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Mmm. . .BEER

More forwarded e-mail. This message originated in Austin, went all over the country, and came right back to the GWHQ. You've probably heard some of these before, but hey, this rag was cheap, so whadda ya expect?

"You can't be a real country
unless you have a beer and an airline.
It helps if you have some kind of a football team,
or some nuclear weapons,
but at the very least you need a beer."

--Frank Zappa

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.
That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

--Ernest Hemingway

He was a wise man who invented beer."
--Plato

"Time is never wasted when you're wasted when you're wasted all the time."
--Catherine Zandonella

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even
have the decency to thank her."

--W.C. Fields

"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
--his reply

"When I read about the evils of drinking,
I gave up reading."

--Henny Youngman

"Without question, the greatest invention
in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

--Dave Barry

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