33412-0001-0081

the Social. D. & I had a short ride to the Cemetery & back - & we
kept Mrs. G. company till 9 - then retired - to ~ jamais puis - je
me pardonner ~ Que nous passâmes le temps jus qu'a ~ heures
(ce le vie - ci) il me faut que ([blank space]) dire ~ Malheureux - malheureux.
9th. Wednesday. He left this morning as the day wore on I got
more wretched ~ seem to have come to my senses ~ more meilleur
moi-même - Shall I ever forget it - Il semblait malheureusse
aussi ce matin - Qu'ai - je fait - qu'ai - je fait - Dieu - grâce
pour moi ~ je pleurait et pleurais - à quoi bon.
10th. Thursday. Plus malheureux qu'heis - qu'ai - je fait - que.
j'étais-je ~ Je sens aussi mal pour me noyier - Je veux que je
selan dans la rivière ~ comme je croyars que je seulerais couceue
ceci sooner or later - Don't know how I got through the day -
ma memoir est levi faow me tourmenter. C'est ma pussetion
Mais que de mal je lui ai fait-moi- qui voulais le faire
tant de bien - Dieu ayait [?frite's] de moi - Have made up my
mind to lui écrire et le demande de venir me voir Samedi
soir ~ Wrote to Ma & sent it in cover to her addressed in a bad
handwriting - Perhaps I may feel better after that. We
must part if he cannot meet me sans cela.
11th. Friday. Wretched night - no sleep - Posted my letter
myself this morning - he'll get it tomorrow afternoon -
Feel better now it's gone - Will never feel heureux encore -
jamais il n'oublier - jamais je ne puis me[underlined] pardonner - j'ai perdu mon [...] - ma toute
12th. Saturday. Rained like fun last night & didn't
threaten a bit in the evening. However nothing was going to
stop my going in ~ Kate & Elsie came too - we got a ride
over in the baker's cart - dry - Got down earlier than usual.
Saw D. at the Dairy & waved to him - Ma & I went down town
& were glad & thankful to get home again - my poor little
mother - Bless her - elle sait que peu que sa pouvore fille fille
est malheureusse - et [...]. Serai - je jamais être pardonné.
I told him to whistle a familiar tune so after waiting a while
I heard "When the Wind blows" & came out ~ there he was - didn't
think he'd come ~ if he had the same feeling envers moi
as I had envers moi-même - he never would. However he
was very kind to me ~ il a été malheureux mon pauvre
garcon so we both can sympathise - I thought perhaps 'twas
best not to see one another but he says. Jamais[underlined], so I
was very very glad to hear it - I rather think he feels he'll
change towards me now - We had a good long talk & I felt
a lot better - but should it come to parting ~ poor me - I'll be
the one to suffer - told him I must never see him if I[underlined] have
to forget - says he couldn't make head nor tail of my letter -
felt miserable after reading it - we had a short walk round
the fence but it threatened rain too much. Feel
I shall never be forgiven - shall never forgive myself - never
13th. Sunday. Stayed home all day. Very hot. Came on raining at
night. Shall I get back tomorrow morning. Little mother comforted
me very much. Slept last night peacefully. What a miserable day
I'd have had up there today. Will away at Isis.
14th. Monday. Couldn't start till 2 p.m. About 3 this morning & before
it came to rain & threatened a shower. I gave up all thoughts