gcls_campsevier_103

TRENCH AND CAMP

[Along the left side of the page is a narrow illustration that runs the length of the page. An old woman is knitting. Below that is an explosion in the air, with a man (presumably a soldier) on horseback, his arm raised, holding a sword. Below that, sailors on board a ship.]

"THE BARRACKS WHEEZE"

BY PRIVATE CHET SHAFER
(310th Sanitary Train, Camp Custer,
Battle Creek, Mich.)

After
You've
Been
In the army
A
Month or so
You'll
Wonder why
Someone
Doesn't
Tack a couple
Amendments
On
The law of
Compensation.

WHEN A PATRIOTIC VILLAGER
EXTENDED THE COURTESY OF
HIS HOME TO A SOLDIER AND
PUT UP THE SANITARY COT THE
SOLDIER SAID OF THE VILLAGER
THAT HE GAVE HIS (H)ALL FOR
HIS COUNTRY.

"ARE YOU GETTING MUCH OUT
OF THE ARMY?" THE INTEREST-
ED MOTHER ASKED THE DOUGH-
BOY.

"NO, MADAM," HE ANSWERED.
"BUT I'M GETTING OUT OF MUCH
IN THE ARMY."

Army life is sort of peculiar.
It consists mainly of falling in
and falling out, and when you
fall in you lose your identity
and when you fall out you don't
even make a substantial noise.

And now the "hard boils" are called
"20-minute eggs."

"AND HERE I AM," HE SOLILO-
QUIZED RUEFULLY, "GETTING
UP AT 4.45, DRILLING ALL DAY
AND TURNING IN AT 9 P. M.
HELPING TO MAKE THE WORLD
SAFE FOR DEMOCRACY, AND
I'VE VOTED THE REPUBLICAN
TICKET ALL MY LIFE."

The
Big trouble with
This life
Is that someone
Other than yourself
Plays the ace
And catches
Both pedroes.

STRANGELY -- CLERICAL
MEN DO NOT MAKE GOOD
FILE CLOSERS.

"I'll hit you so hard," he said,
"that your grandchildren will limp
into the evening meal on crutches."

ONE PRIVATE, PHILIP BY
NAME, ANGERED WITH SEV-
ERAL OTHERS AT AN INCONSID-
ERATE ACT OF A SUPERIOR,
SUGGESTED THAT THEY GET
TOGETHER AND WRITE HIM A
THREATENING LETTER.

Which brings to mind that it's
nearly time for the annual election of
officers.

THE ARMY TICKET WILL UN-
DOUBTEDLY CARRY--UNANI-
MOUSLY.

More of the banyan, doctor.

And just about the time you
have decided that you have hit a
smooth spot in this life, you run
against something rough and scrape
the skin off your desire to proceed.

There are a lot of homebodies in the
army, but the distinction is doing them
no good.

AFTER A FOUR-DAY HIKE,
RALPH LOOKED AT HIS BAT-
TERED SHOES AND REMARKED:

"IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE
I'LL BE GETTING BACK ON MY
FEET AGAIN."

LOANS TO OUR ALLIES

Up to April 11 the United States
Government had made loans aggre-
gating $4,835,329,750 to her allies in
the war. The amounts the various
countries have received are as fol-
lows: Great Britain, $2,580,000,000;
France, $1,480,000,000; Italy, $490,-
000,000; Russia, $187,729,750; Bel-
gium, $88,400,000; Cuba, $5,000,-
000; Serbia, $4,200,000. A loan of
at least $44,000,000 will be made to
the Greek Government, and one for
$6,666,666 has been arranged for the
Roumanian Government.

SOLDIERING

A troop of Regular Cavalry under
command of Capt. H. H. Anderson,
on duty at Marfa, Texas, recently
made a hard ride over 200 miles of
the roughest country on the Mexican
border in pursuit of Mexican bandits
and then rode back to camp and
passed a fine inspection.

[comic spans colums 2 and 3]
Army Sports, No. 1
[Five soldiers are standing outside some tents.]
SNIFF-SNIFF-HEY! FELLERS
TAKE A WHIFF, GET THE
ESSENCE O'-WIOLET

YEP--THATS WHAT
I ALWAYS SAID--
IT PAYS TO
ADVERTISE

HEY! BILL!
WHO'S THE
LIBERTY GIRL:

AND A NICE
LOOKING YOUNG
FELLER LIKE ME
DONT EVEN
GET A POST
CARD

IF SHE
COULD ONLY
PIPE THAT MAP

DICKSTEIN.
144TH P.A.
BAT. E [illegible]
CAMP KEA[illegible]

MAIL
An answer to a "Lonesome Soldier Ad."

