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expired when I read it 'My own darling F.' - a most sentimental style for H - the first time he ever addressed me thusly - a loving letter throughout - to think Mr. G. should have landed on that[underlined] one. It was too funny. I showed the top to M - she smells a rat pretty strongly already - 'raised her brows' - "looks very serious Miss "quoth she - strikes me you are further in than you say." I'll catch it now from Mr. G. won't hear the end of it now. Wrote to H. & told him [inserted next?]should have got it Sat. 21st. Tuesday. Wrote to Alf telling him too - so now I've made a clean breast Big party & W. Gs. 'in honour of W. & Maud. D's engagement' W's birthday 25th only young folks there. We [down side] stayed till nearly 2.! In "Public Opinions" M. D. told someone to ask me about a young man on the Central platform 22nd. Wednesday. Very hot this week. Feel rather nasty too off & on Lillie the black girl left for her islands so they got a little girl from the cottages & my bed had to be taken out for Polly & I have hers - a single - seems so cramped & hot - but must get used to it until I get W's room. Another letter from H. Mr. G could have read that[underlined] with pleasure - nothing sentimental in it 23rd. Thursday. Going home Saturday. Will stay till Monday if fine. 24th. Friday. Busy day. getting things square for tomorrow. Letter from Jim S. real warmhearted letter. 25th. Saturday. Went down this morning. Willie G. too going to Maryb. & [?Maff] G. Ma there to meet me. went straight home. Down town this afternoon with Ma & Ivy. The little mother seems to enter into my little affair now with an interest that astonishes herself. She wrote to me this week about H's coming up at Easter - said she believed Janet would be laid up then but I suggested that we take the house at the coast again - just our 3 selves & little Alf. it would be lovely - we could go down again at midwinter. Told J. about me - she seemed pleased. Grace knows .. It looks fine so I'll stay on till Monday 26th. Sunday. Will came home by midnight train last night. I rested till after breakfast. Had a nice quiet day. Went not to church. - young man brought a message this morning that Willie G. (Aleck) would be going out at 1/2-3 if I liked to go but I'll stay till morning now. Went up to Grace's in the afternoon. Early to bed. Lovely to be under the little mother's care again 27th. Monday. Up at 3.30 this morning - got up at station at 10 to 5 - just 10 to wait. Lovely moonlight coming along - the moon was full on Thursday night - this one was just pale gold - such a clear sky & a lovely star in the east. I'll never forget it - it was like fairyland. The sun didn't rise till we reached the station. Waited for a while but nothing came in sight so started to walk. met the engine coming down when about Half way so sat down to wait for it. Didn't feel tired all day - think the early exercise did me good. Letter from H. when I got back - enclosed was a combined congratulatory one from home. Ella, Amy Irene Percy & Arthur - such flattering things I could have called them only knowing they meant all they said - I'm warmly welcomed certainly he had one each from Mr. & Mrs. W too - says the maker's is particularly nice. Mr. W. little dreamed when he saw me an hour old that I was destined to become his daughter-in-law. Wrote to him this afternoon had to send back the enclosures. 28th. Tuesday. Mr. & Mrs G. left this morning for Brisbane - will be away a fortnight or so - we'll be all alone in our glory - M.W. & I. & End of Feb. Joy!!! 1st. March. Wednesday. Letter from H. His letters do cheer me. These kids are getting nearly unbearable - May especially - shall have to have a settling directly Am not going to be worried so - perhaps I'd be too happy if there wasn't some-[underlined] thing[underlined] - it may be best - Must pray for patience & wisdom 2nd. Thursday. Told M. on Tuesday night - she might think it strange my keeping it back - she can't understand my wishing to keep it a secret - but had to impress it upon her - Feel more relieved now tho' we can talk more freely 3rd. Friday. Last day - glad when [?evneh] week ends - what a long wearisome time to look forward to - more than 9 months - am getting tired of this gr[...]ping -
