The Alabama Forum, October 1988

National Coming Out Day October 11, 1988 ALABAMA FORUM OCTOBER 1988 A PUBLICATION OF LAMBDA, INC.

Return to D.C. : March on Washington Anniversary by Rex Wockner, Chicago Outlines

The gay/lesbian community will return to Washington, D.C. October 6-11 to mark the first anniversary of 1987's historic National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. Highlights of the anniversary gathering include a display of the NAMES Project quilt, and a massive civil disobedience action at the Food and Drug Administration in Rockville, Maryland.

According to NAMES Project general manager Michael Smith, the quilt will be unfurled on the Capitol Mall on Oct. 8 and 9. At dusk on the 8th, thousands of mourners are expected to light candles and walk from the Mall to the Linclon Memorial. The procession will be lead by parents groups from around the country and by a host of politicians involved in the AIDS fight.

The quilt's anniverary display will mark its first presentation in its entirety since last year's march. The 10,000 panels are expected to stretch from the Capitol to the Washington Monument.

Meanwhile, thousands of AIDS activists nationwide have announced their intention to stage a civil disobedience action at the FDA Oct. 11. Groups such as New York's AIDS coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP), Houston's Gay Urban Truth Squad (GUTS), Chicago for AIDS Rights (C-FAR), and other, more mainstream organizations believe the FDA is "criminally negligent" in its handling of anit-AIDS drugs.

The action is being coordinated by the AIDS Coalition to Network, Organize and Win (ACT NOW), a San Francisco umbrella organizationfor the burgeoning gay/lesbian direct action and civil disobedience phenomenon. Demonstrators will demand that the FDA "revease the treatments", some 40 potential AIDS remedies caught up in bereaucratic delays. They will insist that women, Blacks, Hispanics, children and I.V. drug users be included in the few clinical test studies underway. On Oct. 6 and 7, preceding the quilt display, mainstream gay rights groups have called for National Lobby Days. Gay men and lesbians from around the country are asked to personally visit their elected representatives in their Washington offices.

An AIDS activist teach-in, including workshops and special caucuses for persons with AIDS, people of color and women, is planned for Oct. 8. Topics will include fundraising and community organizing.

On Oct. 9, ACT NOW will hold a strategy conference for the country's 40-some AIDS direct action groups. Organizers hope to plan a series of national campaigns centered on specific issues.

Civil disobedience training will take place from 9:00-3:00 on Oct. 10, followed by a 4:00 rally at the Department of Health and Human Services. HHS oversees the National Institutes of Health, another "culprit", activists say, in the AIDS "fiasco". At 7:00 on the 10th, a pre-action meeting is scheduled for all those who will be commiting civil disobedience the next morning at the FDA>

Demonstrators should plan to arrive in Rockville no later than 7:00 AM on the 11th. ACT NOW organizer Terry Beswick says the goal is nothing short of "seixing control of the FDA and demanding access to AIDS treatments." Lou Snider of C-FAR adds, "We're going to try to take the building, take it for ourselves".

ACT NOW's FDA action coincides with National Coming Out Day, during which all gay men and lesbians are encouraged to take the next step out of the closet. Organizers have said that "the next step" could be anything from telling the first person ever that you're gay to telling the world on the six o'clock news.

Tens, perhaps hundreds, of thousands of gay men and lesbians are expected to make the trek to Washington for the anniversary of the March, which may concider to have been the most significant event in the gay movement since the Stonewall revolt. For more information, contact ACT NOW's Scott Sanders at 202-234-8801, NGLTF's Sue Hyde at 202-332-6483, the NAMES Project at 1-800-USA-NAMES, or C-FAR at 312-848-1066.

[Photo captioned "From the Oct. 11, 1987 March on Washington"] [Photo credit: KEVIN ROBERSON 1987]

LWAC Incorporates Separately

The Living With AIDS Coalition (LWAC), a group of persons who have AIDS, ARC or have tested positive for HIV, has incorporated separately as a non-profit organization and moved into office and meeting space on Birmingham's Southside.

