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with the little Mother & be comforted. We stopped in town & got
things - then went home about 1/2-2 - Felt so miserable with
this cough that when Mehan came with the cab just sent my
box along. So glad tho' to stay. Wrote to H. before tea - the
horrid cough stopped after a while so I just wrote straight to him. Told
him I was very disappointed - thought all his love was mine & that it
grieved me much too to think of his going to dance - engaged & a Christian
or I thought so - If he thought me too particular to change me for someone
else. He wont like it. Don't care. God knows I want to do what
is right now[underlined] at all hazards. Perhaps this is my punishment. Felt
better after I had written it. sent his tie & the £ he gave us
9th. Sunday. Quiet day at home with the dear Mother to comfort me. Cough
better too - So glad that I'm not alone up there today. Would be miserable
Got up. late & went to bed early. Edie's birthday & I haven't thought of it.
11th. Monday. Couldn't start this morning early - rained all night & this
morning too. Waited for afternoon train. Raining then too but got cab to
drive up. Feel so much better for darling little Mother's comfort. Got up here
about 4. M. not home - gone to town for a week. Quite a surprise met me -
Eight letters!!! 7 & a bill no less - Two from H. One that I ought have had but it
had gone off to Gladstone on its own little account & another came last Saturday.
An invite to the Bach's Ball held last Friday ~ must tell H. that ~ one
from Mrs. Brassington[underlined] - a nice kind letter - one from Jim[underlined] - such a strange
mixture - upbraidings for my distorted view of things & to him - wicked -
blessings & congratulations all mixed up - dear old chap - he's just the same -
Says "People get what they deserve so I deserve all good" - Am afraid it ought be
reversed. Another from Jim Stirling - & one from Jack Wishart - quite surprised
at that - a nice friendly letter inquiring after my photo ~ I just sent it to-day.
Glad I did now. Feel quite cheered by these. They must have been sent purposely.
11th. Tuesday. School. Feel as if I hated it now. Wet & I stayed here for dinner.
12th. Wednesday. Raining again but I got home for dinner. H. will get my letter
this morning. Wonder how he'll take it. My poor boy - but I'm not
sorry I wrote as I did. God knows I did it for the best. Wrote to Ma
yesterday. How slowly the time seems to go now. Am longing for tomorrow night
13th. Thursday. Raining again. Got quite anxious when mail time arrived.
There was a letter from my poor old boy - such a broken-hearted missive -
it touched me deeply. He evidently took it all very much to heart. Says he
didn't enjoy himself at all on Monday & was glad when it was over. Never
intends to go again. Perhaps I was too hard upon him. He has a tender
heart. God bless & comfort us both & help to know Him & each other better
through this. Big parcel from Ma - all sorts of things. Says H. sent her [...]
& a note - kind too - She replied at once. Glad these two have taken to each
other so well. Never thought Ma would - especially now but she'll be alright.
14th. Friday. Cleared. Wrote to H. to-night. He won't get it till
Monday morning. He have not a very happy Sunday I'm thinking my poor
boy. Wore my ring to tea. Kate & Elsie's faces were a study - they especially
Elsie were[underlined] astonished. Told them all about it - no use keeping it now.
15th. February. Over to office & sent off a big parcel to Ma. Amused myself
all day. Glad to feel so much better but still cough bothers one. Won't
stay here after midwinter - Don't like this thing hanging on me - will
need a [?bering] up before future events take place - don't want it to
become chronic. Can rest up at Alf's for the rest of the year.
17th. Tuesday. Went not out at all to day. Had bad headache too.
Quiet day. W. noticed my ring tonight & congratulated me - Hoped I'd
have better luck than he had. I'm always sorry for him - but this season of trial must be sent for a purpose to them both