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30th. Friday. Feel nice to-day. Know that I've had special year strength given me this week. Have felt His presence very near me Cold these days. They said something last night about my coming up there to-night but as it was late when Tom came from the mail & no one took the trouble to come for me I stayed home. Aint going to run after folks. 1st. May Saturday. School this morning - holiday this afternoon. Mrs. G. been away all week only came home this evening. Thought it would be awful only ours two selves & the children but not so bad after all. We got on first rate. Got the startling news from Mrs. G. Stan W's & Miss S. are engaged at last! Well I only hope it may prove to turn out well but I can't think he will be happy with her. She isn't half good enough for him. He will have to come down to her level - he won't raise her to his, he couldn't unless she changes very much. They sent special word down by Katie to come up to-night so I swallowed my pride & went - by myself. Had a nice evening too. Letter from Mr. Allanby. Except one from Ma Monday 2nd. Sunday. Church twice today. Played this morning Had nice read this afternoon of Life's Byways & Waysides. It is[underlined] a lovely book. 3rd. Monday. Word came this morning by telephone that Mrs. Boreham had a son yesterday. I thought somehow it could be a boy. Mrs. G. only came home Saturday too. She might as well have stayed. 3rd. Tuesday. Mrs. & Mr. G. went to town this morning. Mrs. G. staying till tomorrow. Mrs B. not well. Letter from little Mother last night. She had a lovely trip up. Not a bit sick. It must have been like the time Edie & I came down. All had[underlined] the fever after all ~ when she got up. I do hope she doesn't get it. She says she well. Had letter from Ivy ~ She says they got a telegram yesterday from Arthur that little Alice was dead. Wonder what could have been wrong with the little thing. Poor Art & Min. Their first sorrow. May the Lord comfort them. I wrote to them & Ma to-night. Ivy says that they had a letter from Ma & that she said Alf was going to Emu Park for a few days taking Alice & Ma was going to mind the house with the girl. Don't like her being left by herself like that. It's not safe. 4th. Wednesday. Mrs. G. not coming home till to-morrow. Have got quite used to being with Mr. G. now - do not mind it in the least Don't miss the others at all now. Wrote to Ivy. 5th. Thursday. Got long letter from Jim. He gave me some sound brotherly advice. Is quite indignant that any wooden hearted. &c. &c. &c. should dare to throw away lightly the love of such a one as his sister. I couldn't help laughing over some parts. He is quite sure C. has changed his mind ~ So think I ~ He advises me strongly to keep to my determination to have a "clear understanding". I'm going to on the 4th. of next month - the anniversary of our engagement I'm going to write. Don't think I'll press that it be continued either. Don't think that life would satisfy me now. If he were in some other place ~ he's[underlined] all right ~ but the relations - & the environments. I've seen the world now. Expect that this drought will squash all his little plans - if he has any. But ~ Choose Thou for me my God - then shall I walk aright. I'm not going to worry over it. He[underlined] knows.

6th. Friday. My busy week over. Had May & Harold G. back this week. Cold & windy today. Think I've got another cold. Feel sore throat Mrs. Martin & Miss Newell came this afternoon. Want me to play for the Concert to be given in the Hall on the 21st. Suppose I must. 7th. Saturday. Miserable day. Felt just the same as the cold I had not long ago. Miserable cold day to-day too. Just like midwinter. Ache all over & burning hot head. Did all sorts of odd jobs however. Feel heartbroken too! Jim - our pet boy Jim ! = Has left Bingera - & for good. They said he was going to Brisbane to-day but I thought just on a holiday. He came to say Good-bye at breakfast time & I said "How long will you be away Jim" He said "I don't know". After he'd gone (Mrs. G was as wise as I was) Mr. G. told us he had left for good - no more work. Poor old Jim ~ The only boy I cared about here & was just getting to understand pretty well. It's always the way. Anyone I care for always leaves me. Bingera will be a dull place now Why couldn't they have sent that stupid Jim W. away. Mary will be sorry too. She liked Jim 8th. Sunday. Went to bed early last night - put my feet into hot mustard & water ~ got Mrs. G. to rub