ENPages
(seq. 26)
[fol. 1v]
No. 11 Wales Lane. October 1s.t 1795.
Beloved Friend,
It seems a long time, tho but a fortnight, since I saw you. I shall, therefore, consider you at the other side of my table, asking such questions as, How does my dear E. do? What pleasing anecdotes have you laid up? &c. As to E's health, employment, & even most interesting thoughts, you have undoubtedly received information by your epistolary telegraphes. What then remains? "Anecdotes "copied on the spot", you say, "do not fail to produce pleasure." Let me think. ----- On Monday, 21st ult. I went with Misses E & N to hear Judge Lowell's address before the Roxbury-Charitable-Society. It was a union of learning, taste & sensibility. The latter was exhibited in a degree suitable to the occasion. As a good evidence of this, E. was all attenton, & expressed the most noble sentiments in her countenance, while her heart beat in unison to every eulogium on charity. N. was not unimpressed at a scene so melting. But as she is made of "sterner stuff" than E. she was less affected. I ask Miss N's pardon, if by this decription, I have done her injustice. My meaning is this only, that she is, by nature, formed differntly form E. On our return, the subject of discourse, as was highly proper, was dictated by the recent occasion. Miss E. remarked, that she was highly pleased, to hear the Judge call in the aid of religion to plead the cause of charity. After he had displayed, from our natural feelings, the loveliness, importance, & rewards of charity, he hoped, he should not be considered, as invading the province of a vernable & respectable order of men, if he should proceed to shew, how exceedingly these were heightened by the consideration of religion. Like a Scribe well instructed in the Scriptures, he then had recourse to the Bible, and spiced his discourse with some of its most interesting truths.
As if my measure of enjoyment was not full, I, the last Thursday, accompanied these ladies to Dedham, by the particular invitation of Mr Wight. The weather was fine; and our conversation a mixture of the social & sentimental. Absent friends afforded not the least pleasing topics. At one time I so wrought upon E. by my enthusiam, that she even expressed a wish, that her best friend & mine were present to complete our happiness. I should, then, have used a liberty, which is your preogative, rather than mine, had I not entertained a greater regard for delicacy than for feelings. We passed the day in social glee, & returned in the evening with those impressions, which innocent cheerfulness & agreeable conversation never fail to create. By N. I am informed of the purpose of a letter, wh E. has
(seq. 27)
[fol.2v]
lately recieved from Eben. W is just, as I expected. After expressing his joy at the event, he gives her some truly fraternal advice, to act with dignity in her station. I have raised your expectation. You must gratify it by obtaining, if possible, a copy of the letter.
I, last Tuesday, attended an Exhibition at Cambridge. The assembly was larger & more brillant, than I ever recollect, on a simliar occasion. The performances received unusual approbation. This will not surprize you, when you are informed, that they were not only good in themselves; but deeply tinged with the politics of the day. Whole vollies of argument, sarcasm, & wit were discharged at the poor Jacobins. It reminded me of ministers preaching to their people, who constantly attend meeting, against the practice of staying at home; as there was hardly one, de- nominated a Jacobin, among the audience. The poet, however, did venture to call the treaty partial; but he was rather a heteroclite in politics, than a partizan. The Latin oration by Pickering of Salem, tho poorly delivered, was written, I believe, in a style of uncommon elegance. The forensic by Wells & Cabot on the subject, Whether an insolvent debtor be absolutely dissolved from all moral obligation to discharge a just debt, was little else, than wit opposed to sarcasm. In a conference on the comparative influence of fame, wealth, & knowledge, Tuttle, like a true Jonathan, unbridled every nerve. Call to mind the eclat, with wh Braman's & Biglow's commencement performance was received, & you have a parial idea of the approbation here expressed. Woods' English oration was entirely political. By considering the effects of war, he demonstated the misery, in wh, if entered into, it would involve the United States. It was universally allowed to be well composed. But there was more party spirit in this & the other performances, than I should wish to hear. Besides, the character of a politician is hardly to be acquired, in four years, within the confines of a University. The intrumental music by students was said by Prof. Pearson to exceed what he had ever heard in Cambridge. This night I lodged with Mr Popkin, &, the next day, rode with him to the ordination at Malden. There was a large collection of people, & the performances were much admired. The paper will
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inform you of particulars. Mr Haven's sermon, tho, for the most part, judicious, and well received, contained, in one instance, a play upon words beneath the impartial character of a clergyman. The idea was this. A treaty between you [addressing the church & congregation] and your minister is formed, &, I trust ratified in Heaven. And tho it may meet the attacks of Satan, the grand disorganizer, it will doubtless baffle the attempts of its enemies. Two years ago this have been unexcptionable. But at the present crisis, as every one immediately saw the allusion, it discovered an opposition to the doctrines of him, whose kingdom is not of this world.
