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Waterloo 11th. Mo. 9th., 1861 I hear that my beloved sister is letter from sister Ann does not arrive. There have been good reasons, arising from my business, instructing the children &. besides that many small earned seem to cut of my time into small brits, and then come
the means of recovering [deleted]thy[/deleted] his loan for much as I wish it may all fall to [deleted]thee & thine[/deleted] him & his, I would live in poverty, than wade in the chilling stream such a procedure as this would involve. I have not yet heard the Dr's. destination, but it is probably Cuba, hope to hear soon.
I should have rejoiced in a visit from and with you here among you loved ones, but could not obtain for you even the moiety I had hoped to; and if R. could not obtain the other, we must relinquish all hope of meeting this season at least. I beg you will not imagine me in trouble, dear Sister, for I owe L. M. but about $[11?], and can manage to do without a few articles, that I had thought the approaching winter would demand, and but for means of helping my poor Br. R. who needs my assistance I should think myself well off and indeed compared with many in this trying season I do think I have no cause to complain. I am surrounded with comfort and kindness, and, in my [underline]own particular[/underline], have nothing to sigh for, but a release from my little school, which I wish to continue until Jane Gordon arrives, when I hope to relinquish a business for which my age and infirmities have disqualified me; for though my health is much improved, my memory is very poor, and claiming no authority, I am easily perplexed. I am thankful however that Divine aid is never sought for in vain, but is ever near, preserving me from procuring
self-reproach.
My allusion to trials of this nature together with what thou knowest of the children will furnish a pretty full reply to some of thy queries respecting them. They are all dear to me, but I do not wish to have any management of them. Fanny learns temper of the others, but is a very interesting child, and makes sport for all the family.
Thy first mention of our mutual acquaintances, is of W. & N. Clark, and of Ann's ill health. I hope you soon went to see them, and in such a visit, I would gladly have joined you. They have been frequently on my mind, and yet I think not often at the time of writing, and I wondered at it afterwards and wished I had conveyed to thee my kind remembrance of them. When writing to any one in my long loved home, those whom I had been most accustomed to see there, of course would present to my mind most readily, but Nancy is often remembered.
How has Ann been as regards her spirits, pretty much resigned, or unconscious of her danger and alarmed? I hope W. & N. retain their health, and that their son is doing well; and that Michal's family are prospering.
It is a great blessing to your family that thou art able to keep at the helm, and direct the movements of the vessel, but it seems wonderful to me, and I look at the improvement in thy health, like that of my own, as almost a miracle, and thank Heaven that
thou art spared to us all, and that if Earth is to be thy Sister's home a little longer, she also hopes for a small degree of usefulness, as in such a family as ours there are small things, almost nothings to do which if she were not in it, would & must occupy the time of one whose hours are very precious. So thou seest she is a little better than nothing yet; & is quite resigned to life while the hope is afforded that her sun will set as soon as her usefulness ceases.
I learnt by Ann that dear Ruth Barker whom, when thou wrote me, thou wast expecting, did make thee a pleasant visit, but by thy silence respecting Patience, I think she must be much better.
I feel even now grieved that I could not have seen dear Lillis Orvis, for now it is as it was before, doubtful whether we ever meet again in this world and it is not easy for me to reconcile the loss of time that must elapse between the times of our parting here and our meeting there, yet the more patience we encourage the more easy is the parth of endurance. Lillis was one of my first intimates in F. out of our own family, and though we have not always of late years seen thro' the same glasses, I have always loved her for her sincerity & faithfulness to apprehended duty, and hope she has cherished the same feeling towards me, and with similar charity.
I suppose Ann told you all about G. Truman's visit here, and how Jane Hunt called for me, and took me with them to meeting [deleted]there[/deleted] at Galen a regular meeting of the Friends. He evinced an earnestness in the family where
where we dined, to have me brought into their Mo. Meeting, and that they should fetch me occasionally six or seven miles to attend meetings with [underline]them[/underline]; but this I discouraged, as I might not be either able or ready when they should come. Besides as much as I enjoyed being with them that day, I could not now be bound to any religious society tho' if I were near a regular meeting of liberal Friends, it would be desirable to attend it when able; and she must have informed you that she & Lloyd went to the meeting, and that George called upon us a day or two afterwards, and with all his usual artlesness gave us a description of one instance of his spirit mediumship - one perhaps out of many of his own experience, for he said more than a hundred of similar cases had come under his knowledge; yet he did not speak of himself as a medium but as one singularly required and qualified to perform a remarkable thing. You doubtless learnt all the circumstance from Ann. I of course wanted to know more of the power, and as he and his wife were to set off homeward next morning, I sent him three or four queries by letter, such as whether this power was a continual favor or one only occasionally dispened for the benefit of those who were not past cure; whether he did not think it was [deleted]not[/deleted] the same that actuated the faithful healing mediums throghout the country; whether he thought the Spirits of the departed are qualified to aid us in our earthly progress; and if so, whether he believed it more difficult
[in left margin:]
I wish not to trouble thee with this it is for Rowland.