me well with turps - gave me dose of magnesia too - my head was very hot - must have got a thorough chill. It was in that draughty old school. Feel better today. Aches gone - only cold in head. Warmer day too. Stayed in all day. Mrs. G. very kind. Made me lay down on the sofa drawn up by the fire & kept a fire in for me. 9th. Off to school as per usual. Felt all right but cough. Kept our hall door locked. Mr. W. went to Brisbane this morning for holiday. Mrs. W's going too. & Mrs. James & Miss went too[sic]-day. Every body's going. Threatening rain 10th. Tuesday. Raining at last. Coming down pretty heavy to-night. Thank. God. Hope it will keep on. Mrs. W. : the baby : Jean S. are here now. Makes it more lively for me. Letter from Ma last night. She's all right ~ thanks be. 11th. Wednesday. Mr. G. started for Brisbane today ~ he too is on holiday wish mine was here. We are quite free & easy here now - we hen party. 12th. Thursday. Rain all gone now. We had only 1/4-inch here but in town they had over 2 in. ~ good ~ My old cold nearly gone now excepting cold in head yet. Must have been the draught in that school did it Wrote to Ma last night. Finishing her shirt to send on soon. 12 months today since I left for H. 13th. Friday. Thought we - Jean & I might go for a ride this afternoon : but they couldn't get the horses - going to-morrow. 14th. Saturday. Did lots of odd jobs to-day. finished Ma's singlet - It is quite a success. J. Tom Archie & I went for a ride to Kalbar. Nice too but I rode Daisy & didn't feel at all safe on her - saddle rolled too ~ won't ride her again ~ can't get Bob ~ J. rode Laddie. I would have liked to but didn't feel safe to. Felt lot better for it anyway - Lovely afternoon too. Got two letters from Ma before going out. Should have got one sooner. Art. had telegraphed to her to come up - he would pay fare ~ Minnie fretting terribly - she had a short letter from him too. It was "diptheria" was wrong Min.. was broken up & was staying with her sister-in law. Art. was somewhere else - House fumigated - She asked my opinion about going up. In the next one she says Art had telegraphed they were all leaving for Sydney. Glad Ma isn't going so far. It will do all of Art's good too. The little Mother well & happy.

10th. Sunday. Church twice. Went down to S.S. thinking they were going to practice a quartette for to morrow nights B. of H. but they didn't turn up so I went back. Reading " Sorrows of Satan" & got the creeps. 16th. Monday. B. of H. to night. I took Mrs. W.'s plce in the quartette. The folks seemed to enjoy it all right. "Jerusalem my happy Home" sang alto. Then my five girls sang "Polly". I drilled & threatened them beforehand if they didn't do it right. They did it well. Good meeeting 17th. Tuesday Mr. G. & W. came home to night. W. looks well as he might do after 5 weeks holiday. M. is staying in Brisbane. 18th. Wednesday. Feel triste to day - thinking of the happiness of others & wondering what's going to be the end of my little romance. Must write in a fortnight's time & damand a settlement. Told Ma I'd give it up. It does not seem good enough for me from a "[?sisition]" point of view. People would[underlined] wonder I expect should I go & do such a thing. I couldn't love anyone else - that's certain. - Concert & Dance this Friday 19th. Thursday. The folks came here for a practice on the floor this afternoon getting the place ready for to night ~ some came to "cut up" too. Mrs. G. asked me to come home in time to receive Mr. & Mrs. Mitchell who were coming here for tea they were all away in town to day (they are leaving S. Kolan where the're[sic] been for 23 years) so I came home & practised "Jessie's Dream" which I played tonight as overture. Don't play any more good pieces out. It passed off very well. They gave Mr. & Mrs. Mitchell a clock, silver teapot & biscuit barrel. Beautiful presents & address besides. We stayed for a cup of tea & the 1st. dance then Mrs. W. & I came home. The last time I danced ~ with my Laddie ~ Mr. Benbow there from town. He sang "3 old Maids of Lee" Good number there & lots for the dance. 22nd. Saturday. Did all sorts of things to-day - quite tired myself out. Mrs. Corrie from Brisbane came unexpectedly. She plays well. Mr. Ellison too not going in for Monday 24th. Katie & Elsie going to town Monday & Mr. G. is going down to stay at Mrs. B.'s. No use keeping school then unless the others want it. Won't get off my day earlier now. Anyway don't think I shall go overland. Cost too much. G. thinks I ought not - had letter from her today. Have got to face the lions yet & ask for 3 weeks !!! 