Letter from Sarah, dated 1864-03-27

Hesper 3rd mo 27th 1864.

My very dear Cousin

Thy long anxiously looked for letter came to hand a few days since, and I embrace the first opportunity to inform thee, that though eagerly received, some of its contents were read with deep emotions, [strikeout]a[/strikeout] akin to sorrow, and when I reflect on what thou must have endured for those long [weary?] months of suspense, how does all I ever suffered sink into insignificance! I had for months feared some calamity had befallen thee, or some one of those dear to thee, and thy heart was too sad & too much occupied with thy grief, to waste a thought on thy unworthy friend; I had thought and dreamed of thee so often, and spoken of writing again so many times, that my husband has enquired a number of times if I had "written to Rachel this week," I invariably told him I would wait one week more thinking surely the next mail would bring the desired [underline]boon[/underline].

It must require strong faith to expect ever to see a feeble frame immerge from that lothesome, pestilential prison. It causes a heart-sickness, when ever I think of those poor unfortunate men who are draging out a miserable existance there, while their companions are dying daily around them, it is great cause of thankfulness that thy dear Wm can say he has enough to eat, I rejoice to think he has fared better than [underline]very many[/underline], and if his health continues to improve, there seems a fair prospect of your being gladened by his presence at no very distant day.

though I still trouble for him as well as thee, thinking what he must [strikeout]still[/strikeout] yet endure, before that joyful day dawns.

We will try to hope, and trust it may be soon, and that not only he, but all who are confined in those horrid sotheern prisons, may be permited to return to their homes & friends. I have often thought if James was favored to keep out of them I would try to be thankful and not repine, though he has suffered a great deal, he was taken at Vicksburg with fever & ague, which was very severe on him, it continued for several weeks, when that was subdued the forepart of seventh month, a [underline]chronic[/underline], diarhea prevailed in camp, many thought it was occasioned by the water from a certain [underline]well[/underline], which they used. What ever the cause it seemed to cling to them like a pestilence, and carried of very many of their strongest healthiest men, James wrote from Port Hudson, whither they went from Vicksburg, that their "best men, who were always ready for duty, who carried the heaviest lods in their knapsacks lie buried, unshrouded, and uncoffined with nothing but their uniform to cover them, and not well white men enough in their company to dig their graves." he says, "For a long time I thought of little but whether I should live through it or not watching the dead and dying around me the while," at length they were removed to New Orleans where their situations on some accounts was much better, the air was pure and healthy not tainted with the pestilention vapor which surrounded them at Port Hudson, there too they could purchase at enormas prices, a few delicaces, of which they had been so long deprived and which seemed almost indispensible as they [?] eat the army rations to enable them to totter about, but here one of his most intimate friends Muhlon Everett gave up and

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soon died in the hospital, the stroke was severely felt by Wm H. Johnson and James at least, as they all went from Hesper, were firm friends, and congenial in their views and tastes, the two that were left were walking skeletons, so unable to be about at all were not confined to their cots much but the least exertion over comes them. James once got a furlough to come home, with many others, but the [underline]head[/underline] surgeon came 'round in the night, so drunk that he was not fit to judge in any case, he called the men out of their beds, and many who were in reality not able to do so managed to make their appearance in the hope of having their furlough confirmed, but to their utter astonishment he threw out about three hundred, of whom James was one. So he has not been home, and we have no reason to expect him untill the end of this awful strife if he should live to see that time. he once wrote, "Ever since we went to Vicksburg my life has been one continual struggle, - not for health but for existance. - On the 23rd of 10th mo. their Regiment went on board ship for Texas, he being a little better for a few days accompanied them, but Wm H. Johnson was left sick in the hospital, with the expectation of coming home as soon as able, it was no doubt a very trying parting to them both but J. was cheered with the hope that this "sea voyage," would be beneficial to his health, and Wm with that of soon meeting his devoted young wife, and many dear friends, but alas poor boy, he never left the hospital he died on the 19th of 11th mo. - Very sad news indeed to his friends here who had been expecting his arrival, his father and mother are both feeble, she is one of the most sensitive persons I have ever met with, [when?] devoted to

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Thou wilt not wonder that I often feel very lonely.

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to her family, an elder in society. We feared it would shorten her day - they had lost two sons before within a few years, had only one left and two daughters - I didnot hear of it in a month after we did. I'm writing the day the news reached them he said it was [underline]very sad awful news to him[/underline], but then he thought of Mary, how could she be consoled would it not almost kill her; but he says - "I know she has a firm trust in Providence which will not forsake her in this her great trial."

He with many others suffered verily from seasickness, but they landed safe after a long boisterous [passad?] of about two weeks.

They are encamped at Brownsville, on the Rio Grand opposite Matamoras, the Rebels destroyed everything before they left, and it appears to be a barren, unhealthy, inhospitable clime, [Jas?] thinks a northern man can not live there through the summer their rations have been short all the while, and such as he was unable to eat for along time, but his health is much better he attributes it to being able to purchase of the settlers a part of his food, he paid 50 cts. for two thirds of a pound of butter which did more toward curing him than all the medicine he had taken, though it was such as he would not have eaten at [underline]home[/underline], eggs are 12 1/2 cts a piece. It is no wonder it has taken all his wages to furnish him with a few necessaries for mind and body, as he could dispense with one about as well as the other, he has been sadly put to it for reading matter, he carried a small pocket bible with him, which was all he took from home, depending on purchasing.

