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13th. Saturday. Busy all morning fixing things straight. We were terribly disappointed by Jim coming to say he had to go to town for Archie G. Mr. W. went too so only Will was left to escort us. However we had a lovely ride about 10 miles all round the Cedars. Had fun too coming home. No letter from H. He must be sick poor chap. Wrote to Ma this morning 14th. Sunday. Church this morning. Felt "off" this afternoon. Didn't go to church at night. Arthur Gibson & Jim S. here for tea & we went down to the river after tea for a walk. 15th. Monday. Miss W. & Mrs. B. went home this morning. 16th. Tuesday. Going to have holiday next Monday instead of tomorrow 17th. Wednesday. Mr. G. came home last night. M. went to town this morning & so did W. for the cricket match. so we were alone again. Got used to it now. 18th. Thursday. M. didn't come home till this afternoon. Got photo from Amy W. Good one too. What possesssed her to think of me I wonder. We two had a good old yarn on the verandah tonight. 19th. Friday. Got school over in good time this afternoon. Mr. Martin sent a note by Tom last night asking me to play 2 overtures & the young monkey lost it & found it this morning else I'd have sent word that I wouldn't Had to practise "Murol a" & "American Airs." Got my blouse (llama one) rigged up & wore it & M. did up my hair in the latest style ~ I looked quite different ~ we all went except Mr. G. ~ went to the Office first & there found a letter from Amy W. Wonder of wonders! what is coming! must be trying to work the oracle. In a letter from Ma lately she said Alf was wanting her to go up soon after Easter & keep house while Alice went to Gladstone for a change ~ so that puts our little holiday scheme off - & I'll have to write & tell H. not to come up then as I'll want to be quiet with Ma then & get her ready : Threatened rain as we were going out to Kolan. & it did come down after I had started the overture. Lot there. Went off all right only my 2nd. wasn't appreciated a bit - no more solos for me. The rain stopped before we left for home & we got home dry but my feet were wet 20th. Saturday. Got all ready & started for home with Katie & Elsie this morning. Left them at the station. Got to Will's about 10. Little mother all well. But she's too hardworking there. I'm glad she going to M. she's getting too useful. She looking thin too. Rested all day. Came on raining at night & we couldn't go to town. 21st. Sunday. Didn't go out this morning. Went to see Joe & nursed the baby & yarned with the mother &c. Went to church at night. Mr. Ellison preached on Professor Drummond. It was very good. Good many there but the singing was poor & the playing wretched. 22nd. Monday. Got everything settled up & my things all together & left for Bingera at 6. after we had been to see Mrs. Reddan ~ her baby is a nice little thing. Feel a sore throat this afternoon & heavy. might be the extra walking &c. was down town this morning. Got up to B. after 8. the two girls came home with me. I had a big headache when I got there. 23rd. Tuesday. Terrible head today. Don't know how I got through the day. Just like influenza. B. of Hope meeting tonight & we had to have school in the body of the Hall. When I got home got a mustard foot bath & a hot lemon drink & went straight into bed. They all went to the meeting Mr. W. wanted to stay with me but I wouldn't let him. Didn't mind a bit being left alone felt too bad to care. Got a good rubbing with turpentine too. 24th. Wednesday. Pain in my head gone but got sneezing fit on. & throat sore & head like a pumpkin. Wrote to Ma this morning thinking she might feel uneasy. B. of H : great success last night. Had to go in the Hall again this morning. Another weary. Party once at Mr. James'
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tonight - T's birthday but I didn't want to go : felt too miserable It rained too. Stayed home & wrote to H. He wont like it I know. Rubbed myself well with turp again 25th. Thursday. Better but throat feels very sore & thick. Verne Scott here all week. Don't want to see anybody tho' My chest too is very sore 26th. Friday. Better but throat sore yet - hurts me to talk. Wonder I haven't felt my old enemy tho'. It has been all in my head & throat. Glad this day is over & this week too. V. S. & M. went to town this morning. Haven't seen anything at all of Verne but have been so miserable 27th. Saturday. Home all day resting & working. Feel lot better - it's leaving me now thanks be ~ Letter from Ma last night. Got one from Edie the night I came up. They are all right. She wants to know how my little romance is getting on. It will have either to be "on" or "off" soon. She thinks we have been writing since Xmas as we had arranged. 