[headline spans columns 2 and 3]
Learn French

LESSON IX

The French vowel sounds, as al-
ready studied, are as follows:

	English	French
Sound	example	example
a	father	la
'e	met	lait
e'	fate	cafe'
ee	beet	oui
o	softer	donnez
oh	go	eau
oo	boot	vous
uh	fe (r) n	de
	(lips as for oo,
u	tongue as for ee)	du
'ah		franc
'a	a(ngry)	cinq
'uh		un
'o		bon

In the last four the "nasal" vowels,
the breath comes out through nose
and mouth at the same time.

The French have but one conso-
nant sound that is rather rare in
English, the buzzing sound of si in
the word vision. The sound will be
represented by zh. It occurs three
times in the name of the great French
general, Joseph Jacques Joffre, pro-
nounced zhohzef zhak zhofr.

Pronounce r with a distinct trill by
making the tip of the tongue vibrate
just behind the upper teeth. Tele-
phone operators pronounce the word
"three" much like this.

NUMERALS 26-50

	Pronun-	Mean-
French	ciation	ing
Vingt sis	v'at sis	26
vingt sept	v'at s'et	27
vingt huit	v'at weet	28
vingt neuf	v'at nuhf	29
trente	tr'aht	30
trente et un	tr'aht e 'uh	31
trente deux	tr'aht duh	32
trente trois	tr'aht trwa	33
quarante	kar'aht	40
quarante et un	kar'aht e 'uh	41
quarante deux	kar'aht duh	42
quarante trois	kar'aht trwa	43
cinquante	s'ak'aht	50

"Of the" before a word like eau,
water, oh, is spelled de l', as de l'eau,
of the water, some water, duh loh;
de l'homme, duh l'om, of the man.
"Eau" is feminine and "homme" is
masculine, but both begin with a
vowel sound.

NEW WORDS

le bureau de tabac tobacco shop
luh buroh duh taba
le paquet package, bundle
luh pak'e
la cigarette cigarette
la seegar'et
le timbre (-poste) (postage) stamp
luh t'abr (-post)
la boite box
la bwat
une allumette match
un alum'et
le billet bank note, ticket
luh beey'e

EXERCISE
Au Bureau de tabac

Bonjour, madame. Donnez-moi
deux paquets de cigarettes, s'il vous
plait. Combien? Quinze sous pi'ece
(a piece), monsieur. Donnez-moi
aussi dix timbre (-poste) de cinq cen-
times, et deux boites d'allumettes de
trois sous (quinze centimes) pi'ece,
s'il vous plait. Voil'a, monsieur.
Combien, madame? Cigarettes, un
franc dix; timbres, cinquante cen-
times; allumettes, trente centimes.
Un franc quatre ving dix (90) cen-
times, monsieur. Avez-vous la mon-
naie d'un billet de cinquante francs?
Oui, monsieur. Voil'a quarante-huit
francs dix centimes. Merci, mon-
sieur. Au revoir, madame.

LESSON X
SOME PAST FORMS OF THE VERB

J'ai donne', zhe' done', I have given,
gave
Vous avez e'coute', vooz ave'z e'koote',
you have listened, listened
il a mange', eel a m'anzhe', he has
eaten, ate
nous avons fini, nooz av'o feenee, we
have finished, finished
ils ont parle', eelz 'o parle', they have
spoken, spoke
elle a entendu, el a 'aht'ahdu, she has
heard, heard
j'ai e'te', zhe' e'te', I have been, was
il a eu, eel a u, he has had, had

The forms donne', e'coute', mange',
parle', fini, entendu, e'te', eu, are called
past participles, and mean: given,
listened, eaten, spoken, finished,
heard, been, had.

Add -i'eme to deux, trois, etc., to mean
second, third, etc.

Premier, premi'ere, pruhmye,
pruhmy'er, first
deuxi'eme, duhzy'em, second
troisi'eme, trwazy'em, third
quatri'eme, katry'em, fourth
cinqui'eme, s'aky'em, fifth

NEW WORDS

French	Pronunciation	Meaning
le chemin de fer		railway (road of
	shm'a duh fer	iron
le train		train
	tr'a
la voiture		coach, wagon
	vwatur
la gare		station
	gar
la ville		city, town
	veel
le poilu		soldier
	pwalu
la classe		class
	klas
cher		dear, expensive
	sh'er
voyager		travel
	zwayazhe'
voyage'		travelled
	vwayazhe'
demander		to ask for, ask
	duhm'ahde
demande'		asked
	duhm'ahde
offrir		to offer, treat
	ofreer
offert		offered, treated
	of'er
hier		yesterday
	y'er

EXERCISE

1. Make past tenses by prefixing
j'ai, il a, nous avons, vous avez, ils
ont, to the following words: donne',
parle', mange', regarde', e'coute', voy-
age', demande', fini, offert, e'te', eu,
entendu. Repeat them aloud with
meanings.

