Maud Wood Park Papers (Woman's Rights Collection). Personal and Biographical. "Journal for the year 1880.". WRC-Pa, folder Pa-1. Schlesinger Library, Radcliffe Institute, Harvard University, Cambridge, Mass.

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(seq. 11)

was a little white but he said in answer to the look Miss Stone was very nearly run over She fell on the crossing & there was a Signature means sign. sleigh Signature is placed at the beginning coming of the staff. which Signature contains clef key and time barely The clef places G. on the second line escaped The figures tell the time going over The sharps and flats the key, and her. May are placed between the clef and time tried to A scale is 8 sounds in regular order add that but for him the sleigh would have gone over her but she only sobbed the harder Mrs Merriam who saw at once that May had lost her self-control took off her wraps soothing her with gentle hands & urging her to go up-stairs & lie down But May was determined to conquer herself & when Mrs Merriam saw this she began to talk to Harry on indifferent subjects. By & by the crying grew fainter & fainter & after a time May said impulsively I hope you won't think me a perfect idiot for acting so [?] the feeling of what a horrible death it would have been flashed across me suddenly & I could not help it. I have thought sometimes--I suppose everybody has--that it would be a pleasant thing to die. but O my God that [sled?] [driving?] was dreadful I had a glimpse of the horse's hoofs as they it came but I didn't mind so much then I seemed to be numb stupefied & it was all over in a minute but when I tried to tell you [I remember?]

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[find?] how awful it was. You must not talk any more about it dear interrupted Mrs. Merriam. We can understand how you felt. But you haven't told me what it was that saved you. It was Mr Phillips said May he was behind me & he ran & dragged me away a second later he couldn't have done it I can't thank him I don't know how if But Harry [hi?] be in don't say any more about it please Miss Stone anyone could have done what I did if you only knew how thankful I am that it was in time, I can't bear to think of it said Mrs Merriam who was white & cold herself at the idea of May's danger. Let's try to talk about something else. It had been just dusk when May & Harry & out of consideration for May's tear-stained face Mrs Merriam did not have the lamp lighted so they sat in the twilight until May declared that she must go home. Just as they were leaving the same Mrs Merriam said I have almost forgotten that I intended to write to you Mr Phillips if I had not seen you to-night Miss Stone & a few other of the young people are coming to spend a little time with me next Wednesday evening & I should be glad to have you make one of them. Harry accepted the invitation gladly & Mrs. Merriam added that she would like to have him feel at liberty to call any Wednesday when she was usually at home. When Harry left May at the When Harry reached the her gate May held out her hand & said impulsively I wish you would promise me that if ever I can attempt to repay you in any way little or great you will let me do it. Harry looked at her for a

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minute & then said Miss Stone perhaps you will think that what I am going to say is chilled & unnatural but indeed I say it with all my heart. The chance of being of use to you is the greatest pleasure that could come to me. May withdrew her hand & with a confused good-night went in. Harry went on down the street without the slightest idea what he was doing When he came to a corner he stopped & remembered that he wanted to go home into the house where he lived & that he was walking in precisely the opposite direction. WhenHe went directly to his room when he did reach the house took a book [one?] of the new novels & sat down to read When supper-time came he went down-stairs but in spite of his effort he could eat nothing. He tried to keep himself from thinking of what had happened from the vision of May's white face that was continually [rising?] up before him & so he read feverishly eagerly until after midnight. But it was of no ended use for when the book was finished & he went to bed the [tarnished?] thoughts came up with more than the reappeared. Finally he decided that he might as well think of it all was it have done with it. The thing that troubled him was that the words, in the shock of May's great danger he had suddenly realized that he had for her a feeling which he tried to express in words when he told he that to be of service to her was the greatest pleasure that could come to him. He thought on his whole life & his feeling for other girls whom he had known

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He had alway s been a little romantic had dreamed of an ideal love & all that but since it had become clear to him that there was little probability of his realizing his ideal of himself he had told himself that love was not for him that he was not fit for the kind of girl that he wanted & that the kind he might have he didn't care for Before Except May he had never known anyone who had tempted him It h[?]k his resolution & until that night he had not supposed that he had that kind of feeling for her. He had seen her very frequently for four months & he had enjoyed talking with her being near her but it was only when there was danger of her being taken away that he realized knew that she had come to be the first & best interest in his life. He was obliged to admit this to himself that she was so much to him it was no use to fight against the conviction he was certain that if he were [someone?] [like?] a man in Mr. Saunder's position for instance he would go the next day & ask her to be his wife. And that thought brought him to wondering what he was going to do. It would absurd for him to think of marrying under any circumstances if things were different though at that he did not know that May cared in the least for him will makeno little difference for then he would have a right to try to make her love him but now heas it was and he must not attempt to do that In a way it seemed ridiculous to even stop to think count of the reasons why he should not think of her being his wife they were so many & yet an [increase?] math hoping against hope made him go over them again & again. In the first place the

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would be years before he could offer her a home as good as her father's and he knew her well enough to see that she was ambitious & not contented with the one she had so she would not be likely to be willing to share a poorer one. Then he himself could was not approach her ideal he knew. She [blunt?] unchipped refinement & was educated above those around her. She must marry with a higher class not a lower, What chance was there of her caring for him. He must not even wish her to care for him. And then there were others who might easily be considered suitors of hers, there was Ned who frankly said that she was the only girl who had any special interest for him & he felt sure that Mr. Saunders regarded her with something more than ordinary liking. These thoughts & others like them kept coming to him through the night & still he could not say to himself it israther could not make himself act as though it were truly hopeless & impossible. Meantime May had told her adventure & been scolded for her carelessness & rejoiced over for her escape. But she had time to think little about it for her father had something to tell of interest to them all. A young man had come into his office that day to get work From the [course?] of the talk it had appeared that he was interested in an invention he had been planning & which he was trying to get money enough to have patented. He had described his idea to Mr Stone & his bookkeeper who was

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