28th. Sunday. Went not out all day. Had nice time home this morning with Katie. About 3.30. Mr. W. came & asked me to go down with him to the river for an outing so I went. We had a good old talk there for nearly 2 hours. He was very confidential & rather startled me with some of the things he said. I seem in some way indespensable to his happiness ~ says I am just like one of his sisters. Can't understand it but there is something & that a serious something wanting in his marriage relation or he would not feel as he does. It never entered my head before ~ I thought he treated me just like any girl he liked but it dawned upon me to-day & forced itself upon me to night parce qu'il me baisa grand nous nous [?souh enteres] bon nuit. It makes me feel uncomfortable. It has spoiled my friendship with him too & Can't feel the same freedom as I did after what passed to-day. Oh : I want to be a blessing not otherwise & I don't like it & yet I too as he ~ long for love & sympathy. 29th. Monday. Disturbed day. Wish I didn't get so upset. Why am I such. Feel 'distraite' & queer altogether. Not much sleep last night. 30th. Tuesday. Not much better to-day. Ce soir nous parlâmes longtemps après que tous les autres se couchèrent ~ à la porte de ma chambre. All the embarrassed feeling disappeared tho' & I felt more like my old self. Le pauvre! Malgre moi - meine je ne puis m'empêchés de m'amie. Il est si amoureux. But why does he want me ~ something must be wrong 31st. Wednesday. Feel not in very amiable mood to-day. These things bother me. Are they right. Everyone's coming home on Friday night. Strange il ne montre ni joie, ni attention. il sortit ce soir et je suis tout triste. Il etait sorti ce soir et je allais dans ma chambre pour lire. Apres quelque temps j'étais suce je l'entendis hors de ma chambre mais 1st. April Thursday je sentes tout distrait pour aller voir. Pourquoi n'allait. il pas hitôt. Wrote to Ma to-night & felt quite homesick ~ & heartsick ~ Went out for lovely ride at tea-time with Tom & Albert G. Had good old gallop home on Bob. Felt I must get out somewhere. Am getting morbid. This place has changed for me now & lui aussi ~ 2nd. Friday. Elsie's birthday. She had the girls here to tea but Katie was very sick & I had to give her an injection as last resource. This morning got quite a scare. Was up early & ~ il venait chez moi ~ et long temps nous parlâmes et il me consola. C'etait lui le soir dernier. Il n'aima pas me disturbe
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Mrs. G. & Mrs. W. came to night after 8. They both looked better & the little chap is blooming. Got terrible scare. As I was going to bed il me demanda ~ vent à ma chambre ~ de venir sur la ver ~ pour quelque minutes ~ Je allais. Bientôt j'entendis des pieds et je dis "Il faut que j'aille vitement" [?] dit "Oh il u'y a personne." Mais j'allai au dedans vitement. C'etait elle[underlined]. Vraiment je sentis mon coeur s'arretâter[sic]! Je me conchai en peu ne temps. S'i elle ceous avait vu! Je prie le bon Dieu qu'elle non. Je sent si horrible. Il a tout[3 words underlined] n'ais je le blâme pour avois être si fou 3rd. Saturday. Ce matin à bonne heure nous parlâmes ensemble quelque minutes. Il dit qu'il semblait comme si nous avions tort ~ pour s' enfruit[sic]. Péut être - mais quant à moi ~ que pouvais - je dire si elle m'avait voi avec lui. Vraiment elle crocrait que j'était une neauvais. J'espére qu'elle n'a pas de soupçons. Je lui dis qu'il nous faut avoir froideus il y a quelque temps parce que nous n'avons pas le moins intention de mal mais tout le monde le croirait mal[underlined]. This afternoon pretty early we went up there to tea & spent the evening after Mr. Muller there. I felt miserable et si condamné. Why did he ~ pour s'assurer? Glad am I that I've a refuge & a comfort far above all this. May God forgive me if I've done wrong. 4th. Sunday. Church twice. Had nice quiet time this afternoon. Feel still queer. To-night I had to be cautious en venant de l'eglise. 5th. Monday. Just settling down to-day but got upset again this evening. 6th. Tuesday. Must get my [?shams] finished to take home next week. 7th. Wednesday. Mrs. W. G. asked us to go up there to night as M' Lady was there so we all went up. Had nice evening fun too ~ Got a bit of a turn at quelque chose qu'il disait. Wish he wouldn't. First time I heard Miss L. sing. Was quite tickled. Feel better to-day. "Underneath are the ever. arms" 8th. Thursday. Tea - meeting at Sharon to night. I didn't intend going down at all but Mr. G. kept on asking & M. said she wouldn't go without me so tho' she didn't feel well we went - Jim P. Mrs. G. & the kids. Not much fun. J. asked me to come back on S. night when he had driven W. to town. Good. I'll go down Sat. Had bit of fun over the tin pot piano there & the funny things that happened. Forgetting now. Glad too. M. going down Sat. to B & the two going on to B. Monday. 