Letter from Anna Q. T. Parsons to Marianne Dwight Orvis

Wednesday - March 4th 1846

God be with you - guard & guide you all, my own dear Marinanne - What can I say to you that you do not know how we have tho't of you - felt for you - hoped for you - prayed for you - the livelong day - Marianne - how is this event to affect you - who owns - (?) - owned the Phalanstery - Was it insured? How did it happen? We have all day been tortured by suspense - As I went to History?? class - "fire - fire - fire" an invisible spirit whispered & it seemed to suffocate me - A few minutes after I went in an editor came to the door to enquire "if Miss P - knew anything of the particulars of the burning of the Phalanstery" - Do you think I passed much of the morning in Ancient Greece? I was rather stunned and then was relieved - so often have I seen the flames pouring from those windows - so strongly have I felt that it must be a prey to fires - ^{Have I not said so to you} & it was a relief that it shld have gone before it was inhabited What wd. I not give to see you - to know how you are feeling - & what thinking - It seems to me - to all outward appearance that this must be a death blow to you & yet I cannot feel deeply depressed about it - I am anxious - but only for the present - for the immediate effect - so sure am I that you have placed yr hand firmly in the hand of the all Loving & All Powerful that I can have no fears - no doubts as to the Ultimate result -

Ere I [??] this morning I write you a most earnest letter - blaming you & exhorting you - There are many hungering & thirsting for the bread of life wh. you associationists possess - I do not believe I am deceived, the feeling of disenitent & utter dissatisfaction is very very strong in the minds of many & the conviction also that a better way must be found & a willingness ^{a desire} to walk in the path if found - Among these seekers - these wishers - you wd. find many doubtless who cd. aid you with money & personally - & [???] have you a right to keep these people starving if you can by any possibility

[original text crossed out] - Supply then need without now, if you are scattered for a while here is one field wh. is shile for the lamest - But you cannot be disbanded. Supposing the worst that cd. be - shld you separate forever - yr. experiment has not been a failure - how much it has taught of the power & beauty of the relations - that love - truth - justice are not mere abstractions - yr. experience wd be a valuable legacy to the race - But you have yet a mighty, [??] before you - Courage - finness - Unfaltering faith - the sin against the holy ghost the unforgivable sin wd be a lack of faith - & this I do not believe will be yours) ( The girls have past returned from a ball & the hubbub is not very agreeable) but good Mr H. Channing blessed us with a lay call this afternoon Mary Bullard came in with Fanny's letter & we &Helen had a exciting talk - Poor fellow - He was suffering very deeply - We are all men in a like state of ignorace & longing to know - It did us all much good to see him - He will come to you tomorrow full of hope and encouragement I trust - Helen sends love & says she did not know how deep her interest in you was - She has felt completely sick even since the shock this morning - Her first announcement was from the newspaper wh father sent up - in wh it was stated that all the buildings were burnt Of course she knew that can't be - I may of course also feel deeply. What a terrible beauty there must have been in the light I met Fred Cabt & spontaneously asked about the Phalandery Wh me! Marianne - Fred is feeling very badly - He feels that human being was never treated quite so badly as he has been by you at B. T - He seems to believe he has acted from the highest & best motives - that he has done all that was right & honorable by you & to feel greatly outraged - Mary B was with me & our talk was pretty animated is coming Friday afternooon to make a full statement of all the facts as he sees them - Now dear Marianne if you can & think it worth while please give me yr note of the case - I believe "all battle is misunderstanding" & I shld

like & see into this matter - I suppose I shall go to Roxbury tomorrow to Lucy Goddends I shall not be in before ^twelve o' clock Friday noon - Shall I find a letter then - but Marriane I do not wish to be unreasonable - I wd not have a letter to trouble you - & I am well assured you will write as soon as possible.

After speaking of the loss of the Phalaustery - Fred said it mt be an advantage - it gave you a good excuse for failing - wh you ought to do - He spoke of you as insolent & judging him from his remarks I shld feel you were in a wholly hopeless condition - in every way, hopeless - I wd tell you but cannot write what he said - he asserted his right to express his opinion - &c &c - I feel a great interest in Fred but I fear the devils rage just now. Oh! woman - woman how much have you to answer for.

Dora wrote me Sunday - "she hopes you do not forget at B.J - You cd not if you knew how much she thot of you." Poor child how taxing will be this sad intelligence to her with no one sympathising soul to console with - I shall write her as soon as I know anything myself And no friends in revnant Heaven bless them may this trial work in them new faith & hope. I did not know thing my hope was - how great my faith for you & in you till now - It seems to me I must grow strong & well at once that I may be able to do some good work for you ere I die. How great must be your joy that the hopes & prayers of all the good are yrs - All good spirits watch you lovingly - the Almighty hold you in the hollow of his hand - The Lords name be praised.

Anna Q T Parsons

[writing on left hand margin] How are the people affected & Mr Ripley? Your Mother? John Chs Dana? - My heart goes out in love to you all

Helen I have heard Emerson lecture on Napoleon this evening - I felt an interest in Napoleon for the first time On his forward! forward In the face of every calamity & his consequent victory - for I thort of youDo you suppose a pay party with addresses & music cd be arranged, for Louise's birthday here - or what think you of a private concert at Chkerings rooms - Ask Fanny if she will come & play oh! me how dandy it is to scheme - & how hard it is to get money -

[middle column] Marianne Dwight Brink Farm Phalaux Nr Roxbury Mas

[right column] Thursday morning no news yet & I was impatientLucy Goddard has just been in says Ms Sloane is feeling very badly is willing to do anything & everything for associativeis thoroughly vested to the causeLucy & Mrs Peabody think that they ought to help them suffering neighbors & townspeople & think they ought to have their Annual May fair for their benefitOh! Marianne what wd, I not give just to look at you & then I shld know the whole - How Good it wd be to see yr bright smiling face & When you say - "Not so badly off as you think Dont you pity me I am compelled to go to a party at Joseph Parsons Friday nightWd you?