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4th. Saturday. Studied all morning. Over to Library this afternoon .. Jean P. & [?Mobva] G. came back for tea & the evening. Dave came up by train bringing young Furnes. & another chap - also Arthur W. We had some fun - "Cat was away" it was easily soon. Letter from my dear old boy. Letter from Ma yesterday enclosing one from Arthur - from Brisbane. He's down there on business H. says he saw him - they discussed me - Art. would be surprised. Ma told him. All the less for me to do now. Wonder how Art liked it. 5th. Tuesday. church this morning. Rained some - all afternoon too - read my boy's letters & sermons. W. & I stayed in at night & kept each other company. Nice day rather. Everyone so free when the master of the house is away 6th. Monday. Another day with a rather miserable outlook but turned out better than I expected. Kate & Els. didn't come home till 3 with Mrs Boreham & Frank. The other girls & I had some quiet talks - I'll have to humour May a bit - she's all right at heart I think only has an idea that I don't like her & snub her - she's jealous - Wrote to H. 7th. Tuesday. Feel rather nasty - have got a chill again somehow - felt cold yesterday & wouldn's put on anything warm - serves me right. Letter from H. tonight - good old chap - his letters cheer me somehow - don't know what I'd do now without them - Says he saw Arthur away on the boat on Saturday Wants me to say what sorts of stones I'd like for a ring - he's going to get one made & bring it up with him at Easter - will have 3 stones - centre ruby & 2 diamonds or sapphire & vice versa - just what I was thinking. Believe I'll have a centre ruby & 2 diamonds. 8th. Wednesday. M. went down this morning to go to the party & Davidsons - Mrs. B. W. & I at home - wrote to M. Clean forgot about Peat's else might have sent my parcel down by W. last night when he was going to election meeting in town - Great excitement over Powers & Glassey - 9th. Thursday. Raining off & on nearly all day. M. home tonight - said it was dreadfully stale at D's last night - 10th. Friday. Last day again - glad am I - though this hasn't been such a bad week at all - May has been quite different since I talked on Monday - Raining again. Letter from Ella W. - nice letter - & parcel from M. with letter inside - was left at M's last Tuesday to be sent to me on Wednesday he'll be wondering why my parcel didn't arrive too - send it tomorrow. Bit better today - have had shower baths nearly every day - they have done me no harm - cold & all - rather good I believe - must keep them on as long as possible. Mammy told Will. He doesn't think H. good enough - that's what they'll all say - I'm satisfied - haven't regretted it yet - he loves me - thats sufficient 11th. Saturday. Mrs. B. went down this morning Kate with her - little Frank very sick last night - funny - he always gets sick up here - his father will be mad. Went not out today - practised 130 exercises & about 10 scales in an hour - Great day of excitement in town - Glassey's party share been dreadful - wouldn't let Dickson the Premier speak last night - terribly disgraceful scene - Wish old Perel & his Patriot hadn't cast a slur on the party by their horribleness. News came at 9 tonight Glassey in by 270 majority!!! Feel sorry for them here - W. is terribly disgusted. It means doing away with the Kanakas - they vow vengance on Bundaberg people for their behaviour - still - it's a free country - it they think they are in the right let them have a taste of their own way - they would have it - Felt very nasty all day - Letter from my poor old boy - he's dreadfully down because this week has been very dull - I'm sorry - prayed that he might have a good week - won't give up praying either - he does want to pay off the remaining debts this month
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12th. Sunday. No church this morning. Church at Kolan being painted. Went not out at night either. Had nice day - quiet - read Knight-Errant Edna Lyall's book - the first of hers I've read. 13th. Monday. Am going to pray much for mon garcon ~ le succes de Told him what sort of ring I'd like. [other indecipherable superscripting] Wrote to him this afternoon cheering him up. Feel nasty again Davd up to night to sing at the Hall - they were giving Alick G. a presentation. M. went. I stayed & went early to bed. 14th. Tuesday. Had nasty night. Am going to load myself up with clothes now to see if that will keep me right. Mr. & Mrs. G. came back last night from Brisbane. Lemons from Ma also letter enclosed with patterns for blouse - must get warm one soon. Letter from H. Thank God - things were better than he expected the next day & yesterday. 15th. Wednesday. Feel bit better to day - hope it's going now. It's a miserable commencement for the winter .. Letters from Edie & Amy W. Both nice lovely letters which cheered me much. Edie is quite pleased. 