23rd. Sunday. Church twice. Just poked round all afternoon - headache. 24th. Monday. Raining some all day. Queen's Birthday. Great day in town but just as well I'm not down ~ couldn't go out. Had holiday here instead helped Mrs. W. entertain visitors from town - a Mr. & Mrs. Jordan - not long in Bund - they had a youngster with them ~ a spoilt kid ~ However they managed to be amused till they departed. I finished my blouse ~ glad ~ got nearly everything done now I do think. Had nice day altogether. Children didn't go to town after all. Mrs. G. went for fortnight & Mrs Corrie too. Do wish rain would keep on. 25th. Tuesday. Clear day again. Don't feel 'on' for school after yesterday. Posted Ma's shirt to her yesterday ~ glad that's gone[underlined]. No letter from her - only paper ~ she must be sick ~ My poor little Mother. 26th. Wednesday. Mrs. Corrie went away this morning. She is very nice ~ told me all about her little girl that died ~ asked me to come & see her sometime 27th. Thursday. Wrote to Edie & H. last night. Cold again 28th. Friday. Got surprise by Mrs. G. appearing this morning - she looks well - should do so to[sic] ~ seems more settled than when she went away ~ altogether [?well] Went over to Mrs. John's this afternoon & asked for ~ 3 weeks ~ rather cheeky too ~ but got it ~ So I start extra time next week - will be hard work. Mr. W. came home to night. M. brought me a nice pair of kid gloves - glad - Mabel's birthday. 9th.

29th. Saturday. Doing & finishing nearly all my odd jobs now. Went up to Wildes this afternoon. Didn't stay to tea ~ wanted us to. He brought us 2 pretty little scent boxes ~ quaint little things ~ il peus a à moi aussi - j'en etais bien aise No letter from Ma. She must be sick - Can only pray she is not seriously - 30th. Sunday. Church twice. Wrote to C. Didn't intend to until 4th. but as I was the only one left in the house thought I would avail myself of the quiet. asked to be directed as to what to write - then wrote - Told him to reply[2 words underlined] 31st. Monday. First day of extra work - shall feel it I know - we were bothered again by old Lorenski - who read my bumps - he has the Hall for to night - they all went but me - I felt too tired. Asked W.G. if a letter came to send it over to me which he did - It was from Ma - such writing - she didn't say a word but I knew she was sick - sure it had been written in bed - Wrote straight away to her asking her to be sure & reply by someone letting me know how she was. It would not be as bad to know as to think & not know - 1st. June Tuesday. Tired again to night - suppose I'll get used to it by & bye 2nd. Wednesday. Thought this evening when I had a time of quiet thoughts of this day last year - Wonder if he thinks of it & has been to look at our tree - it was a beginning of happy days that day - Letter this morning - delayed - from Grace - they want me to telephone whether I had any word from Ma - they haven't for a while & are anxious so I sent down a message 3rd. Thursday. This day last year Edie & I were left alone while C. & Mrs T. went to town & when he came home I read in his eyes what I couldn't mistake - my Laddie - Mr. E. here for service but I went not - too tired 4th. Friday. Wonder whether he remembers this day - happiest evening of my life - Don't know - think he has changed - my instinct tells me & I'm not often mistaken thereby - that's the reason of his not writing - told him so in the letter. Glad this has been a busy week - otherwise I should have had too much time for reflection. But strange enough I feel very calm & peaceful - My father knows what is best for me - My times are in His hand - "I thank Thee for Thy peace oh God which falls like sunshine on the road of those who trust in Thee." Letter from Alf tonight enclosing one from Alice & the dear little Mother - & £2 - towards my trip. She did have a fever - strange that I should have guessed rightly - but not badly - & is getting on nicely - thank God. 5th. Saturday. School this morning. So endeth the first week of busy work. I have felt very well too all the time - not even a headache. "As thy day so shall thy strength be." Doing books up & mending &c. all afternoon. Expected Mrs. G. & Mrs. B. & the baby up this afternoon but they came not. Mrs. B. not well consequences of marrying such an one as B. 6th. Sunday . Church twice. To-day 12 months was the happiest day of my life. Wonder if he remembers it too. Terribly windy day 7th. Monday. School. 