Letter from Harry Massey to Barbara Massey

Letter No. 93. Saturday - 17th Jan Capt J.H.Massey, 6th Palestinian Coy, The Bluffs, Middle East Forces My own darling Barbara, It seems that my life out here is to become ever funnier, before it becomes better - or before I come home. Another of my battles is now won & on Monday Ben became Captain Ben Arzi. And Salomon goes & Headley goes & I am all by myself. It sounds more Tragic & Terrible than it really is but still it is quite a break. If only because I shall have no more poeple from England in my mess - but I spend so little of my time there, & neither of them are particularly interesting. Ben will be equally as good as Salomon as far as administration & accounts & so on are concerned - probably better - It remains to be seen whether he can or will be of any help in chasing the subalterns around. And Headley, as I have told you is more of an obstruction than a help & is more complacent than my patience can cope with. I am to get another Jewish subaltern from another Coy, but my hopes are not too high that he will be of much use as they will almost certainly send their worst, unless Col. L. controls it & instructs them who to send. In any case, there are bound to be difficulties as the Coy he is coming from is frightfully slack & ragtime. Ben is elated & doing his best to conceal his delight - & he is itching to put up the extra pips but cannot do so until it is confirmed - an annoying formality. Sgt Lareny has now been promoted C.S.M. C.SM. Jack having been in hospital since before Xmas & having become fed up with having no sergeant-major. And so here I am, as I said, all alone , & enjoying the doubtful distinction of being the first

of these Coys to become all Jewish, with the exception of the C.O. Salamon & Ben & I went to Tel Aviv on Wednesday for the purpose of celebrating & with the express intention of getting a bit boozed. We had 3 large Gins & Frenches here before we left in order to give ourselves a good start at reasonable prices. We then went to Pilz & stayed there from 7.30 until midnight. The food is really excellent there, & the band frightfully good. We did not dance of course - but just sat there & ate & drank & watched the people & listened to the music & enjoyed it very much, & just got nicely boozy - the way you like me to! Tomorrow we are going in again, together with Headley, for a fairwell party - but this time more quietly. Food at an exGerman place which is very good & reasonably priced, & then to see a film called "Underground" & then a couple of beers & home. And after all this I shall probably not go out again for several weeks. It is a dull & miserable life, & I hate it. But you have no need to feel particularly sorry for me because being away from you is the cause of the whole matter. I suppose I would much prefer it if, during this last year, I had seen the Desert & Crete & Cyprus & Malta & the enemy - & that during the coming months I may see the Caucasus, & Iran & maybe Bulgaria & Turkey - & meet Russians. Provided I could have seen & will see all these places & people - & still return to you whole & unharmed - I suppose

it would be much more interesting. But if it were like that, you would have to worry constantly about my safety, survival - & I should have much less time to write you letters -& many of your letters would possibly fail to find me. And so we should be missing & worrying about each other even far more that at present & life would be hovering around the limit of what can be endured. It is all a question of missing you & longing for you - which indicates of course just how happy I was & how much I loved you - & just how happy I expect to be again & how much I shall be able to put into effect my love for you again. Time seems to go along quickly, from week to week & weekend to week-end & so on - but it now does feel an age since we parted from each other at Gobowen. It is 16 1/2 months, which is a long time, & a tragic slice out of lives such as ours, at a tragic time too. But it seems so long ago, darling. It is unbearable to have to be away from you, from Maxie - & I never stop thinking so, longing & pining for you. I think, sweetheart, that when I come home, at first I shall want to hold you very tight in my arms, and lay my head on your breasts, & just cry. The relief, the happiness & joy are going to be too great. I do hope we shall be able to find a house, even a temporary one, that we shall not have to hang about for any length of time in rooms or hotels. As we have both, apparently, firmly decided, our house & home is very important, & must be lovely in every way. But if we cannot find quickly what we want, we must find something else

as early as possible,& look for the other at our leisure, but not too leisurely, & don't settle down in the imperfect one, as we did in Not Lane. The one trouble is that I can picture the really awful sacker which is going to go on after the war, in houses & building materials - unless the Government really & truly step in & control things.

Tuesday, Jan 20th Dearest darling - I had an A.G. dated Dec 18 yesterday, & two PCs today from Dec 21th & Jan 1st. There is no doubt that PCs are much quicker on the average. But you get rather more on an A.G. in spite of your writing on both sides of the PC. Your AG writing gets smaller & smaller but is 100% legible. I wonder are we having a competition because I have been reducing mine too, & squeezed in 29 lines on the last one, but you have beaten me by two.

They were lovely darling, & I contained all kind of bits of news which I wanted to hear.