LWAC, which has previously been associated with Lambda and Covenant Metropolitan Community Church, incorporated separately to insure its independence and autonomy, according to leaders of the group.

LWAC will be sharing space in a large, restored home called "The Clearing House" with the Center for Attitudinal Healing. In addition to office space, space will be available for rap groups discussing the problems associated with living with AIDS, a small exercise room, a wood-working shop and business meetings. A small garden, deck and swimming pool are connected to the house, but are in need of repair before they can become functional, group members said.

LWAC is organized to provide financial, physical and emotional support to persons with the AIDS virus, by persons with the AIDS virus. Membership in the organization is confidential.

The LWAC is appealing for donations of money or household goods, including office supplies and furnishings to defray the cost of moving in to their new space, and donations for the assistance fund are always appreciated. This money goes directly to PWA's for household and medical support.

For more information on the LWAC, please call 252-2255 or 942-8331.

Leonard Matlovich Dead at 44 by Rex Wockner, Chicago Outlines

Leonard Matlovich, who in 1975 challenged the Air Force's ban on gay servicemen, died June 22 on West Hollywood of AIDS-related complications. He was 44. Matlovich was a decorated Vietnam veteran and served 12 years in the Air Force before being expelled in 1975 when he told his supervising officer he was gay.

Matlovich challenged his dismissal from the Air Force and settling out of court five years later for $160,000. The settlement vacated a Federal court ruling two months earlier that he be reinstated with back pay because the Air Force based its policy on retention and discharge of homosexuals.

Matlovich recieved both the Bronze Star for bravery and the Purple Heart for injuries during his military career. He was later features on the cover of Time magazine and became a hero of the gay rights movement.

His epitaph - which he wrote himself and placed on a tombstone in the Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C. during the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights in October 1987 - reads: "When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men, and a discharge for loving one."

Randy Shilts to Appear at UAB

Randy Shilts, author of And the Band Played On, has been heralded as having written a landmark work whose importance cannot be overstated. Newsweek calls it compelling and often shocking, impassioned and heartbreaking...the best book on AIDS yet. Time refers to it as stunning...an impressively researched and richly detailed narrative. Shilts has shown clearly why the epidemic has spread so wildly - and why the authorities we most trusted failed us so badly.

On October 17th at 8:00 pm, Randy Shilts will be: appearing at the UAB Arena. The public will be admitted free. His appearance at UAB will be preceeded by a cocktail reception from 5:30 - 7:30 pm at the Harbert Center, 2019 Fourth Ave. North, to benefit Birmingham AIDS Outreach. For ticket info call Billy Cox at 324-7613 or 591 2005..

Dukakis Appoints O'Leary to Democratic Nat'l Committee

Democratic presidential nomince, Michael Dukakis has appointed lesbian activist, Jean O'Leary as an at-large member of the Democratic National Committcc. O'Leary's appointment marks the first time an open lesbian has been named to the governing body of the National Democratic Party.

Tim McNeill, the Associate Director of Issues for the Dukakis campaign, commented on O'Leary's appointment saying "Michael Dukakis has said that gay men and lesbians would have more than just a foot in the door and would participate in policy making. Jean O'Leary is the kind of caring and qualified person thai Dukakis hopes to attract to public service.

O'Leary has had a long and distinguished career as a gay rights activist, as well as being a 17 year veteran of Democratic Party politics; serving, most recently, as a Dukakis whip at the Democratic National Convention in Atlanta.

During the Carter Administration, O'Leary organized the first and only mecting of gay and lesbian leaders held in the Whitw House. This landmark cvcnt was followed up by scrics of meetings that changed policy regarding gay men and women with key federal agencics including the State Department, the U.S Department of Justice and the U.S. Civil Rights Commission. In 1977, O'Leary was appointed by President Canter to the National Commission on the Observance of International Women's Year, the first time an openly gay person had been appointed to Presidential Commission. She was subsequently named to his National Advisory Commission on the Status of Women.

