| (seq. 30)[fol. 2v]
Last evening, my friend, I saw her, who, "as she becomes
"more & more an interesting Subject to" you, grows, if possible,
in my esteem. I hardly dare confess, how highly she ranks in
my affections. Heartily do I rejoice, that she is likely to be connect-
ed, in the dearest bonds of union, with one, who is, every way, wor-
thy of her, & of whom she is, in all respects, worthy. This looks
like enthusiam. It is not hyperbole. I do not envy your
happiness; tho' I should almost entertain that sentiment to-
wards one less deserving. I designedly forbore mentioning your
name, that I might witness the conflict of affection with dif-
fidence. At length so great was the effervescence of the for-
mer, that with a burning check & trembling voice, she inquired,
if I had written to Mr. A. I told her, I had not; & gave my
excuse. I asked her, if she had heard from you, & what was
your journey, &c. She read me a short passage, respecting ordi-
nation; wh contained, however, not one particular. But not
another syllable could I see or hear with the utmost persua-
tion, tho' she confessed, you said something of me. N. in-
forms me, that she has not seen the letter. I conclude,
therefore, that your "heart, like a faithful dam, accumulated
"such a flood of matter," during your journey, that it has expe-
rienced an inundation, & that, through a secret pipe, you
have been conveying the superfluity to kindred streams.
You criticise my application of "sterner stuff" to N. in
comparison with E. I am not, always happy in the choice, & pro-
fess never to be obstinate in defense, of my expressions. All, I
intended, was, that the former had not that exquisite sensibility,
wh is the peculiar property of the latter. I cannot inform you, how
I meant to apply this, as I have forgotton the connexion.
I rejoice, my friend, that the doubt & perplexities, wh gave
an unusual complexion to your last, are dissipated, never more
to return. Gloomy as they were, they struck a sympathetic chord
in my soul, wh gave me a mournful pleasure. In such seasons,
to spread our sorrows before a faithful friend affords a relief, little
short of consolation.
Last week I received an unexpected, but very agreeable
visit from Rev. Mr. B. of W. He brought pleasing intelligence from
my best friend. On his arrival, I sent immediately for a [ ], with
wh we beguilded a few hours. He talks to me of New Braintree,
[fol. 2r]
in his neighborhood, I cannot, will not set an earlier period
for beginning to preach, than Spring. If that parish be then un-
provided for, I may possibly, be invited to preach there, on probation.
But what can I do amid such a swarm of candidates, as fill
the air from every quarter. I cannot expect, that I know my
best interest, I cannot wish a speedy settlement. My ignorance
of the Scripture, but, especially, my unacquaintance with the com-
position forbids the idea. You may whisper into my ear, "It is
"good to make a virtue of necessity"; but it now appears to me,
I shall be contented to remain unsettled six years.
Thanksgiving with a few contiguous days I expect to
spend at N. If you are my friend, wish me joy. But oh! my
friend, the pleasure I receive in the company of my ----
is greatly diminished by the uncertainty, the gloominess of my
prospects. What must be my condition, if the world so frown on my
attempts to acquire a humble situation, that I shall be obliged
to abandon a connexion, wh, every day, becomes firmer. But, as
this subject, wh has never occupied your thought, I will not
trouble you with further reflections on it. Neither will I
disturb myself with the anticipation of evil; considering
that, Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof; and [ ]id
ing in that providence, wh has hitherto granted me[ ]
greatest requests. My only apology, & indeed my only jus[ ]
tion, for commencing this unseasonably a'suit of t[ ]
must be, "Amor jussit."
I intreat you , Sir, to write me the particulars of
your journey, the ordination, &c. by the next post. You
will lay me under a very great obligation. I will do
any thing to repay you. Mr. H. will not, I presume, be
able to exchange with you, very soon, as his wife is about
making an addition to his family.
I should fill my sweet with something or oth-
er, were not the bearer waiting to take it.