On a review of what is written, I find I have given you a journal. I will not recal a syllable; for such would have been my conversation, were you present. I might have written on literary subjects; have proposed to you my difficulties in Butler; and have exercised your yawning powers over a mess of dry sentiment. But that would have tortured you , & perplexed me. I consider you in your study poring over ethics & metaphysics, and engaged in the difficult task mixing "utile cum dulci." Amid such labors some respite of thought, some amusing speculation i[ ]- [...] to invigorate the mental powers. At these seasons, but [ ] [...]n it is absolutely necessary for recreation, you doubt [ ] into the ideal world, & fancy the dear object of your affecti[ ] side. In the character of a husband, a father, you shed s[ ] love on Mrs. A. who, meanwhile, is dandling her Clarissa in her arms. In the cool of the evening you are accompanying her to the bower, recounting the beauties of the season, while the dull cares of life are not suffered to intrude. Ther verdure of the meads, the murmuring of the rills, the rustling of leaves; in short, the whole variegated landscape conspire to afford you the most pleasing subjects of contemplation. You are in Elysium. At this moment the shadows of these pictures catch your eye, you are roused from your reverie, and are about resolving never ----- But stop, my friend, before you draw your resolution. "A word to the "wise is enough." Because every pleasure has its foil, will you forego all enjoyment? Tis true a Newton, a Locke, & a Boyle trudged thro' life's long journey. alone. But they are exceptions to nature's lawr. Their ambition overcame their love. We know them only by their works. They have been careful not to transmit a journal of their troubles, lest they should discourage posterity from farther exploring the regions of science. But why need I ply arguments in favor of a subject, which, doubtless, you have, by this time, assumed, as a selfevident proposition? It is only for the pleasure of removing those obstacles, wh shall never impede the happiness of your Philos.
P.S. Let me hear soon from your cous. [...]; & something about your next "annual visit" &c Inclosed is what you desired me to tra[...]it you.
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No. 12 Dorchester, Novr. 7th. 1795.
Propitious friend,
This epithet you richly deserve from one, who has so poor claims to your friendship. Is not your candor exhausted? Am I not unworthy of future indulgence? If you are all foul; & the essence of that soul is benevolence, I may continue, a little longer, on your list of friends ---- A breach of promise, a fresh token of unworthiness! A breach of promise, the apparent fruit of wilful omission, or cold neglect!! A breach of promise by one, who professes morality, &, wonderful to relate! who courts the character of an instructor & reformer of mankind!!! But cannot some valid reasons be given to soften the asperity of such a charge? Let Candor judge, while Impartiality relates the facts, & Frankness owns their truth. 'Frankness, may it please your goodness for'got, he had made an unconditional promise. He recollects, a 'promise was desired; but thinks he have but partial encour'agment. Equitas & Nitida were, however witnesses to the fact, & last 'evening, revived a recollection of it in his mind. He willingly ac'knowledges his error; but hopes, his award will be mitigated 'when it is considered, that his mind has been perplexed by a spe'cies of business to him entirely new. The first opportunity of 'writing he neglected, supposing that a much dearer friend ren'dered it unnecessary. The next, also, passed unimproved; for he 'spent so much time in writing to his dearest Olivia, as 'he calls her, that enough was not left to perform his 'other business. From these considerations he hopes his for'getfulness will be pardoned, & his neglect forgiven; es'pecially, as they are failings, to wh all mankind, even 'the best of friends, are liable. This is a just represen'tation of facts, as you will see. Frankness chose this method, 'altho' novel, of submitting himself to your merciful 'bar; hoping you will excuse his personal appearance; 'as this would oblige him, such is his barrenness of ex'pression, to solicit the aid of that bosom friend, yet im'pertinent character, Egotism. If you wish, may it please 'your goodness, for farther evidence of these facts, you may ob'tain sufficient information from Equitas & Nitida. Frankness 'intreats judgement, the earliest session?'