For the past seven years, O'Leary has been Executive Director of National Gay Rights Advocates, 2 on profit, impact litigation firm,

[Photo of Jean O'Leary. Captioned "Jean O'Leary"]

committed to promoting civil rights for lesbians and gay men.

When O'Leary leamed of her appointment to the prestigious Democratic Committee, she said,"I am proud to have recieved this appointmen. This is another example of the commitment Mike Dukakis continues to demonstrate on behall of our community. This appointment is consistent with his suppon of positive AIDS policies and civil rights for lesbians and gay men. It clearly highlights the difference hetween Govemor Dukakis and an administration that has tumed it's back on the gay community for cight years."

Page 2 Alabama Forum October 1988 DIRECTORY

Distribution points for the Alabama Forum AUBURN ORGANIZATIONS Alpha Lambda Omega - P.O. Box 821, Auburn, AL 36831-0821 GAY MEN OF AUBURN P.O. Box 691, Auburn, AL 36831 BIRMINGHAM - BARS BILL'S CLUB - 208 N. 23rd Street, Disco, Quiet Bar---254-8634 CLUB 21 - 117 1/2 21st Street North---322-0469 FANTASIES - 3201 3rd Avenue South ---326-0085 QUEST CLUB - 5th Avenue and 24th Street South, Western, Leather, Cruise---251-4313 THE RAGE - 620 29th Street South, Disco, Quiet Bar---323-RAGE MABEL's BEAUTY SHOP & CHAIN SAW REPAIR - 381 14th Streetou---254-9426 SERVICES AIDS Task Force of Alabama - P.O. Box 55703, Birmingham, AL 35255 AIDS Helpline (7:45 AM - 4:30 PM, M-F)---933-5419 Birmingham Women's Arts Collective --- 939-3356 Birmingham AIDS Outreach - P.O. Box 550070, Birmingham, AL 35255---322-0757 Live and Let Live, Gay Alocholics Anonymous - Unity Church, 28th Street & Highland Avenue ---933-8964 ORGANIZATIONS Greater Birmingham NOW - P.O. BOx 10412 --- 871-8670 Dignity ---933-9403/674-6773 Lambda, Inc. - P.O. Box 55913, 35255: 516 27th Street South 35233---326-8600 Metropolitan Community Church - 2630 6th Avenue South --- 326-8529 PRO-PAC - P.O. Box 55913, 35255 Gospel of Freedom - 516 27th Street South (Rear) --- 326-8600 Mystic Krewe of Apollo - P.O. Box 12232, 35201---595-0812 LIBRARY Barnes Memorial Library (largest Gay/Lesbian library in Alabama) - 516 27th Street South ---326-8600 SPORTS Southern Shootout - P.O. Box 10944, Birmingham AL 35219 Magic City Athletic Assn. (MCAA) - P.O. Box 55373, Birmingham, AL 35255 New South Softball League (NSSL) - P.O. Box 55373, Birmingham, AL 35255 ALTERNATIVE BOOKSTORE Lodestar Books - 2020 11th Avenue South, Birmingham, AL---939-3356 NEWSPAPERS & MAGAZINES News Break - 2915 Highland Avenue ---324-2103 RESTAURANTS Cafe Le Netta - 2323 1st Avenue North---324-2333 Steak N' Egg - 1717 10th Avenue South---933-9822 FRAME & ART The Framery of Clairmont - 3809 Clairmont Avenue ---591-4316 PET STORE Ed's Pet World - 2821 18th Street South (Homewood) ---879-1131 PLANT STORE The Plant Odyssey - 3000 Clarimont Avenue ---324-0566 GROCERY/DELI Highland Market - 2921 Highland Avenue --- 324-1321 HORSE RENTALS Just For Fun Stables - Alabaster, AL POTTERY Earthworks - 18 Middle Street, Montevallo, AL 35115 TANNING SALON Tan & Trim - 2028 Shady Crest Dr. ---979-2430 GADSEN BARS HEADQUARTERS - 217 4th Street ---547-9828 HUNTSVILLE BARS Vieux Carre - 1204 Posey Street HUNTSVILLE SERVICES Help Line ---539-1000 HUNTSVILLE ORGANIZATIONS Pink Triangle Alliance - P.O. Box 784, 35805---539-4235 Metropolitan Community Church - P.O. Box 10021, 35801---851-6220 MOBILE BARS CLUB PARK AVENUE - 7 South Joachim Street---433-9105 GOLDEN ROD - 13 South Joachim Street ---433-9175 CORRAL - 54 South Conception Street, Western Cruise Bar ---433-9258 SOCIETY LOUNGE - 51 South Conception Street, Disco and Show Bar---433-8141 TROOPERS - 215 Court