9th. Friday. Hurried & finished a pair of my [?shams]. 10th. Saturday. Went down with M. & Mr. G. in the buggy this morning. Saved train fare. Got home at 10.30. Dear little mother got a surprise. She's getting ready to go next week. We went down town this afternoon & I got a dress - pretty one & uncommon - got home late. I shall miss the dear Mother when she goes. I want her to stay 6 months. It will do her good. I'll try & get a fortnight at [?widinates] & go up. 11th. Sunday. Felt my enemy today - Strange that I should get it here & never have it up there. Stayed home all day. Mrs. Lees came in after S.S. to say what W. G. had called in to say would I call at the church at 7.30.
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suppose Mr. Howes whom they were expecting must have come today instead of yesterday. We went there slowly & got the buggy with Mr. H. & Mr. W. !! Nous deux avions le asses de derriere. Toute la journei il faut que je l'émpechait de me disgrâcer : It was lovely moonlight. We got home at 10. Il me demandait de le souhaiter le bonne nuit sur le verandah mais elle etait ici et je n'ovais. Anyhow I smelt what I hate & that now enough for me 12th. Monday. My enemy clean gone. Strange that it should leave me so. Mr. H. here. I don't admire his looks. He has a very animal face ~ the lower part - but has nice eyes ~ the only redeeming feature. Had to do without my glasses till tonight - getting another frame &c. 13th. Tuesday. My glasses didn't come last night. Feel so queer without them. Mr. Ellison here. I sent back note by him. Church tonight. had to play. the glasses came this afternoon : they are much lighter & more comfortable only they don't fit like the others. 14th. Wednesday. Mr. H. went away this morning I like him now didn't at first wrote to Bob. My last[underlined]. H. hasn't answered yet. Suppose he's offended Can't help it. It's quiet now with them all away. 15th. Thursday. Mrs. John G. had a son this morning. Their first. They will be very pleased after 5 girls. The children were quite excited. The chap came from Maryboro. & brought a boy too Got a letter from H. last night after all. He's not offended. Getting ready to go home to-morrow. Up at Wilde's to-night. 16th. Friday. Good Friday. Katie & Elsie came with me as far as Workman's : they stay there till Monday night. Got home at 1/4-12 train earlier this time. Church to day : Ivy met me & Ma came out later. Had quiet day home. 17th. Saturday. Went down town this afternoon. Ma expects to go next Monday week. I'll feel lost. Felt my old enemy again last night. 18th. Sunday. Easter Sunday. Church twice tho' I did feel choked. Strange that I should feel it directly I come in here & never up here[sic]. but it's always this time in the year I feel it. Church nicely decorated & good number there. Crowded at night. Aleck G. & Jim S. were sitting in my seat : we had to stick right up in the top. Mr. W. there too : saw him coming out. Good Templar delegates there. Enjoyed the service. 19th. Monday. Easter Monday. Great Procession down street. Sports on today. Ma & I went not out. Enjoyed our afternoon at home. Janet, Will & the children went early. Got everything ready. Such a pile I had taking all my winter clothes up. Posted my letter to B. & one to Meme A. Ma read the former & thought it "very sensible"[2 words underlined] so it must be. We got up to the train too early. it left at 20 past 6. Our carriage was full. Mrs. Porter, Mr. Muller Miss Woodgate. Aleck G. & 4 others so we had a lively time. The girls were not at Sharon so suppose they're coming to-morrow. Terribly crowded truck Dear little mother. Don't know what I'll do without her but suppose I shall be comforted & strengthened according to my need. Think I'll try & get next Monday off : then I can see her off. 20th. Tuesday. Only 3 at school today. K. & E. came home by train this afternoon. Had to do without my glasses again today. The things are so crooked. Got them back by train ever so much better. Ought to be for 18/- Was up at W's. Mrs. Markin Miss Newell Miss Scott there. Il vienant avec moi chez moi et nous nous souhaitâmes le bon nuit. 21st. Wednesday. Mr. & Mrs. G. away all day. I had to superintend. things. 22nd. Thursday. Letter from Ma. enclosing one from S. Mann. Rose has a son.