8th. Tuesday. Mrs. Gibson & Mrs. B. & the baby came up this afternoon. She looks delicate ~ the baby is a nice little thing but very small. Letter from Mrs. Mellor thanking me for the shams & offering to drive up from [...] to the train very kind. 9th. Wednesday. The children here are going down with M. Friday week. Wonder if I could arrange to go down then with them to Maryboro & go on by the boat to Rockn. 10th. Thursday. Started & put on 1/4 hr extra from to-day. Start at 1/4 to 9 sharp & 1/4 to 1. May have to go down on Friday to catch the train Sat. morning if the boat leaves before Sat. night. Terrible shock tonight. Got one as I was going out of my room nearly smashed my nose ~ then on my plate was a

Mr. Ellison up. Concert tonight. Glad I haven't togo[sic] letter from Ma - dear little Mother - & one from C. Such a freezing letter. It froze all the love in my heart up. Can't believe he would ever write such a letter. Don't believe he would only he was counselled to do it - It's just what Mrs. T would write under such feelings as she had towards me when I left. It has given my belief & trust in human nature a severe shock such as I'll never recover - I'm sorry for that. But in another way my faith & trust in my Heavenly Friend is made stronger - so it's a blessing. I'm quite convinced it is for my good that it is so as I've prayed all along only I'm very sorry that he couldn't have written to me in the same way as I wrote to him - it would have satisfied me quite to know that even had he seen it was no use our ever thinking of each other but as friends in as much as he loved me before. How could you write such a cruel letter Laddie you who only one year ago promised & vowed that nothing on earth would ever come between us. Such is the frailty of human love. 11th. Friday. Had only 4 hrs sleep last night - thought - thought - thought all night. Can't realise it. Truly it was a dream[underlined] with a rude awakening My[underlined] love is gradually turning into contempt the more I read that letter the more do I despise him. I'll burn it - never let anyone see it - why Ma would be indignant. I feel as tho' I'd never speak to him or his mother again It is her work I'm sure. I dont want the friendship even of such a deceiver. Feel stunned little yet the peace that the world cannot give is mine thank God 12th Saturday. School today. Sent word by Mr. Ellison yesterday to Grace asking her to ask at the Shipping Office what time the Burwah left Maryboro for R. Feel about done up tonight - this week has been a hard one & that shock coming to me. The more I think of it the more I despise him. thinking of all he said to me how could he ~ I'd be ashamed to own what he has done ~ Glad anyway that I wrote as I did : my conscience is clear ~ his isn't I'm sure if he's got one 13th. Sunday. Never went out to-day except to see Mrs. Porter & Mrs. J. Gibson. Wrote to Jim & unburdened my soul to him. He'll be wild I know. His was a true prophecy - Jim has a very good insight into character ~ strange that he should have distrusted him so. I'll evermore trust to Jim's advice. But I can't realise that Laddie - my Laddie that I loved should have treated me so ~ won't believe that he ever did ~ but I despise him for having no mind nor will of his own. 14th. Monday. Letter from Ma. Wants me to come quickest way. Letter from Ivy too. She says there's only a boat leaving Wednesday. I'm sure there's one on Sat. Mr. G. told me to go to the telephone tomorrow & ask from the Shipping Office about it. Muriel Blain came up tonight. She is no beauty 15th. Tuesday. Went over to the Office this morning before 12 to ask about it so they told Mr. W. after asking that the Burwah would leave M. on Sat. some time. Glad - When I came back found all youngsters in tears. I left Jessie to take names which she had done - hence tears Wrote Ma yesterday. 16th. Wednesday. Hard day. Tired. Going to ask to leave off to morrow as M. & the girls are going down Friday morning. 17th. Thursday. Finishing up to-day. Sent over to Mrs. John to see if she would mind my breaking up to day & asked Mr. G. also. They both said not at all so I did nothing loth. We were sent to the body of the Hall as they had decorated the stage for the Band of Hope. to night. They all went I minded the baby with Lizzie for company. Was awfully tired but he was good only I had to nurse him all the time. Packed up after that It was after 11 when I got to bed. 18th. Friday. Went over early this morning & finished the girls lessons.