MOBILE SERVICES Gay Hotline ---476-9142 MOBILE ORGANIZATIONS Metropolitian Community Church (Call for new location)---476-9142 Metropolitan Writers Guild---342-2891 Mobile AIDS Buddy Program - P.O. Box 6068, Mobile, AL 36660---476-1942 Sunday Afternoon Sketch Group ---342-7891 Dignity---342-7891 Gay AA MONTGOMERY BARS CHEERS- 211 Lee Street---262-9212 RUMOURS - 207 Dexter Avenue --- 264-5722 STUDIO F - 150 Lee Street MONTGOMERY SERVICES Gay Help Line ---Call M.C.C. 264-7887 Montgomery AIDS Outreach ---284-CARE MONTGOMERY ORGANIZATIONS Black and White Men Together - P.O. Box 603, Montgomery, AL 36101---284-2421 Metropolitan Community Church - 3112 Norman Bridge Road 36105---264-7887 Dignity Montgomery - P.O. Box 20382 36120---Call M.C.C. 264-7887 Choral Manpower ---Call M.C.C. 264-7887 Montgomery ACT UP - 211 Lee Street TUSCALOOSA ORGANIZATIONS Gay/Lesbian Support Services - P.O. Box 4595, University, AL 35486---348-8494 TUSKEGEE ORGANIZATIONS Alpha Lambda Omega, P.O. Box 821, Auburn AL 36831-0821 NATIONAL SERVICES AIDS Crisisline - M-F: 2-8 PM ----800/221-7044 North American Transvestite - Transsexual Tel. Contact Service - 296/624-8266 801 E. Harrison Street, Seattle Washington 98102

Birmingham's "DAY IN THE PARK" Photos Available Call 326-8600 for details

YOUR TURN

Why They Have Power Over Us by Rick Adams

Oh no, you think, another radical polemic, another "call to action" by another failed revolutionary blaming the world for his problems. Sorry; that's too easy. I don't blame the world, which can be pretty terrific place at times. I accept responsibility for the problems I cause myself. And if like mc you're gay or if you are a lesbian, and living in the U.S. in the late 1980's, you don't have to be radical or revolutionary to notice that there are some things dreadfully wrong in the world, particularly the culture and society around us (a considerable amount of violence, for one thing). And there is they.

They are the people who have made and upheld the laws that deny some of us the most basic rights granted to other American citizens, even though we pay taxes, serve in the armed forces, and contribute significantly to the "work force" and the GNP. They are the people who can't get out of the authority / submission, white / black, good evil, right wrong, saved / damned, a context which seems to represent a concept of absolute authority outside and apart from nature and human experience and which has been developed historically for political reasons. They have projected this context to cover the state / nation world universe. They are the people who extend this "authority" to the so-called "founding fathers" and the "constitution" as if a historically specific group of white men, some of whom owned other human beings, had the power to "frame" for all time the context of what could ever be "permitted" in American society.

They are the people who continuc to accept this context and who believe that we must try to determine what our "founding fathers" meant or what the "constitution" permits before we can dare change anything. They are the people who believe that piece of paper written over two hundred years ago is the source of "rights" for people today.

