p. 99

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Alas! it was only a passing thought to dreadful to be entertained -- so unwilling are we all to believe the approach of sorrow -- to listen to the forewarning foot-falls of the messenger of death. We saw nothing, heard nothing and knew not that this dark angel stood at our threshold solemnly, unpityingly the last sad moments allotted to his victim. "The Lord blinded us," Father says. If so I submit, but oh how agonizing the thought that our blindness and ignroance might have hastened, if not caused the death one whose life was as precious to us as our own -- A different course of treatment might possibly have saved him and it is also quite possible that all might have failed, and in the end might also have been considered by us as a cause of self-reproach. We have reason to think that mortification commenced internally almost at the first appearance of the disease in that case nothing could have saved him.

All is hid with God, and it is sweet to reflect that whatever causes occasioneed Natty's death; it was His will and therefore must be alright.---- --------- ---------
I was quite busy on this day and was not able to spend as much time with Natty as I could have wished but oh, had I known how short his time was nothing could have persuaded me to leave him an instant!
In the afternoon I rubbed his head with Tricopherous which he liked very much.

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