33412-0001-0015

31st. Sunday. Joe's birthday. Think he's 39. Dieu le bless. Quiet day. Lovely day too. Went for walk
with Edie in the evening. Had nice view off the hill overlooking Paradise. Mrs. T. & John have bought P.
between them. Singing at night. Feel rather triste to-day. Afraid I'm dooming myself to more disappointment
Je pense toujours à [?lui]. J'ai peut [...] pense trop pour mon bonheur. Wrote to Alf.
1st. June Monday. Wrote to Ma this morning. Cold morning. Studied & practised some.
Had a dance at night & made a discovery : but I'm a silly goose that's what I am but can't help it.
2nd. Tuesday. Memorable day to me. Very cold this morning. Frost. Charlie asked me to go for
a ride with him to get some pink lilies on the Calliope road. I wanted Edie to come too but she
wouldn't. We had a lovely ride. Discovered some more. Don't know if it's for my good. He cut our
names on a tree over there. Seems very much taken with me & I ~ well I don't like to think of it ~
perhaps I have done wrong as I did once before but he is a nice fellow & I can do him no harm.
Had a delicious promenade after tea. It's no use. I can't be stiff.
3rd. Wednesday. They went to town early this morning. I had no sleep scarcely all night. Thinking.
It's coming & I can't stop it now & don't feel as if I want to. Did my washing & ironing to-day. They
seem terribly in earnest & more fond of me than I merit. We had another delicious walk & talk after tea.
4th. Tuesday. Edie & I went over to Mann's for the day. Had nice day. They were very kind. Got home at
dark. Charlie came to meet us. Said he would last night. When I got home ~ well ~ It belongs to our two
selves Diary so I can't say what ~ Anyway, I've been & gone & done it at last ~ at my age ~ He is a dear
good fellow. I may never want to meet a better or love anyone else. But it seems that I have been perhaps
too forward ~ but then it would have happened anyway only not so soon. It seems all like a dream & I
am dreading the awakening. May God grant His blessing to our love. Had a lovely time to-night. He seems
terribly fond of me & I don't deserve it. I asked him what his mother would say if she knew. He said she
would only be too glad to find that he had chosen me. My day of days. Will never[underlined] forget this day.
5th. Friday. Not much sleep last night. Il dit le même cluse. He is a dear dear fellow. He is not half good
enough for me he keeps on saying but as I am quite satisfied what more do we want. Had another dance
to-night & a lovely time. We have not told anyone yet. What will Ma say. & H ~ !!! Well it had to be.
6th. Saturday. We had a long lovely ride this afternoon to Annandale then to Chinaman's gardens.
then to Boyne Bridge. We were going to walk over but were afraid of the train coming along.
crossed the river & came home the other crossing. Had nice confidential talk. Strange how we have come to
a thorough mutual understanding without any words. I told him that it would be best to leave him free
for 12 months lest he should change his mind. I thought of Jim. He assured me he would not[underlined] change ~
well - he is young & I don't want bind him. So if at the end of that time if we both of the same
mind "It will be all right". I told Edie. when we came home & she seemed very pleased. Told her it was
her bad example that made me behave so. He is going to tell Mrs. T. to-morrow. What a strange week
it has been. I don't feel as if I realised it all as I should. Suppose it is the strangeness of it all.
7th. Sunday. Very very happy day for me. I shall never never forget it. C. told Mrs. T. this morning *
Edie had told her last night. She told him she was very pleased & kissed me telling me how pleased she was.
Ma will be a bit hard to get over. I'm sure she will. We had a lovely time before dinner. In the afternoon
went to the little church. Mr Byron was there. We two went by ourselves there & back. Mann's
were there too & we had quite a nice service. I did enjoy it so much. "I will never leave thee nor
forsake thee" Feel so intensely happy. We had a lovely time after tea. I feel almost too happy.
He is a dear dear fellow. May God bless him. Had some nice singing after.
8th. Monday. Wrote to Ma this morning. Didn't say anything to her except that C. & I had
had two long rides together & I was very happy & only needed her to complete it. Had our ball to-
night. We had a stroll after tea C. went down to see Alec Fisher for a while. He does not seem to be able to
bear being away from me any more than I from him. My own dear Laddie.
9th. Tuesday. Studied to-day. Had a stroll again after tea. He does seem to love me as much as I do
him. perhaps more for which I am glad. "It will not be his fault if I am not happy". Riding to-
morrow.
10th. Wednesday. Started for Eagle Farm about 1/2-1. Had to wait there a bit for Sarah. Went over to
see the hills from above Riverston Station. They did look lovely. Had a nice ride. Coming.