They are the people who believe in allcgiance to the principal of capital and productivity, to the "nation" and the "state" and the family" as political entities, all idealized concepts molded out of the old concept of authority / submission, the ruler and the ruled. They are the people whose fear of life outside these limits demands their rigid control of themselves and others.

They are the popele who have passed on this context historically, so taht most of us are conditioned to accept it before we can even form sentences and so that the very shapes of our most basic images and concepts are molded form this very context before we are even aware of ourselves.

They are the people who historically have burned, hung, gassed, tortured and maimed those who have not accepted their ways, those outside the context, sespeically those who demonstrate the fact of nature that humans can love members of their own sex.

They are the people who today use liberal "sympathy" and high-tech jargon to try to convince us not to "rock the boat", to accept the rules and "play the game." They find ever more subtle ways to argue that we don't need "special rights" for gays (or other minorities) and that we of course must examine the concept of civil rights for gays in the context of the "consitution" and our "founding fathers'" intentions (is having sex with someone who wants to have sex with you in the privacy fo the home you pay taxes to the government for a civil right? I'd call it a fundamental HUMAN right.)

They persuade you that youare nothing apart from

ALABAMA FORUM

Alabama Forum is publisahed by Lambda, Inc. at P.O. Box 55913, Birminham, Alabama. Opinions expressed are not necessarily the opinions of the The Forum or its staff. Publication of teh name or photograph of any living person or organization in articles or advertising in The Forum is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. All copy, text, display, photos and illustration in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent to the use of names, pictures and testimonials of any living persons and The Forum may lawfully publish and cause such publications to be made and the advertiser automatically agrees by submitting said ad to indemnify and save blameless the publisher from any and all liability,loss and expense of any nature out of such publication. All rights reserved. Reproduction in part of this publication in a similar publication is permitted as long as proper credit is given.

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Page 3 Alabama Forum October 1988

OUR TURN

A Mix of Womyn's Cultures by A.F.L.

[Photo of person]

A Mix of Womyn's Cultures by A.F.L.

How many of you have read in "Dykes to Watch Out For" about the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival? If not, check it out for I won't write like that in this rumor-packed article.

For those not in the know, this gathering of womyn is the Grandmother of womyn only music festivals in the U.S. Held on private property in a rudel setting (primative camping, fashion victims) it offers a space for womyn to gather and enjoy days of music, workshops and arts and crafts in a city of only females (the exceptions to the rule are small male children and the men who clean out the port-o-Janes late at night).

All types of womyn being gathering at the festival site in early August to clean areas and erect structures until the masse swell in number festie week to around 8,000. Imagine the fun acting out your favorite Amazon fantasy dressed any way you choose without fear - I tell you, I saw more gapped up hair than I thought could exist (I often wondered what these womyn did "out there" for jobs with hair like that), working side by side with long-haired godesses, each trying as best she could to understand why the other would wear their hair that way.

Unlike citics "out there", this tent city did not have police or security. Instead it had the "Communications Crew". those brave souls (myself part of) who watched the gates to prevent uninvited visitors from invading the land. This gave all of US "virgins" first hand knowledge of male anatomy as it dangled from speeding cars, and current tunes of "hate and kill" that the locals sang to us on Saturday night.

Being on Communications Crew, we got to mediatc womyn angered by long lines before opening time or furious festic-goers who could not understand why an area is restricted. These moments of conflict alerted me to the idea we have indeed become more like the "male population" than many of us care to admit.

Being on Communications Crew, we gof to mediatc womyn angered by long lines before opening time or furious festic-goers who could not understand why an area is restricted. These moments of conflict alerted me to the idea we have indeed become more like the "male population" than many of us care to admit.

We were told in one of our many meetings that this festival was placing emphasis on "isms" in our society - yet for all our efforts to be aware of what was already a part of our vocabulary, we seemed to work extra hard to add a few of our own to the list.

