. Letters to Alf & Art. Just as I had finished Lottie's lesson (about 6) there came a telegram. Was almost afraid to read it. It ran "marriage takes place Saturday 11th. Parties bound for Rockn.", was quite overjoyed. I never never expected it would come at last - at least not lately ~ Ma must have sent it in by mailman. Ivy & I nearly stood on our heads with delight. I thank God. 7th. Tuesday. Awful busy day. Writing letters to McCann, postmaster & getting the parcel ready to send. Mr. Marsh came in after dinner wanting to know if I had decided going to Bingera & when[underlined]. It seems they want to give me a Social this[underlined] Friday but I asked him to put it off till next Friday[2 words underlined] : He said he would do

the parcel up for me & would send his boy up for it. So I had to trot down & get shirt & collar for Jim. Went to Robinson's too & got him set of gold studs. 30/- !!!. But they are pretty & good. Sent them by post. Hope they reach him safely. Then had to wait an endless time for that boy. At last he came & Mr. M. did up the parcel beautifully in canvas - it was[underlined] a size. addressed it in monster letters & a card on for McCann. It had to go by railway. Do hope it goes to-morrow. I have done my best however - sent an "Urgent" lettter to P.M. with an "Urgent" to McCann inside asking him to send it on by the coach to-morrow. Had to fly home - too late for Rosie C's lesson. Went up to Benbow's for lesson. Then to Grace's for tea. Mr. M. called for us to go to teacher's meeting. 8th. Wednesday. Feel quite tired after yesterday's excitement. Am hoping that parcel went right. Letter from Ma but none from C. Felt rather disappointed. However it soon cleared away. He will get mine to-day. Ma seems quite happy. They[Underlined] are to be married at 12 o'clock on Saturday. Then go to catch Cecily May on Tuesday for Rockn. They rode into town on Saturday last to see Mr. Byron. Studied this afternoon. Hot these last few days. Rained last night 9th. Thursday. Lovely day but freezing cold this afternoon. Went down at 2-4 had my photo book - in my pink evening blouse. Don't know how it will turn out as I must have spoilt the first proof by shifting. Studying all afternoon. Never felt more cold in the daytime. 10th. Friday. Grace up helping me. Did washing & cleaned the kitchen. Must finish cleaning to-morrow & iron on Monday then all will be nice for Ma coming home on Tuesday. Mr. & Mrs. Ellison called. Made me promise to come out to practice. Went. Very cold. Ice & lots of frost this morning. 11th. Saturday. Our[underlined] wedding day - I suppose I would have liked to have been there but was in spirit if not in body - Got great joy this morning by letter from my own dear boy. Didn't know who it is was from at first with the Rosedale post mark. The dear chap had written in on Thursday night & posted it by coach yesterday morning - that freezing morning. It was just his dear loving self all over - the letter - A loving tender comforting message to me. Bless him. Thank God for giving me such a gift as love like his. Jim thinks he'll change but he says "time will show which is right Jim or he". Had a service of my own from 12 to 1. Played the Wedding March twice & asked for God's blessing to rest upon them went down home after Edie's lesson. Sent congratulatory telegram. My proofs won't be ready till Monday. Bright day & happy one for me. God has been good to me this week : "He brought me up also out of a fearful pit out of the miry clay & set my feet upon a rock & established my goings. He put a new song in my mouth even praise unto our God." I won 12th. Sunday. Raining. Didn't go to church this morning. Went up to G's for dinner. Then to S.S. Church at night. Invitations going round for "My Social" on Friday night. Going up to Young's for tea on Tuesday night. Mr. Prescott from Burwood College N.S.W. preached a beautiful sermon to-night 13th. Monday. Ironing & baking & cleaning round in general. Studying some. 14th. Tuesday. Got things is apple-pie order. Mr. Benbow sent Ivy down at dinner-time to say that Mr. Harrap was in town & I had better see him. Got ready & went down to Club Hotel but he wasn't there then to Metrop. & to Royal but not there so I didn't bother. Lea Callaghan overtook me & came home with me. Stayed till I was going up to Y's. Got there after 5. Had nice evening till 10. Then Will called for me & took me home & went down to meet Ma at 11. But the old train didn't come in till 12. - delayed - Ma arrived safely. & looks well. Felt very tired & sleepy. Can't go to Benbow's till Thursday 15th. Wednesday. Talked last night till after 2. Things went in all serene. It must have been a nice service & a pretty wedding. Would like to have been there but then - If I havn't come home it would never have come off at all. Feel so happy & full of thankfulness & gratitude to Him who has brought us through darkness into light. I shall never forget that part of my life. C. didn't say anything to her any more than asking if he might come down & see me. Manns know all about it. Worse luck! I wouldn't have had them know for a great deal. Rose told John & of course he tole them[underlined] & a nice kettle of fish they'll make of it. Talked & poked about all day. Of course she doesn't think he's good enough for me. 16th. Thursday. Went up to S.B. this afternoon. To Benton's & then to Will's for tea. After playing a bit with the youngsters went down to Club Hotel again for old Harrap & to Queen's but he wasn't in town. Won't bother any more. 17th. Friday. Nice happy day. Just poked round all morning. Mrs. Reddan called & Mrs. Christoe. After lessons went round to Mrs. McCarthy's. She's very sorry I'm going. Then down town & home. Then out to Social. Quite a Surprise party. Lots there. Good tea after it came quite a shock for me. A presentation of a very pretty address & a lovely silver watch & chain with my name & date engraved on the inside. such a dear little watch & the very thing I've been wanting & thinking