16th. Thursday. Things bit nasty this week again. Need much patience & wisdom too to put up cheerfully. M. is about as bad-tempered as she can be calling me all sorts of things to Katie - wishing I was gone. &c. It would be better for all parties if she[underlined] went - shall suggest it if anything is said to me - am not afraid - Am so thankful when each day closes. She's jealous too about Katie having a new horse 17th. Friday. Holiday. Arthur W. came last night - stayed till this afternoon. Another trying day. Wrote to Ma. Mr. Ellison up & had service. I went not out. Finished 3 pairs bootees for him to take. 18th. Saturday. Finished up odds & ends this morning. Went to the school for an hour after dinner. Went out with Katie. Evelyn & Percy Stirling for a ride. It's over 3 months since my last - with Jack. It did me good too. Felt better for it. Letter from H, Mine did him good. Letters from Edie & Amy W. Mable very nice & loving 25th. Saturday. Katie & I rode to Workman's. Albert Wiles there. They made us stay after all. Had good fun too. Jack writes to Min so she says - & not to me[3 words underlined]. M. wants A.W. & Tom Workman to sing on Monday. Tom says he will!!! 26th. Sunday. Felt horrible this morning. Sick as per usual when I come here. Ellison's turned up last night after all so we had a crush - Felt better after a while. We came home with Ben in time for church. Heard Mr. E. give his last - Had lovely ride home Laddie went grandly - we cantered nearly all way. Tunley here. Looks withered like Mrs. Bowes. 27th. Monday. Ellison's staying till tomorrow. Had things shifted to Hall. Man came & tuned our piano. It went well tonight. Eva G & I played a duet & I 14 items after. 4 encores - Tom W. Albert W. Dave & Mr. James G. I felt tired but happy. Workmans up. We rode Ben too hard last night. 28th. Tuesday. Horrible all day. Burning hot. Wrote to H. too last night hope I'm not going to be sick 29th. Wednesday. Better but sore throat. 30th. Thursday. Nasty today. No letter from H. tonight. Can't make it out. It made me feel nastier. Won't know when hes coming. 31st. Friday. Good Friday. M. went down to Workman's this morning & Mrs. G. to town - noone left at home - W. away too & Mr. G. at Watana. Kate & Elsie went to town with the girls who went n[sic] to Pialba - they'll be away for a week. Good. Felt very nasty
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this morning. Don't know how I got together. Rested at home all day. Uncertain about H's coming. Willie went up to meet him. He did come & brought my ring!!! Felt like somebody else. Wish I had not been so nasty - didn't want him to see me in this state - We had to be content with a talk in the back room Will has made a kitchen & the house is quite nice. My enlargement came too - not bad atall[sic]. 1st. April Saturday. Mrs. Mellor sent up Noel with the buggy for us to go down in so H drove - we left at 10 - went down town first - Suppose we were squinted at too. Lees' had a good old squint. Had a nice drive down - got there at 12 - had dinner with Mrs. M. & Lea C. that was. H. & I walked over to the Lighthouse for him to send a telegram to Miss P. saying he would stay till Tuesday cheek of him - he intended going back on Monday morning - I felt better already but very shaky. So disgusted that I should be like this 2nd. Sunday. Easter. Nice quiet day. Better but horrid cough. H. read a letter me today. 3rd. Monday. - We two went over to the Lighthouse & got a man to show us up it - Races here. Young Alf in it - enjoying himself here. Feel lot better today - Wish H. could stay on - We are just getting to know each other now - he must go tomorrow morning Had a walk out tonight for a while on beach. 4th. Tuesday. Cough bothered me much last night - also - he remarked last night that he'd bought a ticket for a dance next Monday & was taking Lottie Hulk - also sending other remarks then & this morning that made me think - last night we had a good time but still this rankled in my mind - why does he want to go to dances now or what right has he - engaged to me & a professing Christian too. Wish I'd spoken out. The dear chap left about 12 with Matthewson. Didn't feel so bad after as I thought. Sat out this afternoon bit. Rained some last night & this morning. Looks set in. Wrote to Ivy to take him round & to the Social tonight Mr. Ellison's Farewell. 5th. Wednesday. Had nice bathe this morning. Feel better for it. Had nasty night rather & slept in till nearly 10 - 6th. Thursday. Lovely bathe at 12 - Went over & spent the afternoon at Lea's. She has a nice home. Letter from H. Didn't like it - made me feel nasty. Not at all like his usual ones. Seemed to upbraid me[underlined] for causing him to lose Tuesday. & consequently 2 guineas - Feel quite offended - especially as he wants his tie which he left behind to go to the dance on Monday. 7th. Friday. Cough still & sick rather this morning. Lea came over to spend the afternoon. We had tea on the beach & [...] there Ivy & Mellor's 3 arrived with the buggy. Such a picnic as we had tonight with them all - Got oysters this morning Lovely day - wish I felt nicer. 8th. Saturday. Horrible day - sick & miserable - coughed from the time we left the coast till 1/2-4 this afternoon. Sick at heart Ma read my letter last night & didn't like it either - wanted to know where he intended going on Monday so I told her. She was very much surprised too at it. Spoke so about it that I didn't sleep scarcely all night. Had a good howl under the trees this morning. She found me & comforted me the darling mother. Feel as if I hated going back to Bingera this time - wish I could just stay