2. Read aloud and translate these
sentences:

Nous avons e'te' (went) 'a la ville
hier par le chemin de fer. A la gare
j'ai demande' deux billets de troisi'eme
(classe). Nous avons trouve' deux
places dans une voiture avec vingt
cinq poilus. Nous avons parle' de la
guerre. Avez-vous mange' au res-
taurant? Non, dans le train. Les
poilus nous ont donne' (gave us) du
vin. Nous leur avons offert (treated
them to) des cigarettes. Est-ce que
le train a marche' (run) vite? Non,
tr'es lentement. Les voitures fran-
caises (fr'ahs'ez, feminine) sont pe-
tites. Il y a (there are) trois classes
de voitures: premi'ere, deuxi'eme,
troisi'eme. Les officiers voyagent en
premi'ere, mais les poilus voyagent
en troisi'eme. Les billets de premi'ere
(first class tickets) sont tr'es chers.

S. O. S.

Every time you peel your potatoes
raw, the Kaiser thanks you.

VETERINARIANS PUT SOFT
PEDAL ON MULE MUSIC

One of the horrors of war is sleep-
ing in an armory where 105 mules
are quartered--the writer knows. He
has done it. And if discords be the
basis of a symphony the strange
sounds that were resolved as the mule
chorus rose to the roof must have
been a symphony. But this Nocturne
in Mule Music did not strike the writ-
er as anything at all admirable. Even
now, softened as the memory is by
the passing of time, he has no desire
to hear the mule chorus again even if
played by the finest aggregation of
musicians of the country as an accom-
paniment to the internment march
of one Karl Muck.

The mules, faithful animals that
they are, and beloved by every soldier
who has depended upon them for
food transport, have been altogether
too noisy.

They have played a major part in
the army transport but while doing it
have insisted upon telling in a minor
key of the work they have done.

In a word they have attracted the
attention of the Germans. Some-
thing has had to be done. The army
has needed the faithful mule even up
at the very front. The army mule is
indispensible. But the Quarter-
master Department has not yet reach-
ed the efficiency of the Chicago Stock-
yards which use even the pigs' squeal
and the Army has decided upon sur-
gical operations to eliminate the
braying.

Veterinarians have been instructed
to operate upon the mules that are
destined for overseas service and to
do it with the efficiency of the Maxim
silencer.

(With the memory of those nights
in the armory the writer beseeches
the veterinarians to operate similar-
ly upon domestic mules.)

The Anti-Noise Societies would re-
joice at some of the steps that are be-
ing taken by the Army abroad. Of
course there must be the roar of the
big guns. They can't be Maxim si-
lenced--and anyway we are concern-
ed only in silencing the enemies guns
and give no thought to our own.

Even the little tin helmets have
been banned in the front lines. As
men strike the barbed wire entangle-
ments the helmets ring. So woolen
caps have been substituted for front
line wear.

On light railways near the front a
locomotive with a silent motor is in
use.

P. T. E.

Civilian Use of Khaki
Branded as Extravagance

Use of so much khaki-colored cloth
for uniforms for women and men not
connected in any way with the mili-
tary establishment of the country is
deplored by the Army and Navy Jour-
nal. The practice is regarded as par-
ticularly out of keeping with the
times because of the recent shortage
of khaki-colored cloth for uniforms
for soldiers, and the efforts of the
War Department to conserve the sup-
ply.

Under the caption of "The Civilian
Craze for Uniforms," the Army and
Navy Journal said in a recent issue:

"One of the economic extravagan-
ces and wastes ever before the eyes
of the dwellers in our large cities at
the present time is the civilian craze
for uniforms.

"We have scarcely recovered from
the turbulent agitation aroused over
the shortages is army uniforms when
we see more and more men and wom-
en in khaki-colored uniforms that
range from close imitations of those
of the British army to very bad copies
of our own army patterns.

"It is to be noted in this connec-
tion that the hardest workers among
the civilians attached to our canton-
ments and camps in the capacity as
entertainers or "social workers" usu-
ally wear a costume of so simple a
pattern and so unobstrusive a color as
scarcely to be worth calling a military
uniform and which certainly makes
no pretensions to anything of that
kind. But in the ordered and pro-
tected social world of our larger cities
one sees young women in uniforms
that (making allowances for the brief
skirts) are practically those of the
British, French and Belgian army
patterns.

"Moreover, the street railway com-
panies have elected to dress their
women conductors in uniforms of
khaki color with puttees and a
wretched imitation of the Army gar-
rison cap, the whole presenting a sar-
torial horror, a feminine travesty, and
a shocking wastage of cloth that in
the near future may be vitally needed
for the men we will have to send to
France."

THEY'LL ENJOY IT

When you finish reading this copy
of Trench and Camp send it home for
your relatives to read. They will en-
joy the paper as much as you do.