For womyn, it was OK to hate males (including children?), but how horrible for the locals to hate the "Camp of Lizzards". The Separatist womyn had every right to demand all males t0 be removed from the land yet straight womyn or wom-

yn discovering new forms of sexuality were 10 keep quict. Those of us supporting the healing of men, as well as womyn, were ostricized from most circles, save the Native American rituals. could never accept that healing was for womyn only, s0 soon joined the ranks of those "men lovers".

Some of the festie goers got s0 entured over hidden racisms in our culture that womyn were ganged up on to force them to admit to their racism. Saving tactics, if ever confronted with this, is to remember that you never know what you truly believe until faced with defending it. And for you separatists reading this, I must say that there are a few things that you cannot help, i.e.: your home state, your family, the color of your skin and your water works. You can help your attitude, even if it takes a lot of work and healing.

To tell you the truth, I was humor impared most of the 18 days I was there I felt that most of the womyn suffered from some type of P.M.S. and were "lookin" for an excuse to jump your politics. Yet I will go back and encourage all womyn to attend as many of these events as possible. My reasons are simple for such an endorsement. It is only through exposure to others' culture that we can pick and choose what will heal us as a whole. Southem womyn are & protected sort, but through understanding others (even those with weird hair) and sharing our lives, we are able to build a more healing, nurturing culture of womyn, for womyn and all the others who are out there.

Kathleen Mary Johnson Attorney At Law

3600 Clairmont Ave. Birmingham, Alabama 35205 Phone 328-1665

The Crowning Touch Steak&Egg Kitchen 1717 10th Ave. So.

You are invited to meet Randy Shilts Author of And the Band Played On At a cocktail reception to benefit Birmingham AIDS Outreach Monday, October 17th, 1988 From 530 until 730 PM at The Harbert Center 2019 4th Ave. North Cash Bar Hors d'oervres

Ticket Information: Tickets 02500 Advance Billy Cox 324-7613 $35.00 at the Door

MABEL'S ANNUAL CHAIN - SAW MASSACRE!! ________________ Monday Oct. 31st ________________ OVER $500 IN PRIZES ________________ The Party Starts at 9PM $2.00 Cover! For Members and Non - Members! ________________ BRING YOUR OWN JACK-O-LANTERN ! BE CREATIVE ! 1ST-2ND-3RD PRIZES ENTRIES MUST BE IN BY 9PM!! _____________________ PRIZES FOR COSTUMES! BEST COUPLE 10PM $50.00 BEST MALE COSTUME 11PM $50.00 BEST FEMALE COSTUME 12PM $50.00 BEST FANTASY COSTUME 1AM $50.00 BEST OVERALL COSTUME 2AM $200.00 JUDGING IS BY AUDIENCE RESPONSE!

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE ______________________________ PRIZES! ______________________________ Drawing for Door Prize at 3AM ! ______________________________

Mabel's Halloween Weekend Friday-Saturday-Sunday $100.00 Prize Each Night For Best Costume! Judged by Audience Applause ------------------------------------------- MABEL'S BEAUTY SHOP AND CHAIN SAW REPAIR BIRMINGHAM'S FUNNEST BAR! -------------------------------------------- Our Parking is Patrolled by Birmingham Police Department

^ Page 4 Alabama Fo, m October 1988 REMEMBERING OUR PAST March On Washington, Oct.11, 1987

Why Come Out ?

Our silence is killing us. Our silence is allowing society to make the rules for us by defining who we are, and what we can hope to achieve in life. Our silence is allowing ignorance and intolerance to play decisive roles in such life-threatening matters as AIDS funding, research and patient care, And with silence comes invisibility.

Our invisibility is the core of the oppression. We experience hate, fear and prejudice because people don't know who we are. But we know. We are their sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, and mothers and fathers.