Receive this "multifarious jargon," as a fresh
token of that friendship, with wh I am your
sincere & affectionate
Philos.
| (seq. 30)[fol. 2v]
Last evening, my friend, I saw her, who, "as she becomes
"more & more an interesting Subject to" you, grows, if possible,
in my esteem. I hardly dare confess, how highly she ranks in
my affections. Heartily do I rejoice, that she is likely to be connect-
ed, in the dearest bonds of union, with one, who is, every way, wor-
thy of her, & of whom she is, in all respects, worthy. This looks
like enthusiam. It is not hyperbole. I do not envy your
happiness; tho' I should almost entertain that sentiment to-
wards one less deserving. I designedly forbore mentioning your
name, that I might witness the conflict of affection with dif-
fidence. At length so great was the effervescence of the for-
mer, that with a burning check & trembling voice, she inquired,
if I had written to Mr. A. I told her, I had not; & gave my
excuse. I asked her, if she had heard from you, & what was
your journey, &c. She read me a short passage, respecting ordi-
nation; wh contained, however, not one particular. But not
another syllable could I see or hear with the utmost persua-
tion, tho' she confessed, you said something of me. N. in-
forms me, that she has not seen the letter. I conclude,
therefore, that your "heart, like a faithful dam, accumulated
"such a flood of matter," during your journey, that it has expe-
rienced an inundation, & that, through a secret pipe, you
have been conveying the superfluity to kindred streams.
You criticise my application of "sterner stuff" to N. in
comparison with E. I am not, always happy in the choice, & pro-
fess never to be obstinate in defense, of my expressions. All, I
intended, was, that the former had not that exquisite sensibility,
wh is the peculiar property of the latter. I cannot inform you, how
I meant to apply this, as I have forgotton the connexion.
I rejoice, my friend, that the doubt & perplexities, wh gave
an unusual complexion to your last, are dissipated, never more
to return. Gloomy as they were, they struck a sympathetic chord
in my soul, wh gave me a mournful pleasure. In such seasons,
to spread our sorrows before a faithful friend affords a relief, little
short of consolation.
Last week I received an unexpected, but very agreeable
visit from Rev. Mr. B. of W. He brought pleasing intelligence from
my best friend. On his arrival, I sent immediately for a [ ], with
wh we beguilded a few hours. He talks to me of New Braintree,
[fol. 2r]
in his neighborhood, I cannot, will not set an earlier period
for beginning to preach, than Spring. If that parish be then un-
provided for, I may possibly, be invited to preach there, on probation.
But what can I do amid such a swarm of candidates, as fill
the air from every quarter. I cannot expect, that I know my
best interest, I cannot wish a speedy settlement. My ignorance
of the Scripture, but, especially, my unacquaintance with the com-
position forbids the idea. You may whisper into my ear, "It is
"good to make a virtue of necessity"; but it now appears to me,
I shall be contented to remain unsettled six years.
Thanksgiving with a few contiguous days I expect to
spend at N. If you are my friend, wish me joy. But oh! my
friend, the pleasure I receive in the company of my ----
is greatly diminished by the uncertainty, the gloominess of my
prospects. What must be my condition, if the world so frown on my
attempts to acquire a humble situation, that I shall be obliged
to abandon a connexion, wh, every day, becomes firmer. But, as
this subject, wh has never occupied your thought, I will not
trouble you with further reflections on it. Neither will I
disturb myself with the anticipation of evil; considering
that, Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof; and [ ]id
ing in that providence, wh has hitherto granted me[ ]
greatest requests. My only apology, & indeed my only jus[ ]
tion, for commencing this unseasonably a'suit of t[ ]
must be, "Amor jussit."
I intreat you , Sir, to write me the particulars of
your journey, the ordination, &c. by the next post. You
will lay me under a very great obligation. I will do
any thing to repay you. Mr. H. will not, I presume, be
able to exchange with you, very soon, as his wife is about
making an addition to his family.
I should fill my sweet with something or oth-
er, were not the bearer waiting to take it.
Receive this "multifarious jargon," as a fresh
token of that friendship, with wh I am your
sincere & affectionate
Philos.
|