He is still a clerk in the Adjutants Office, for which I am thankful as it excuses him from more unpleasent duties, though it procures him no better pay, he has never recieved more than 13 dollars per month. It is said he might have the [Adjutery?] only the laws do not allow a man to step from a private right in to the [underline]Adjutants shoes[/underline]. - The time is approaching for the long dreaded draft to take place, there has been none in this state yet, but the call for [underline]more men[/underline], keeps coming and no doubt the draft will reach us at last, not our family in [?], that is already reduced too small to furnish another subject for this [underline]terrible war[/underline]. We frequently read accounts of [parents?] having 8 or 10 and not long since of eleven in the army. Well we have parted with all we have and none can do more. I hope it will not take another of thy boys. I don't know but this sword that has been suspended so long over the heads of those liable to the draft may have had the effect to make them more thoughtful

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My dear R. don't conclude that I for a moment have felt that we were entitled to more considerations and sympathy than others, far from it. In the situation thou hast [fronted?] with more, but

Thy acquaintances, in their parts are all enjoying [unev?] health as far as I know, Nicholas & Martha Battey spent a day with us a few days week ago for the first time for a long time. we live a mile from a road that they travel often. [X?] has so much work, and business, on hand he seldom finds time for visiting, and Martha is unable to walk much, their three daughters were all at home. George is still at Iowa City & attending school. Mary and Lydia would like to take schools this summer, but Martha thinks all about here are supplied with teachers, perhaps thou hast heard that Benjamin & Caroline Allen, lost their little son by Diphtheria in the winter. Caroline's health I think is better than formerly. James Chase and Wife have been healthier too. Abbey F. was married not long since to [?Judor or Tudor?] Meader, a near neighbor. Lydia [?Jabor or Tabor?]'s health has been quite poor most of the winter; it is better Horace and Caroline live there yet with their choice little one. She is very strong and not a little mischievous, requiring strict looking after and no small show of patience from her very particular grandmother, who thinks she must not be [?crassed?], hope they will not spoil her by indelgance.

We spent a day at Amos Battey's a few weeks ago. they seem to live very nice, and comfotable. J. H. and Wife with their sweet little baby make part of the family. Lucy Morison came over and spent the day, and Zeno and Chara came to tea, Joshua [?Gove?] and Wife (formerly Candice Worth) visited with us, so we had quite company. They are all pleasantly situated nearby except Joshua who lives several miles away.

[top note:] I think I have told thee sometime ago, that our mail goes out on sixth days, and most of it comes in on that day. N. is now going to the [Post Office]. I have been writing to James, Henry, May [?Dole?], allmost the only one remaining of [?Jofids?] in the 38th is now at home, recruiting men for the Army, he expects [?home?] for the Regiment tomorrow morning, says he doesn't know how he could do without James, or [James] without him. -

A letter from Mary A. Peckham, a sort time since informs us her health is about the same, never very good, it appears she continues to be from home a good deal on a religious account, her father, and mother are both quite [feeble?].

Brother B. writes he has been confined to the house several weeks this winter, and Marian was unable to walk at all she having little or no use of her left side. Robert B. their second son was drafted in ninth month and another young friend of that meeting, brother said if they had been plain consistent friends and were consciencious about bearing [underline]arms[/underline] he should have recommended their giving themselves up to the authorities to do as they saw fit with them but as that was not the case, he advised them to pay their $300, and remain at home which they did, though they were inclined to take the field. A new son in law was also drafted but he got cleared for some trifling affair about one foot, he was not a member.

I am truly glad to hear such favorable accounts of thy children, hope they will long live to be a comfort to thine [underline]dear mother[/underline], and thou wilt never fear after reading this letter my thinking thee foolish for telling any thing of thy children. I feel a deep interest in them all wish I could know more particulars concerning them & their mother. But have had many misgivings as to much of what I have written paying the [? ], N. who sits by and sees how much paper I have covered says I shall weary thou but when I get to writing so many things come to my mind to say that I hardly know where to stop and have not the faculty to select, and condense the most important, so thou wilt please excuse me and consider me as ever thy affectionate cousin Sarah

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28th When I stoped at the bottom of the other page, I did not expect to write any more at this time but as this is still on hand, and I thought of several things I had intended to say, have ventured to soil this and run the risk, of hearing Dr Botley, (our P.M.) say, "another [underline]stamp[/underline please."

Yes, friends and others already here have done a great deal, [?] for the relief of the suffering freed men. I too have considered it particularly the business of friends to contribute largely as they themselves have been prospered. Russel Tabor has been the most liberal of any one I have known of, he got up a subscription paper headed it with $100. dollars and presented it at one of their little meetings and got $[240.00?].

At our Mo. Meeting for the meeting house thou understands they raised $200. it was all sent together to an agent I think at York Town, Virginia. Thou wilt at once percieve that there is a disproportion, as this is a large mo. meeting, and several individuals in Hesper who are each as wealthy as R. Tabor, and the whole mo. meeting subscribed only twice as much as Russel, but it seems very hard for some to loosen their purse strings. The [underline]will[/underline] does not always accompany the [Power?]; - it always has been so I believe and probably always will.

What a treasure thou hast in thy precious daughters! I do not covet [underline]them[/underline], as that would be [underline]very wrong[/underline], but I can in some measure appreciate what [underline]they[/underline] must be to [underline]thee[/underline]. I often feel very lonely, though we have many kind friends.

It must be a great comfort to have thy sister where thou can visit her occasionally, and Paulina for a neighbor - some one asked me a short time since if her son was married.