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They will all be pleased. Boys seem to [be] fashionable just now. Things seem to be rather seriously inclined for want of rain. John & C. have been away looking out grazing land for the cattle. My little dream will be squashed. B. of H. meeting tonight. They asked me to play something : didn't want to but just tried "Quiet Diamonds" from memory. They seemed delighted. Had bit of fun behind on the platform. Quite cold to-night. Good crowd there. 23rd. Friday. School. Asked for Monday as holiday to-night & ~ got it ~ good. 24th. Saturday. Went down this morning. Got cheered on my way by greeting a good many who seemed glad to see me. Old Dr. Wood was talking to me before leaving & told me I looked 5 years younger than when I came. Il me souhaiter "au revoir" Found little mother not quite decided to go Monday but I made her decide. Went out with her afternoon - first to dressmakers & then down town. She has no word from Alf yet but I got my payment this morning so am going to send her off with that. 25th. Sunday - Church morning. Had nice quiet afternoon & stayed in at night & sang. Feel my enemy little again. 26th. Monday. Busy day. Down town this morning early & got Ma's ticket & sent Alf telegram ~ then went to dressmaker's _ so that's done too. Then got Ma quite ready by 3 ~ & Will went with us & Ivy. down to the wharf to find the old Eurinella down at Millaquin. However they had a cab to take the luggage & passengers & we had to put the poor little mother in & send her off without seeing the last of her after all. God bless her & keep her safe & well. They will miss her here & the baby too. Poor little soul ~ she has been good these days. Ivy & I stayed down town & went in (Will would[underlined] shout for us) to Miss McKay's & had afternoon tea. Then went into S. of A. & waited there till Will came & took us to the station at 1/2-5. It was dark before the train left. Don't suppose I shall be down again till midwinter ~ Two weeks holidays then. Am wondering if I'll get a third one then by working extra time beforehand. Must try. 27th. Tuesday. Feel not nice to day. Had letter from Edie last night which did not cheer me a bit ~ such a discontented letter I never knew her to write before - accusing me almost of having such good times Well I work - & then I'm free - when folks get married they might not think of flying round like single ones. She said too that C. had not said a word to her about me. Suppose if this dry weather continues our little game will be played but completely. Well I'm not going to run after him. If when I'm coming through he comes & has a talk with me & settles things one way or another that's all right. 28th. Wednesday. Sent over to Mr. W. to send me word if he got it soon[underlined] about Ma reaching Rockn. safely. He was down her[sic] after tea & cooly sent in Katie to tell me that she'd got word before 6. I went out but he seemed so funny & didn't speak a word to me that I went in. That's a nice way to treat a lonely-hearted critter when she needs comfort. I won't forget it. 29th. Thursday. Later au soir je pleurais. Feel better to-day. Don't want anybody's fluctuating sympathy. Glad I'm not dependant on it. Have someone higher & stable[underlined] to lean on. Mrs. W. brought Miss Davidson down tonight & we'd some music. Il venait tard & ne me parlais pas. Don't care