I am so pleased that the slippers arrived & are alright. But how infuriating that a pair of stockings were pinched. That is really a bit thick, & must be what comes of having to declare the contents on the outside of the parcel.

It is time I sent you another parcel, & I must have a look round & see what I can find.

And on New Year's Eve, you wondered if I was thinking of you! You can imagine how much, my darling. But I enjoyed my last New Year more really- & I believe I never told you

about it. Rex went out to some party, for which I was not unthankful. And Jack had had to move down to the other mess & was doing Orderly officer. He left me at about 11-0, & the people in the mess were behaving very foolishly & so I slipped off to bed. I undressed, & cleaned my teeth & so on, & got into bed, & mixed myself an enormous whiskey & soda. And when my watch showed midnight, I passed your photo round my back & to the front again, gave it some very large & loving kisses & drank your health. I then lay back & slowly drank my drink, & gazed at you & thought about you - & then put out the light. Rex came in shortly after, & asked me if I was awake, but I played possum. It made me feel very sad, but somehow happy - & I should have much preferred to have done the same this year, but it seemed to be too unsociable. I [must underlined] be home by this time next year. I find it impossible to imagine having to wait even as long as that. Private manoeuvres apart - I feel now that Germany will be finished inside 6 months. That is not a 100% conviction, but I feel it quite strongly. Russia, I am sure, will not now let go, & allow Germany a chance to recover & reform. Therefore Germany's only chance is to counter attack successfully & I do not believe she can do it. Surely then, within 2-3 months we must attack too - & when we do, it will be with overwhelming force & will be very quick

It may be through France, or Norway, or both - & then those countries can get up again & others follow on. I have a fear, though, probably entirely wrong - that when Russia has driven the German Army from Russia, she may pack up. She has so little for which to thank us - rather the opposite - & she would by then be secure in a feeling that she had the measure of the German Army once & for all. And then she could turn on Japan - [not underlined] to help us, but to free herself from yet another menace [& underlined] control China. This may be all bunk, but I still feel that it must be considered. The Russians are such super realists & can you blame them, after the way in which we fucked & buggered them about before the war. And maybe they foresee, or are afraid that after this war, we shall merely revert to such politics again. My one consolation is, that if I feel this, & am anywhere near the truth, Churchill's people like Bevan & Morrison will realise it too, & that will be only another reason why we shall attack soon - in order to show our earnest quality. I am a little worried, because Stafford Cripps is coming back from Moscow. And his successor, Sir something Clerk - Kerr, has both a title & a double

barrelled name. It may be quite in order, but I cannot find anything out about this man. Possibly S. Cripps is being brought back to lead the Labour Party, because they will be the party in power after the first general election after the war, & then his special knowledge will be of such value. If so, what an amazing about face. He was chucked out of the Labour Party about 3 years ago. But I remain a little afraid - & feel that instead of us going towards Russia's way of life - we are going to try to bring Russia towards ours - or else protect ourselves from her influence. Now that a successful end of the war is in sight, one can see the bankers & big business boys looking ahead again - & [Peking ?] avoiding action. and even Winston Churchill - in spite of his wonderful powers as a leader & tactician & master of strategy - he is very much of an aristocrat & ruling class man. And the U.S.A. may have ideas too. I hope I am all wrong. ? ? ? my way to return to the defeat of Germany. Then, there remains Japan. Ben & I feel that [ ?] troops would be brought home - & regulars or volunteers, or younger men sent to the F.E. You mentioned in your AG about coming out here. I think I have pretty well said so

by now - but I entirely agree with you, darling. It is [ not underlined] safe enough for you & Maxie - or even you by yourself. And not for a moment would I ask you to leave Max behind - it is quite unthinkable. The Med is [ not underlined] open - air travel is impossible - & the long journey is too long & submarines are about. So, that is the end of that - & now it all rests with my attempts to be posted home, which I shall never give up - or else the end of the war, at least in this part of the world. I keep on saying so, my sweetheart, but I can hardly imagine being with you again. I look at your photographs now - & think of you & remember you - & it is too much for me. It is so incredibly & wonderfully & indescribably more lovely & happy than my present condition - to have you to be with all day, to talk to, to take an interest in, love & make love to - & you to do all those things to me. And as well as all this, to see Maxie for the first time & to get to know my own child. It is almost too much, isn't it darling. But even though it is, I shall be able to stand it so well - & it must please happen soon. It is taking my breath away, to think about you, Barbara darling, & to remember that you love me & want me as much as I love & worship & want you. All my dearest love forever - & to Maxie XXX Harry

BY AIR MAIL PAR AVION PASSED BY CENSOR 2464 Mrs. H. Massey Norton House Park Lane Beaconsfield Bucks