In Cap and Gown student journal

my connection with Columbia University. Modesty forbids me to mention my achievements there. Besides they are as dross to present remembrance. There was one bright spot, however, in my New York life, of which unfortunately I cannot speak. And besides there were some friendships; but the time went by too soon for their maturity. A genial London lady says I have no heart at all.

For a year I rested at the Normal College in Hamilton. Funny old place! Some profit-mingled with some melancholy and much roaring farce. You are how flat the world was to me till I came to the Western University? Here I have convalesced. Here kind hearts and manly young

faces and sweet young faces have given me a new life made my mad [? ? ?]. The clock ticks go off like kisses as Tennyson pubit [?]. For other days my father used to introduce me as his father. I was the tired man, the old man. Now you are. I am the youth. They guess my age anywhere from 18 to 25 - but between you and me its more than that. It's high time really that But let us get back to Goldsmith. He was a lucky man, I mean unlucky man, and you are lucky to be reading this beautiful Eighteenth Century prose. Five years ago I couldn't have understook the jokes, but now although I never can invent a joke myself I appreciate other men's efforts so much that even in telling ex-

plaining I must always laugh myself. Will you call me light of heart or light of mind?

[double line drawn] A complaint has been received from the milkman to the effect that owing to the darkness in the corridors he has narrowly escaped breaking his neck over an immovable couple who on closer inspection proved to be a diminutive miss and a mild-eyed, curly-haired youth. Either the darkness or the couple must be removed.

[double drawn lines] Hint to the Resident Tutor It's about time that the "Quaker Oats" smile should be taken off by "Force."

[bold THROUGH THE PHONOGRAPH[bold]

Now ladies and gentlement you shall have the pleasure of listening to an autobriographic speech by Professor Rev. Weltmer, the sage of Western University, who talks exclusively for our instruments - k-ch-ch-errr-eeyah - I suppose there is no one but knows that I am all wool and a yard wide (laughter and cries of "joke"). I don't mean my beard but my personality; not do I want you to go away with the impression that I am a sheep; what I mean is that I am a heavyweight, as all the world knows already. You may have heard the story how the newspaper reporter reported my saying of a certain [??]drally student who once came to my classes

that he was as mild a mannered man as ever stuck a sheep or cut a throat. What I really said was that he was as mild a mannered man as ever scuttled a ship or cut a throat - a very different matter. But as the student in question was a liar, a blackguard, and a scoundrel, I did not enter any protest. Now don't interrupt me with any questions until I call for them, Mr. Manley - Stanley I,I - where was I - yes, I want to be understood correctly when I am speaking about myself (hghgh). Dizzy used to speak of the opposition as a chain or extinct volcanoes - it's a pity they weren't and that that murderous unhanged scoundrel Gladstone broke into office again. Sometimes I think

of Dizzy's words as I look at Mr. Washburn Hughes, Horton, Barclay and my other pets back there, while I am explaining a deduction (applause from men not specially indicated and one lady.). speaking of Volcanoes, I remember (Mr. McAndrew, take this seat in front), I remember when Pelee and Loufriere were leaving no stone unturned in their vinicity, a year or so ago, the ground was all the lighter in this part of His Majesty's empire, for I planted lettuce on the date of the last eruption but one, and it took six weeks coming up, and rested the seventh week. (Keep your feet off that form in front of you Miss - Mr. Millar.) My friend, [Sir?] John Macdonald told me once that if I had gone into

politics I'd have been an empire-building a Canadian Rhodes. With a kingdom under me [underlined] from Dawson to Demerara I'd have declared war against Russia I'd give $100. anyway to see the fall of Port Arthur. I hate[underlined] these Russians. I hate the Americans too. Have you read the "Unspeakable Scot"? An excellent book, full of thought and truth, I agree with everything in it. I did not allow a Scotchman on the schoolboard when I was principal of I [underline]. Ever see this gold watch? I got that from a sorrowing countryside when I left I [underline] to take command in Kingston Collegiate Institute! don't like Kingston - too many G[eih?] where - they make me sick, as my friend Sir John used to say. Let me

see, what were we doing, Trigonometry or Euclid, Mr. Hamilton? (Mr. H. - Algebra, sir, I think, that is I'm not sure.) Well, come and have a look at the watch and inscription on it, after this hour. [dash, dash, dash, dash] Now let me introduce the professor without a beard. While the youth is shaving himself, however, and choosing a neck-cloth for the occasion the band will play Rip-Van-Winkle and Since I First Met You.

"Yes, since I met you, it's been different. The Colorado climate didn't agree with me as, I have often told you, although I was a very great mountain-climber and hold the Boulder Flagstaff record. I may inform you that the Flagstaff is a foot-hill

[bold]CORRESPONDENCE[bold]

Dear Editor: - It was with some amusement I read your request for a character sketch of Miss Lola Carlisle and also the information that you had found it impossible to persuade any of your fellow-students to undertake this pleasant, but in some respects - difficult, task. You said all were afraid of offending the young lade surely a good proof that she has many and devoted admirers. However as I am an old friend having known her since she was a baby - a good deal this side of fifty years ago - I do not hesitate to undertake the task.

The name Ida, as you no doubt know, means "like a goddess" and

insistance you have no doubt discovered ere this what a sweet temper Miss Lola possesses. An early episode is in a measure responsible for this - One day Miss Lola was not feeling very sweet-tempered and remorse of conscience overcoming her, she decided that a molasses bath would affect the desisired change on her temper. When discovered she had managed to pour a goodly portion of the sweet but sticky mixture over herself. The remedy had the desired effect and Miss Lola was ever after as sweet-tempered as she is to-day. She is very fond of music and even when a child she would sit calm and quiet and listen for which hours while someone played the