(seq. 22)

[36]

the probable causes of Lucy's
seeming fault _ It seemed
to me that she could not
ascribe pure motives to any
of our Reformers, & while to her
it seemed, that I was blindly
bound to see no fault, however
glaring - At length in the
anguish of any soul, I said
Mrs. Rose, "there is not one in
the Reform ranks, whom you
think true, not one but whom
panders to the popular feeling -
She answered I can't help it,
I take them by the words of their
own mouths. I trust all until
their own words or acts declare
them false to truth & right. &
continued she, no one can tell
the hours of anguish I have
suffered, as one after another
I have seen those whom I had
trusted, betray falsity of motive,
as I have been compelled to place
one after another on the list of
panderers to public favor - said
I, do you know Mrs. Rose, that I
can but feel that you place me
too on that list. said she, I will

[37]
[April /54]

tell you, when I see you untrue.

A silence ensued, while I copied
the verse from the hymn sung
at Church this A.M., & subscribed
it Susan B. Anthony, for her dear
friend Ernestine L. Rose, as I handed
it to her, I observed tears in her
eyes, said I Mrs. Rose, have I
been wicked, & hurt your feelings,
She answered, no, but I expect
never to be understood while I
live" __ her anguish was extreme
I too wept, for it filled my soul
anguish to see one so noble,
so true (even though I felt I could
not comprehend her) so bowed
down, so overcome with deep
swelling emotions -- At length
she said, no one knows how I
have suffered from not being
understood" __ I know you must
suffer & heaven forbid that I
should add a feather weight to
your burdens __

Mrs. Rose is not appreciated, nor
cannot be by this age -- she is too
much in advance of the extreme
altruists even, to be understood by them --

Almost every reformer, feels that