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Last evening, my friend, I saw her, who, "as she becomes "more & more an interesting Subject to" you, grows, if possible, in my esteem. I hardly dare confess, how highly she ranks in my affections. Heartily do I rejoice, that she is likely to be connected, in the dearest bonds of union, with one, who is, every way, worthy of her, & of whom she is, in all respects, worthy. This looks like enthusiam. It is not hyperbole. I do not envy your happiness; tho' I should almost entertain that sentiment towards one less deserving. I designedly forbore mentioning your name, that I might witness the conflict of affection with diffidence. At length so great was the effervescence of the former, that with a burning check & trembling voice, she inquired, if I had written to Mr. A. I told her, I had not; & gave my excuse. I asked her, if she had heard from you, & what was your journey, &c. She read me a short passage, respecting ordination; wh contained, however, not one particular. But not another syllable could I see or hear with the utmost persuation, tho' she confessed, you said something of me. N. informs me, that she has not seen the letter. I conclude, therefore, that your "heart, like a faithful dam, accumulated "such a flood of matter," during your journey, that it has experienced an inundation, & that, through a secret pipe, you have been conveying the superfluity to kindred streams.
You criticise my application of "sterner stuff" to N. in comparison with E. I am not, always happy in the choice, & profess never to be obstinate in defense, of my expressions. All, I intended, was, that the former had not that exquisite sensibility, wh is the peculiar property of the latter. I cannot inform you, how I meant to apply this, as I have forgotton the connexion.
I rejoice, my friend, that the doubt & perplexities, wh gave an unusual complexion to your last, are dissipated, never more to return. Gloomy as they were, they struck a sympathetic chord in my soul, wh gave me a mournful pleasure. In such seasons, to spread our sorrows before a faithful friend affords a relief, little short of consolation.
Last week I received an unexpected, but very agreeable visit from Rev. Mr. B. of W. He brought pleasing intelligence from my best friend. On his arrival, I sent immediately for a [ ], with wh we beguilded a few hours. He talks to me of New Braintree,
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in his neighborhood, I cannot, will not set an earlier period for beginning to preach, than Spring. If that parish be then unprovided for, I may possibly, be invited to preach there, on probation. But what can I do amid such a swarm of candidates, as fill the air from every quarter. I cannot expect, that I know my best interest, I cannot wish a speedy settlement. My ignorance of the Scripture, but, especially, my unacquaintance with the composition forbids the idea. You may whisper into my ear, "It is "good to make a virtue of necessity"; but it now appears to me, I shall be contented to remain unsettled six years.
Thanksgiving with a few contiguous days I expect to spend at N. If you are my friend, wish me joy. But oh! my friend, the pleasure I receive in the company of my ---- is greatly diminished by the uncertainty, the gloominess of my prospects. What must be my condition, if the world so frown on my attempts to acquire a humble situation, that I shall be obliged to abandon a connexion, wh, every day, becomes firmer. But, as this subject, wh has never occupied your thought, I will not trouble you with further reflections on it. Neither will I disturb myself with the anticipation of evil; considering that, Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof; and [ ]id ing in that providence, wh has hitherto granted me[ ] greatest requests. My only apology, & indeed my only jus[ ] tion, for commencing this unseasonably a'suit of t[ ] must be, "Amor jussit."
I intreat you , Sir, to write me the particulars of your journey, the ordination, &c. by the next post. You will lay me under a very great obligation. I will do any thing to repay you. Mr. H. will not, I presume, be able to exchange with you, very soon, as his wife is about making an addition to his family.
I should fill my sweet with something or other, were not the bearer waiting to take it.
Receive this "multifarious jargon," as a fresh token of that friendship, with wh I am your sincere & affectionate
Philos.