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with the little Mother & be comforted. We stopped in town & got things - then went home about 1/2-2 - Felt so miserable with this cough that when Mehan came with the cab just sent my box along. So glad tho' to stay. Wrote to H. before tea - the horrid cough stopped after a while so I just wrote straight to him. Told him I was very disappointed - thought all his love was mine & that it grieved me much too to think of his going to dance - engaged & a Christian or I thought so - If he thought me too particular to change me for someone else. He wont like it. Don't care. God knows I want to do what is right now[underlined] at all hazards. Perhaps this is my punishment. Felt better after I had written it. sent his tie & the £ he gave us 9th. Sunday. Quiet day at home with the dear Mother to comfort me. Cough better too - So glad that I'm not alone up there today. Would be miserable Got up. late & went to bed early. Edie's birthday & I haven't thought of it. 11th. Monday. Couldn't start this morning early - rained all night & this morning too. Waited for afternoon train. Raining then too but got cab to drive up. Feel so much better for darling little Mother's comfort. Got up here about 4. M. not home - gone to town for a week. Quite a surprise met me - Eight letters!!! 7 & a bill no less - Two from H. One that I ought have had but it had gone off to Gladstone on its own little account & another came last Saturday. An invite to the Bach's Ball held last Friday ~ must tell H. that ~ one from Mrs. Brassington[underlined] - a nice kind letter - one from Jim[underlined] - such a strange mixture - upbraidings for my distorted view of things & to him - wicked - blessings & congratulations all mixed up - dear old chap - he's just the same - Says "People get what they deserve so I deserve all good" - Am afraid it ought be reversed. Another from Jim Stirling - & one from Jack Wishart - quite surprised at that - a nice friendly letter inquiring after my photo ~ I just sent it to-day. Glad I did now. Feel quite cheered by these. They must have been sent purposely. 11th. Tuesday. School. Feel as if I hated it now. Wet & I stayed here for dinner. 12th. Wednesday. Raining again but I got home for dinner. H. will get my letter this morning. Wonder how he'll take it. My poor boy - but I'm not sorry I wrote as I did. God knows I did it for the best. Wrote to Ma yesterday. How slowly the time seems to go now. Am longing for tomorrow night 13th. Thursday. Raining again. Got quite anxious when mail time arrived. There was a letter from my poor old boy - such a broken-hearted missive - it touched me deeply. He evidently took it all very much to heart. Says he didn't enjoy himself at all on Monday & was glad when it was over. Never intends to go again. Perhaps I was too hard upon him. He has a tender heart. God bless & comfort us both & help to know Him & each other better through this. Big parcel from Ma - all sorts of things. Says H. sent her [...] & a note - kind too - She replied at once. Glad these two have taken to each other so well. Never thought Ma would - especially now but she'll be alright. 14th. Friday. Cleared. Wrote to H. to-night. He won't get it till Monday morning. He have not a very happy Sunday I'm thinking my poor boy. Wore my ring to tea. Kate & Elsie's faces were a study - they especially Elsie were[underlined] astonished. Told them all about it - no use keeping it now. 15th. February. Over to office & sent off a big parcel to Ma. Amused myself all day. Glad to feel so much better but still cough bothers one. Won't stay here after midwinter - Don't like this thing hanging on me - will need a [?bering] up before future events take place - don't want it to become chronic. Can rest up at Alf's for the rest of the year. 17th. Tuesday. Went not out at all to day. Had bad headache too. Quiet day. W. noticed my ring tonight & congratulated me - Hoped I'd have better luck than he had. I'm always sorry for him - but this season of trial must be sent for a purpose to them both