The truth is that we are evcrywhere. We are lawyers, doctors, mechanics, engineers, architects, teachers, bank tellers, secretarics, artists, and truckdrivers. We work within every professional field at every professional level. We touch the lives of millions of pcople whose negative view of homosexuality would change dramatically if they knew who we arc.

Your coming out can help turn fear into acceptance. One-to-one contact with gay men and lesbians is our most powerful tool to bring about major shift in society's attitudes. Coming out is the most powerful statement we can make powerful in its political influence and personally powerful in releasing energy that is wasted in hiding the truth.

Coming out. Changing the tide of history. You can be an incredibly powerful force shattering the wall of silence. Together, we can assume political might which could end discrimination forever. You can be a part of something very important. Only your personal involvement will make this possible.

Excerpted from "The National Coming Out Day Kit" For more information, call 326-8600.

Our Coming Out Stories For Love and For Life by Julie Smith

Fast October I was fortunate enough to attend the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. Never have I expericnced such a feeling of sheer exhilaration and happiness. There was so much love and pride that day, and there was sense of unity between lesbians and gay men that rarely see in Birmingham.

Over half a million of us gathered in one place to let the world know that we're tired of the closets; tired of being labeled "child molesters" when most of us have deep sense of love and caring for the children of the world; tired of our brothers dying because of a homophobic govemment that thinks nothing of spending billions of our tax dollars on lethal weapons but begrudges every penny it has to spend to find a cure to the most lethal disease this century has known. I could go on but we all know what the issucs are. We want and deserve change, but we will never achieve it as long as we remain in the closet.

The wo-mandate for the first anniversary of the March on Washington is that every lesbian and gay man come out to at least one person on October 11th. Just think...in one day over 20 million heterosexuals could be enlightened! We have the power to change people's altitudes towards us. It is crucial to act, if at all possible, upon this national initiative.

It may not be comfortable or safe for some of us to take this giant step. But as many of us as possible must let those around us know that we are everywhere, we are marching forward and we will not be turned around. Like the popular March on Washington slogan says: "For love and for life, we're never going back." October 11th...let's do it!

Page 5 Alabama Forum October 1988

Ocean Park by Gary Spahl

another perfect week-end during the war and sunny summer of 1985. We were in Ocean Park, small hamlet on Martha's Vineyard sweeping cluster of Victorian-era, gingerbreadstyle homes, looking out on a grassy common and beyond to the Atlantic. With a gazebo and geese and the whitecaps flirting across the water, it was classically channing and beautiful.

The grass was browning and brittle, tired from salt, wind and August sun. We sat, drinking beer, enjoying the space and the day, She was living on the island, and I was ending what would probably be my last visit of the summer. In few hours the ferry would take mc home to the city. It was sad to be leaving - both the island and my friend. We first met at work, in restaurant. We were both finishing college, and seemed to be the only ones capable of tolerating each other's senior year bitching. We'd rant endlessly about deadlines, wisccrack our way through the standard restaurant mania, then go out for drinks afterward and rant and wisecrack some more. She served. bussed. Together we made good moncy. I liked her. Unlike most workplace friendships, this one continued after our employment ended. With work no longer a common topic, our conversation expanded. She was an artisan and was writer, and we had long, soul-searching discussions. About the creative curse of achieving success only by refusing to be satisfied with your work. About family and friends. About hopes and fears and ideals. About whatever else it is that good friends talk about.

She was intelligent, and kept my brain from falling asleep at the wheel. She was creative, and could empathize when sympathy wasn't enough. She had had a lopsided share of tragedy in life, yet was always positive and upbeat and encouraging. realized how important she was to me after she moved to the island. I had come out to a few people, and was still quite new to the game. Positive reactions were reassuring and relieving: negative ones hurt. Good-byes are always sad - sudden, permanent good-byes are heart-wrenching. It was time to tell my island friend - to strengthen an already solid relationship, or to cut loose while there was still emotional time.

I had tried to tell her many times during this visit. On each attempt, something balked. How do start? What if she hates me? It's not the right place. Right time. Right mood. Anxiety was high, for the risk was great. She was an important person in my life. A loss would be devastating. This was a big one, and could lead to big hurt.

Sailboats lounged on the horizon. The sun whispered of lazy island heat. The beer was wet and warming. and went down easily. We talked. About our work, our families, our lives. It was not a trivial conversation we would not be seeing each other for some time.

I tried to find a good place to start - a key transitional phrase or a brief lapse. My head spun with fears and hopes and senarios. Outside, my body kept talking and listening and gesturing. Inside my blood ran cold ... hot ... cold. My feet went numb, then my hands, then my feet again. She talked, I listened. talked, she listened. Ocean Park disappeared. The Atlantic disappeared. Breathing became difficult. Every cell screamed with anxiety. My heart pounded furiously. Throat and lungs swelled with unspoken words, waiting for relcase and acceptance - bracing for hurt and anger. The beer wasn't cold. It wasn't warm. It wasn't wet or dry. I chugged like madman, talked, I listened. She talked, she listened. The sailboats hung precariously on the edge of everything.

It came from nowhere, from everywhere. We were talking about relationships whose can't remember. It just fell into the conversation, unannounced, unplanned, unexpected.

"...Yeah, like, I've been seeing this guy for a couple of months now, and sometimes you just gotta take things as they are.' From the ocean, watched myself say the words. From the gazebo, I heard myself say them. What was I doing? Not like that. Not without a preface, a warning. Not just thrown into the middle of a conversation. You blew it!

"Uh-huh," she said,"but she doesn't have to put up with some of the games he plays." "Uh-huh,' she had said. She didn't miss a beat, just kept on talking. "Uh-huh.' Was that it? "Did you hear what I just said?" "What?" "That I've been seeing another guy?" "Yeah." "That doesn't shock you? Doesn't bother you? Arc you surprised?" "1 know you. I think I know what you are like. People are people. You know that doesn't bother me.

The Atlantic ocean reappeared. The beer tumed wet. My body resumed normal operations. We talked. About being gay, about being straight. A close woman friend from childhood recently told her she was involved with another woman. Though understanding, she was still upset. I told lier to be strong, to be patient. To treat her friend no differently, yet not pretend the issue didn't ist. I consoled and supported her starting role reversal, I thought, given the situation. And by suggesting how to cope and deal with her gay woman friend, I was exlaining how her gay male friend expected to be treated.

The sun and the conversation shifted. We talked about the creative curse. Life on the island. Life in the city. The weather, the world, and whatever else it is that good friends talk about. My ferry was leaving shortly. She had to get ready for work. She drove me to the dock. We exchanged a kiss and a hug, and my "Thanks™ covered more than her hospitality.

The ferry rumbled on toward the mainland. Watching the island fade into the sea, I savored wam memorics and banished thoughts of work til the next day. turned to feel the wind and the spray on my face. The water sparkled brilliantly in the late aftemoon sun. Yes, I thought, it has been wonderful summer.

Excerpted from "Revelatons: A Collection of Gay Male Coming Out Stories", published by Alyson Publications, Inc., Boston, MA., $7.95 per volume, paper-bound.

REVELATIONS: A collection of gay male coming out stories

edited by Wayne Curtis

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Contestants from all over the statc participated in the 1988 Miss Gay Alabama pageant held at Studio F in Montgomery on August 26. Raven Madd, last year's Miss Gay Alabama, passed the crown to this year's winner, Jessica Southern of Birmingham. Southern and first runner up Kandi Leigh of Birmingham will represent the state at the Miss Gay America Pageant. Second runner up was Charlene Rose, of Montgomery, and Monica Cladwell of Montgomery was awarded Miss Congeniality honors. Miss Southern is a regular member of the show cast at Fantasics in Birmingham. She wished to thank all of her Birmingham supporters and especially Terry Morgan, Fairah Harbin and Raven Madd.

[Photo Captioned "Miss Gay Alabama, Jessica Southern"]

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